Author Hockey52 Posted August 17, 2018 Author Share Posted August 17, 2018 I am sure he knows this, but she must be something else for him to focus on her. She should have been honest to him though. False hope and then stabs him with another date for dinner with a so called (friend) aka guy friend.. Im not quite sure if it was another guy I will never know. She wanted space basically she said, so i am giving it to her. It has been only 2 days "she needs time to think" i am still not clear about but it was getting to the next level eventually. I know she has been hurt badly according to her so she said shes is just protecting herself but I hope I hear from her by this weekend at least.. I am moving on, I have no choice I offered my help etc.. Still not sure how this came crashing down it feels.. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 I am sure he knows this, but she must be something else for him to focus on her. She should have been honest to him though. False hope and then stabs him with another date for dinner with a so called (friend) aka guy friend.. Oh, please. There is zero evidence she had a date with someone else. Let's stop putting ideas into OP's head when there is nothing to back it up with but some flimsy conjecture. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hockey52 Posted August 17, 2018 Author Share Posted August 17, 2018 Oh, please. There is zero evidence she had a date with someone else. Let's stop putting ideas into OP's head when there is nothing to back it up with but some flimsy conjecture. Not for anything, I don't think she would do that to me. If anything I think she means what she means.. She needs some time for some odd reason.. I will not message but there has to be a time limit. Because when i did ask her to hang out Wednesday, she said Ya sure i will. But I do still need time to think and figure things out". I was wondering if she had no intention at all wouldn't she just of ended it there saying something else? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 Not for anything, I don't think she would do that to me. If anything I think she means what she means.. She needs some time for some odd reason.. I will not message but there has to be a time limit. Because when i did ask her to hang out Wednesday, she said Ya sure i will. But I do still need time to think and figure things out". I was wondering if she had no intention at all wouldn't she just of ended it there saying something else? Not necessarily. If she's the timid type, it would be difficult for her to come out and tell you there will be no more hanging out. It's not the most mature and direct, but it happens all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hockey52 Posted August 17, 2018 Author Share Posted August 17, 2018 [/b] Not necessarily. If she's the timid type, it would be difficult for her to come out and tell you there will be no more hanging out. It's not the most mature and direct, but it happens all the time. Yeah possibly, But it is honestly making me nervous waiting.. Idon't know what to do.. I wanted to go out with her tonight or tomorrow. Now I cant even ask because of this.. I wonder if she will say anything to me by weekends end.. NOt sure how long it would take.. If she wanted to end things at that moment I feel she would of said something else. Just don't like if you cant wait, I understand. But I feel thats her low self esteem talking from her "damage". Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 Don't wait for her. She doesn't want you to. Treat this as though you won't hear from her again. Go off and do your own thing. If someday she wants to get in touch, you will know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hockey52 Posted August 17, 2018 Author Share Posted August 17, 2018 Don't wait for her. She doesn't want you to. Treat this as though you won't hear from her again. Go off and do your own thing. If someday she wants to get in touch, you will know. Why wouldn't she want me to wait for her? I don't mind.. I just don't get the deal how this all happened so suddenly.. Should i message her on sunday or monday if I don't hear from her? Just somthing small like " Hey, How are you feeling? " Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 Why wouldn't she want me to wait for her? I don't mind.. I just don't get the deal how this all happened so suddenly.. Should i message her on sunday or monday if I don't hear from her? Just somthing small like " Hey, How are you feeling? " Because I just don't think she is interested, to be honest. She told you twice you don't need to wait. She's indirectly trying to signal to you that it's fine if you stop asking her out. There's only one reason we would say that to a guy, and it's because we really aren't into it. It's about you being okay with waiting; it's about a lack of interest on her part. No, I wouldn't continue to message her. You've tried and she's not showing signs that she wants to keep talking right now. You already let her know the door is open if she wants. Leave it be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hockey52 Posted August 17, 2018 Author Share Posted August 17, 2018 Because I just don't think she is interested, to be honest. She told you twice you don't need to wait. She's indirectly trying to signal to you that it's fine if you stop asking her out. There's only one reason we would say that to a guy, and it's because we really aren't into it. It's about you being okay with waiting; it's about a lack of interest on her part. No, I wouldn't continue to message her. You've tried and she's not showing signs that she wants to keep talking right now. You already let her know the door is open if she wants. Leave it be. Yeah I did leave the door open.. is it really lack of interest on her end or her being that damaged and not trusting? Not sure what to do I really do want to talk to her but I don’t know when she will contact me. I hope she says something this weekend since she won’t be working Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 Yeah I did leave the door open.. is it really lack of interest on her end or her being that damaged and not trusting? Not sure what to do I really do want to talk to her but I don’t know when she will contact me. I hope she says something this weekend since she won’t be working Only she knows that. Either way, it doesn't change the bottom line, which is that she is not presently giving any indication that she is enthusiastic about continuing this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hockey52 Posted August 18, 2018 Author Share Posted August 18, 2018 Only she knows that. Either way, it doesn't change the bottom line, which is that she is not presently giving any indication that she is enthusiastic about continuing this. You’re right.. tbh I may just try once more tomorrow and say like “Hey how you been?” Just to see her response because I can’t keep waiting it’s been 3 days now it’s ridiculous what’s so bad of me that she