AlinaSmi Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 We matched on tinder, he’s 26, I’m 24. He told me he wanted to meet up as soon as possible as he likes me a lot. So we met the day after he visited my county. We met in the morning in the hotel reception as if to have a breakfast. He led me to the elevator, I thought he might forget something in the room. He started to touch me and I told him it’s too early. We sat there in the room I asked him to go to have a breakfast or go to walk maybe, he asked if I’m not comfortable there, or just did nothing for some time. I asked him why he’s dating, if for random hookups, he asked why random, that he’s a guy, he wants a girl. He asked me if I want to get married have kids, I said I’m more into serious relationship. He said he would text me, we can fly to each other and meet him in his origin country maybe as I plan to move there. I didn’t let him touch me for a while, he would do anyway, I couldn’t resist and kissed him. He was tooo handsome( We happened to have sex and even slept there for 2 or more hours. He was tired and wanted to sleep during the sex. We talked a little about ourselves, I asked him if he wanted to meet my friend (he’s gay) as I was gonna meet him. He laughed, he said he was afraid and he was exhausted. I decided to leave. He said he would meet again in the morning, I asked him about the evening, he said yes, at least in the morning as he was going to leave next day in the evening. Later in the evening my friend swipes tinder and matches with him. He texts him right away and texts me hey on whatsapp at the same time. My friend asks him if he already met some girls in tinder and he says “ The beat comes last “. My friend unmatches him, and I send him my friends photo waving him saying hi. He texts “ Sorry”. Later I make a fake profile with very ugly, shallow photos, and he matches with that profile 2 mins after I made it. He texts rocket emojis and stuff, I start to critisize him a lot, as if he uses emojis of toys of his childhood and he says he used to play with a doll. I tell him I wasn’t that gay, also I start to argue with him upon scientific theories of Freud and many things and almost humiliate him though he continues texting and wants to meet up in the evening. I critisize him more saying girls like to be amused, he’s doing the opposite, he probably swipes tinder all the time and never comes out of his hotel room. He texts a long mesaage saying he would explore more art and stuff maybe with her as if an amusement and he’s willing to meet her in her country next time when he visits it. He called me at night right after he texted so to that fake tinder profile. He starts to apologize, as if he doesn’t want me to think all men are *******s like him. And that he likes me, he had a nice time with me, that was nothing worse for him or something. He hung up phone very quickly and I thougjt his phone might die or something and also he sounded very desperate and I even thought he was drunk. I text him “ We will meet or we won’t “ . I text him I’m ok, but I want him to promise he would never treat women like **** anymore. He doesn’t text back, nor I ever see him online. Next day in the evening I get worried and ai text him again “ please give me any sign, you sounded sad I’m worried “ , and he doesn’t reply again. I call him and he picks the phone. I couldn’t hear him as I was outside and he wasn’t loud. I got even more worried. I asked him anyway how he felt, he sounded really deaperate, he said he wasn’t ok as I wasn’t ok, that he wasn’t there with me and stuff. He said there was a connection between us and that’s it’s important for him. I couldn’t hear him well. I asked why wouldn’t he asnwer my messages as I was worried, he said he didn’t check them often and that he wants to talk. I told him I would text him when I was home. He said we might try to talk the next day then. I texted him I would text him when I’m home any way and that I’m happy he is safe. He texted he might be sleeping already, he wishes I’d really be good soon and thank you. I didn’t answer to that. That was all. He didn’t call and texted me “How are you?”. I didn’t respond yet. I see his tinder location change all the time, I don’t know if it means he uses it all the time. What should I do? What did he want? Was he really sorry or why would he say he feels connection between us. I’m so desperate I don’t know what to do. I’ve never been so offended and I don’t know what is this all about!(( Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 (edited) Sorry this happened to you Alina. The first rule of dating is that if you have sex with a person on the day you meet, you need to have ZERO expectations of it. This guy was just wanting a hookup. I know he said otherwise, but you must always judge a person by their actions, not their words. Taking you to his room as soon as he met you clearly indicated what he wanted. You don't need to worry about him. You don't need to try and save him. There is no connection. Just chalk it up as a life experience and move on. Edited August 13, 2018 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 14, 2018 Share Posted August 14, 2018 Why were you worrying so much about him as he wasn't worried about you after the hook up. How did he hurt you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlinaSmi Posted August 14, 2018 Author Share Posted August 14, 2018 Sorry this happened to you Alina. The first rule of dating is that if you have sex with a person on the day you meet, you need to have ZERO expectations of it. This guy was just wanting a hookup. I know he said otherwise, but you must always judge a person by their actions, not their words. Taking you to his room as soon as he met you clearly indicated what he wanted. You don't need to worry about him. You don't need to try and save him. There is no connection. Just chalk it up as a life experience and move on. I thought I might answer his call is he ever calls or text him back about how I feel. Just to tell him how offended and disgusted I am, that I believed him when he called to apologize but now he’s doing everything possible to make me even more offended. That I’m never willing to see him and sleep with him if he doesn’t found someone else on tinder. That he should go back to the shallow duckfaces he matches with and differentiate the best and the worst among them. Is this better then ignoring him or not? Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlinaSmi Posted August 14, 2018 Author Share Posted August 14, 2018 Why were you worrying so much about him as he wasn't worried about you after the hook up. How did he hurt you? He texted the other girl “ the beat comes last”. And then he matched with another shallow duckface and probably liked her more than me. And now he’s making fun of me. I thought I might answer his call is he ever calls or text him back about how I feel. Just to tell him how offended and disgusted I am, that I believed him when he called to apologize but now he’s doing everything possible to make me even more offended. That I’m never willing to see him and sleep with him if he doesn’t found someone else on tinder. That he should go back to the shallow duckfaces he matches with and differentiate the best and the worst among them. Is this better then ignoring him or not? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 It was Tinder & he was on vacation. What part of he only wanted sex did you miss? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlinaSmi Posted August 15, 2018 Author Share Posted August 15, 2018 It was Tinder & he was on vacation. What part of he only wanted sex did you miss? The part he texted the other girl “ the best comes last”. And that he was so thrilled to match and talk to that ugly looking shallow girl in slutty clothes doong a duckface. He didn’t even care he was critisized or he even liked that more. I’m shocked. I can’t believe this all happened to me amd is real. Link to post Share on other sites
ElKay Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 Are you just offended that he found someone more attractive than you? :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 The part he texted the other girl “ the best comes last”. And that he was so thrilled to match and talk to that ugly looking shallow girl in slutty clothes doong a duckface. He didn’t even care he was critisized or he even liked that more. I’m shocked. I can’t believe this all happened to me amd is real. Why can’t you believe this happened to you? Tinder is a hook-up site. You met a stranger from another country and had sex with him. Hopefully you enjoyed it and he did too. Then it was over. Did you expect more? If you did, you need to have better boundaries and make better choices. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 The best you can do is ignore him if he ever says anything else. He's just looking for quick convenient sex and doesn't care who with. Sorry. You have to get off Tinder if you want a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 This sort of thing is very common these days. You have to be careful and wary, he asked you to meet at a hotel.. warning signs. You didn't spend too much time or feelings on this man, so write it off and keep moving forward. Tinder can be a place to start a relationship, but you have to find out their intentions and be clear about yours. Maybe take things more slowly next time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlinaSmi Posted August 16, 2018 Author Share Posted August 16, 2018 This sort of thing is very common these days. You have to be careful and wary, he asked you to meet at a hotel.. warning signs. You didn't spend too much time or feelings on this man, so write it off and keep moving forward. Tinder can be a place to start a relationship, but you have to find out their intentions and be clear about yours. Maybe take things more slowly next time. The thing is not that he didn’t want a relationship but that he was visiting for 2 days, he never went out to see the city only in the morning, and he was so active on tinder. He was collecting panties or he wanted to meet as much people as possible or am I that bad and he wanted to meet some other people? Also texting the second girl “ The best comes last “ will never get off my mind. He called and apologized and said that he liked me, it was nothing worse for him or anything, but I don’t low if it is so. Why wouldn’t he say such a thing then? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 You had a ONS with a jerk. It happens. You can't get this invested this quick. He shouldn't matter enough to hurt you because it was NSA sex. If you are going to get this hung up on somebody you swapped bodily fluids with solely over the act, you need to stop having early sex because you can't handle it. Instead take your time. Get to know someone & then have sex after you established that he's a good person, you click & that you are exclusive. You will save yourself a great deal of heartache. Step one, delete your Tinder account. I'm sorry he hurt your feelings. On some level you got "lucky" that he said that to your friend so you had proof that he wasn't a loyal guy. If he'd said that to a women you didn't know & you were never told you could have gone through life thinking you'd been dissed by a good guy instead of a player. Now that you know his true character just forget him, get yourself tested & move on. You were not the 1st girl he used for sex nor will you be the last. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 You had a ONS with a jerk. More like a 5MS That means 5 minute stand. I just coined the phrase. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 (edited) (Deleted by poster) Edited August 17, 2018 by bathtub-row Link to post Share on other sites
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