My boyfriend/husband told me that I WILL sleep with his bestfriend

[youngfinelady girlie]

A couple of nights ago my boyfriend told me that he knows for a fact that i am going to sleep with his bestfriend and that he thinks that it would just be easier if he goes ahead and invites him for a threesome. NOW before you can jugde and get mad about what was said let me explain to you what is going on.

My boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years and there is a 7 year age gab between us. he is older then me. Well within these last 3 years one of his childhood bestfriend has been around for 1 of them, and in this last year that he has been around he and i have been very flirty with each other. as a matter of fact within in the last month things have become more and more aparent to even those who have just met us.

On the day that my man told me how he felt about his bestfriend and I we where out drinking. It was my man, me, the bestfriend, and some co-worker who happens to be a female. it started off that we where going to just have one drink due to the stress of work and well it turned out that we ended up in a hotelroom and we were all really letting our stress out. (alot of drinking was going on and alot of sociallizing) For the first time it became very aparent to me that his friend is very attracted to me. To be honest for the first time i will admit that our flirting did get out of control. I show myself playing with his hair, laying on him, and even getting alittle jealous when he's attention was not on me. (YES, THAT I KNOW IS VERY WRONG) But let me not forget to tell you what he was doing. He order my favorite shrimp cocktail it was for him, but he got it so he could share with me and he even tried to feed it to me. HE layed on me first and he keep putting his forehead on mine and would talk to me with his face on in my face, IF he really wanted to he could have kissed me and there would have been no way that I could have blocked it, and when he would go to the restroom he would tell me in a joking tone " now don't look in, you are my bestfriend's girlfriend and we can't do that." ( and yes my man was there the whole time and yes he could hear and see what was going on.) There was a point in the night where the co-worker asked me and the bestfriend how long have we known each other and when i told her she looked at me as if she where in disgust. So for her a stranger to have a feeling about what was going on i know that it is obvious the cymistry that we have for each other.

Well when the night finished i have my finally test of the night. My man left for 30minutes to go get our son from where he was staying at the night and it was just me and the bestfriend. His friend told me that he told me since i was complaining about me being hot that i should get naked, and when i told no i am not drunk enough for that then he said that he would start it off. Then just to make matters worst he told me that i need to hook him up because he has been dry for sometime, but i was good I told him NO!!

When my man came back and his friend took off for the night i told my man what had happened and i was so proud of myself because i finally shut him down. but instead of him being happy for me he told me that HE knows for a fact that i am going to end up sleeping with his bestfriend and that he has already came to terms with it. Me i think that is wrong because i know for a fact that i would not do that to him, heck i wouldnt want that to happend to me. I even tried to reasure him that no matter how much i drink nothing will happen but instead he insist that it is going to happen. Do I have the right to be upset or should i just let him think what he wants.

[JadeStar]

You're proud of yourself for not sleeping with him? Yeah, thats fine but you still were drinking and flirting, laying all over each other etc. You even told him when asked you to get naked, you weren't drunk enough for that? Which bascailly says to someone that was drinking as well(him) that had you been drunk enough you very well may could have. It doesn't matter that you told your b/f no matter how much you may drink you wouldn't sleep with that guy, cuz you don't know that.

 

Actually your b/f probably feels you would sleep with this guy because of your actions. I can't say I blame him for thinking that. However for him to want to invite him for a threesome, because he thinks you would anyway, is just not cool. Unless it what you all want to do, then go for it. Hope it doesn't ruin your relationship with your b/f. My guess is at some point it will. I would also say, watch your alcohol intake from now on, especailly when your b/f's friend is around.

 

 

Jade

[LucreziaBorgia]

he told me that HE knows for a fact that i am going to end up sleeping with his bestfriend and that he has already came to terms with it.

 

At least your b/f knows what is coming. Unless you go complete 'no contact' with this other guy - meaning you do not see him, talk to him, or be around him alone in any way, shape or form - eventually you two will sleep together. You are fooling yourself if you think you aren't. You know that. Your b/f knows that. The other guy knows that.

 

Being under the influence is no excuse. People don't do things they don't want to. Alcohol just lowers the inhibitions to the point where they feel comfortable doing the things they don't want to admit they want to do.

 

Unless you firmly end it - your b/f has no reason to think you are not eventually going to sleep with him.

[Craig]

I hope you don't have the illusion that your relationship is going anywhere. You are going to cheat on your bf and he knows it.

 

You don't have any right to be upset with your bf, you should instead feel sorry that he has a gf like you.