needs to think so hard.. too bad my friend is one vacation I don’t want to bother him with this but he told she wouldn’t do this that’s why I’m so upset Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 18, 2018 Share Posted August 18, 2018 You’re right.. tbh I may just try once more tomorrow and say like “Hey how you been?” Just to see her response because I can’t keep waiting it’s been 3 days now it’s ridiculous what’s so bad of me that she needs to think so hard.. too bad my friend is one vacation I don’t want to bother him with this but he told she wouldn’t do this that’s why I’m so upset She isn't thinking hard about you, though. That's the point. I imagine she thought she was clear enough so that you wouldn't actually be sitting there waiting for her. She indirectly already cut you loose. Let this be a lesson that nobody can ever tell you what another person will or won't do. Your friend wouldn't have wanted this to happen, of course, but it was unrealistic for him to tell you she would or wouldn't do anything. He (or his fiance) isn't her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hockey52 Posted August 22, 2018 Author Share Posted August 22, 2018 She isn't thinking hard about you, though. That's the point. I imagine she thought she was clear enough so that you wouldn't actually be sitting there waiting for her. She indirectly already cut you loose. Let this be a lesson that nobody can ever tell you what another person will or won't do. Your friend wouldn't have wanted this to happen, of course, but it was unrealistic for him to tell you she would or wouldn't do anything. He (or his fiance) isn't her. We texted a few times here and there on Sunday and Monday but she didn’t answer mid convo.. I saw her at work today she works in a different location she is temporary there but she asked me what I was doing here and how is everything.. I don’t get what’s her issue why she won’t messahe me back but I hope she says something tonight or something.. I moving on just confused Link to post Share on other sites
Juha Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 There is nothing to be confused about. It does not matter what her reasons are for not responding to her, not wanting to see you. All you need to know is you are not going out with her, that is all that matters to you. Nothing else matters, it does not make a difference why she is not going out with you. Your job is to try and date her, not be her knight in shining armor. You do not try to save women or help women you do not have any close relationship with. I agree with post above that it was not right for your friend and his fiance (her sister) to say she liked you and would not screw you over. I would tell your friend and fiance thanks but no thanks anymore to fixing you up as it was obvious they were 100% wrong about her. Go find a woman who is not damaged goods and actually wants to date you, unlike this woman. IF she wants to see you she will be in touch. Until then, do not contact this woman ever again,never, never, never... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hockey52 Posted August 23, 2018 Author Share Posted August 23, 2018 There is nothing to be confused about. It does not matter what her reasons are for not responding to her, not wanting to see you. All you need to know is you are not going out with her, that is all that matters to you. Nothing else matters, it does not make a difference why she is not going out with you. Your job is to try and date her, not be her knight in shining armor. You do not try to save women or help women you do not have any close relationship with. I agree with post above that it was not right for your friend and his fiance (her sister) to say she liked you and would not screw you over. I would tell your friend and fiance thanks but no thanks anymore to fixing you up as it was obvious they were 100% wrong about her. Go find a woman who is not damaged goods and actually wants to date you, unlike this woman. IF she wants to see you she will be in touch. Until then, do not contact this woman ever again,never, never, never... I know I understand.. I just really started to like her and basically said to me I need time, if you don’t want to wait I understand... every time I post something she is the first one somehow liking it or viewing my stories... doesn’t make sense to me in that way Link to post Share on other sites
Juha Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 I know I understand.. I just really started to like her and basically said to me I need time, if you don’t want to wait I understand... every time I post something she is the first one somehow liking it or viewing my stories... doesn’t make sense to me in that way I completely understand that and I agree it can be confusing. Her actions are for her reasons and you have no idea why she does anything she does or is thinking. You will drive yourself nuts if you keep thinking about why she does things or what she is thinking... Unfollow her or maybe delete her need to keep your sanity here man If she gets hurt or upset that is her issue not yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Larry56 Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 And please, do keep in mind that this might have nothing to do with you personally, and simply be related to her own issues. The right girl for you will reciprocate your interest. She's out there. The right girl = a girl who is actually attracted to you. OP - Understand that you are trying to rationalize her behaviour because you're trying to see things from HER point of view. Let's take a look at it. You've been out on 4 dates and she's not really displaying much interest to you...Buttttt....apparently her friends say she really likes you. Uhhh...okay...remember...Actions need to match words mate! What's going most likely is that and I'm sorry to tell you this but the reality is that she's probably still attracted to her ex and you are not as good as him. I'm sorry if that hurts but it's the truth. Just trying to help you out. The reason why she is texting you every morning is because you are being her emotional pillow and she is receiving energy from you to get over her issues. Women going through breakups feed on attention as a way to get over a guy. If it's been a year...then it just simply means you don't match up to her ideal expectations she wants in a guy. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 Viewing or liking your online activity doesn't mean anything other than she's online a lot and doesn't think you're a bad guy. People read far too much into innocuous social media behaviour; don't fall into that trap. I agree with Juha. Why is or isn't doing something isn't important anymore. The only thing that matter is that she isn't showing signs of interest in dating you. I would continue to keep your distance from her so you can move on more easily. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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