JustMizz Posted August 10, 2018 Share Posted August 10, 2018 I'm pretty confused right now. I've known my fwb a little over a year now. We hooked up a few times when we first met. I wanted more and he didnt so I moved on and found someone else. Fast forward 9 months. I break up with my ex and a month later my fwb text me and asked if I wanted to hang out. At that point I was done with dating (at least for a while) and agreed to hang out with him, just as fwb. That's what we agreed on. The situation was going well, we go out and have a good time together but I have been sure to keep my emotions in check. We've been seeing each other for about 2 months now. Well, today we were chatting and basically he said he has no idea how I feel about him because I show no emotion and that he would like for me to show more if I'm feeling anything. Err......that's not how it works! Anyways, now I'm feeling confused and awkward. Deep down I do have some feelings for him but I never allowed them to come to fruition because I never thought he would catch feelings. Anyways, maybe I'm overthinking this. That's why I'm posting here. What do ya'll think? Link to post Share on other sites
aminae7 Posted August 10, 2018 Share Posted August 10, 2018 Just be honest. That's the best way. If you get everything off of your chest once, then see what he says. Is he interested in you as well? Are you two interested in starting a relationship together? You could also if you are stronger just tell him you would much rather be friends and not have sex anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted August 10, 2018 Share Posted August 10, 2018 He asked you to share what you were feeling, so do! Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustMizz Posted August 10, 2018 Author Share Posted August 10, 2018 He asked you to share what you were feeling, so do! I did tell him that I was holding back some and he told me that I didn't have to. I'm just scared of being too vulnerable, I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 10, 2018 Share Posted August 10, 2018 "I don't really know. We've never actually dated. I don't know what it would be like to date you and get to know you, only to sleep with you. " hint hint That lets him know you'd consider something but you're not just going to flip a switch. Because it's true, people treat sex partners different than people they actually want to stay with. I really think he'll have more respect for you if you make sure he knows sex isn't the only thing you like to share in an actual relationship. Light a fire under him and see what he'll do -- or if convenient sex is all he can muster. In which case, nah. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustMizz Posted August 10, 2018 Author Share Posted August 10, 2018 "I don't really know. We've never actually dated. I don't know what it would be like to date you and get to know you, only to sleep with you. " hint hint That lets him know you'd consider something but you're not just going to flip a switch. Because it's true, people treat sex partners different than people they actually want to stay with. I really think he'll have more respect for you if you make sure he knows sex isn't the only thing you like to share in an actual relationship. Light a fire under him and see what he'll do -- or if convenient sex is all he can muster. In which case, nah. Excellent advice. Thank you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 10, 2018 Share Posted August 10, 2018 Also, that way you find out if he really does want more or if he just started getting jealous thinking you might be seeing other guys. You know, it's human nature to get jealous with someone you're having sex with , even if you don't really want them or have the best intentions. It lets him know you have greater expectations from someone you date seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustMizz Posted August 11, 2018 Author Share Posted August 11, 2018 Also, that way you find out if he really does want more or if he just started getting jealous thinking you might be seeing other guys. You know, it's human nature to get jealous with someone you're having sex with , even if you don't really want them or have the best intentions. It lets him know you have greater expectations from someone you date seriously. Jealousy could very well be the culprit. Last week I posted on FB that I was going out and then yesterday I mentioned I might go out to eat with someone. Just casual talking, I wasnt trying to elicit a response. I honestly didn't think he cared. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 11, 2018 Share Posted August 11, 2018 Yup, he had a jealous possessive reaction probably. See, it's bad for his ego, so he wanted to see if you'd pick him instead of that guy -- but it would have been more impressive if he'd come up with that before the competition made him react. But still, my first advice still holds. Be clear you're DATING to find a RELATIONSHIP, not having casual sex to find a person who just wants sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustMizz Posted August 13, 2018 Author Share Posted August 13, 2018 Ugh, why did he have to do this. Now I can't stop thinking about him and wondering what he's feeling. Sigh. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 Just tell him how you feel then you won't have to wonder. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustMizz Posted August 13, 2018 Author Share Posted August 13, 2018 Just tell him how you feel then you won't have to wonder. I am the next time we get together. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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