[Spectre]

Right, I just wonder what type of people live out there? really now, it seems every single girl cheats on their bf just cuz they can, im sorry no offense but you come off as slutty, if I was your bf I'd dump you

 

you have a CHILD with your bf or whatever yet youre still openly flirting with his BEST friend right in front of him, lol..wtf? just DUMP HIM, why do chicks feel the need to stay with guys they are MESSING with, let him go, I repeat:his life is 10093993903209 times better off without you in it, you cant love this guy at all and I even question whether you respect yourself, you act like you've NEVER once had male attention before, really now, this is just getting sad people, if youre in a relationship with someone you have to atleast LIKE them, yet wtf? you ARENT acting like you do, dump your bf and never talk to him again please, nobody deserves that stuff, I would of beaten my friends ass AND booted you the f*ck out a long time ago

[Bryanp]

Here is a thought: How would you feel if your boyfriend was flirting and laying all over another woman in front of you? The fact is that you have humiliated and disrespect your boyfriend to the max and he feels he knows what is coming. Your boyfriend saw you flirting and all over this guy right in front of him. Why would you disrespect your man this way? By the way this friend is no friend of your boyfriend. If you have any illusions of marrying your boyfriend this is not what you do. Not only have you disrespected your boyfriend but you have disrespected yourself and lost the respect of your boyfriend as well.

[elijahBailey]

well, see, now i know why the divorce rate in the country has shot thru the roof.

[sanne]

you sound like a real catch......

[Dean3922]

Well when the night finished i have my finally test of the night. My man left for 30minutes to go get our son from where he was staying at the night and it was just me and the best friend. His friend told me that he told me since i was complaining about me being hot that i should get naked, and when i told no i am not drunk enough for that then he said that he would start it off. Then just to make matters worst he told me that i need to hook him up because he has been dry for sometime, but i was good I told him NO!!

 

You know your b/f is right. That is what is bothering you. Like LB says unless you stay away from him it will happen. I think you want it to happen. You say if you were a little drunker you would have gotten naked with him. You commend yourself for being good and saying no, thus you passed the test. You know if the two of you have another opportunity he will get some. You know it and your b/f knows it and the friend knows it too.

 

If you don't want it to happen end your association with him and tell your b/f to not bring him around you.

[RainyDayWoman]

you said boyfriend/husband...which is it?

 

(sorry if you answered that, but you didn't courtesy space, so i didn't read the whole thing.)

[jhurtinct]

A couple of nights ago my boyfriend told me that he knows for a fact that i am going to sleep with his bestfriend and that he thinks that it would just be easier if he goes ahead and invites him for a threesome

 

does anyone think it's wrong because of the way the b/f brought it up?

 

If he a real issue with it he could said something a little adult.

 

Doesn't like he he's taking things to serious either.........

[LucreziaBorgia]

 

Doesn't like he he's taking things to serious either.........

 

I don't imagine he would after watching this year-long train wreck in progress between his friend and his g/f. I was thinking that perhaps his emotional investment in her has dropped so low that he no longer has a problem putting her into the 'passaround girl' category, and the relationship will come to a painful grinding halt within a few months. After a while of watching something like that, I can't blame the guy for letting his emotional investment in her drop - if it was even that high to begin with.

 

Either that, or the guy has an ironclad ego that isn't affected by infidelity - but that's very, very rare.

[Kitteney]

As I was reading through this, I kept thinking "Why does this man want to stay with this woman?" And then someone refreshed my memory, he suggested the 3-some.

 

It's just a little too weird for me. He's encouraging the infidelity and trying to legitimize it with a 3-some. Is he trying to cleanse his conscience? Did he do the nasty with someone and now he wants you to do wrong so you won't have anything on him? (trying to turn two wrongs into a right?)

 

Maybe the boyfriend has the hots for the bestfriend and the girlfriend is merely a means to an end....hmmm... so many questions.

[elijahBailey]

It's just a little too weird for me. He's encouraging the infidelity and trying to legitimize it with a 3-some.

 

No he isn't. His mind's just blanked out for the time being. Once he comes around, he's probably gonna dump her.

[PatientOne]

It sounds like all the involved parties here are painfully immature.

 

I feel bad for the child.

[clandestinidad]

I cant believe how selfish you are. Look at what youre doing...making yourself feel better b/c you like the attention these men are giving you, while destroying your current relationship, plus your childs life by hurting his/her father. children KNOW what goes on, and if you hurt him it will hurt him/her for the rest of his/her life!!!

 

if youre not happy in your relationship, then get out of it! if you ARE happy in it, then QUIT ASSOCIATING WITH HIS BEST FRIEND!!! you might feel wonderful now, but youre going to lose everyone in the end.

 

stop being so selfish and respect your man and your child and your relationship!!!

 

btw, the only reason he's suggesting a 3-some is so that he has SOME type of control over the situation and KNOWS what goes on....I cant believe you've made him so paranoid and sad that he would rather see you and this guy together than know that youre doing it behind his back!!!

 

your relationship is DOOMED unless you tell your man that youre sorry for how selfish youve been, that you liked the extra attention, you were wrong, and you WONT talk to him anymore....and IF your man still wants to be friends with him, then you will let the 2 of them hang out by themselves without you there....or at least you will keep at least 3 feet away from him!!!!

[Iluvsiamese]

Ummm, am I the only one getting the feeling that this is something that the b/f (or whatever he is) has been through this scenario before with this best friend of his?? I can't imagine someone being this blase about the whole business--not if there was any emotional investment in the relationship... UNLESS this is something that the two of these guys have done before? Maybe they have had mutual girlfriends in the past. Bizarre, but not out of the range of possibility.