Girl at work

[Jeremym]

So there’s this girl that I have been working with for the last 4 months. The first day we worked together we immediately got really cool and had a lot of fun. I knew she was talking to another guy, so I did not pursue it. But this guy really screwed up and has since hurt her. I’m so confused as to whether she likes me as just a friend or more. She is the secretary, so she has to text everybody about paychecks and things, but that is where we really started talking outside of work and getting to know each other. At first it was almost always me putting in the effort to contact her, but nowadays she will contact me almost daily to talk for hours on end about anything and everything. She also literally never tells me she can’t talk or has to go and 9 times out of 10 she replies with lengthy messages and gives me extremely quick responses. She also quite often goes out of her way to join me in eating lunch in the break room and having talks with me in person too. She seems to really enjoy my company. She doesn’t do any of these things with anybody else in at this job. It’s only with me and she has started to confide in me about things in her life that she won’t tell anybody else and tells me how much she trusts me with anything. I know I’m a funny guy and we joke around, but she will laugh at even the dumbest jokes from me in person or via text. Now within the last week, some of my co-workers are telling me that she brings my name up and things that I say and do all the time. That they hear about me from her so much. Not bad things, but just different things I have said or done. I’m so confused as to what to do. We are so close, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship, if she doesn’t like me back like I care about her. I always want her to be in my life, because quite frankly she means the world to me. Should I go for it and does it sound like she truly likes me as more than a friend?

Edited August 14, 2018 by Jeremym

[d0nnivain]

It sounds like she likes you. It also sounds like this will be a complete disaster if you break up while both still working there. If she is a secretary & you are any level above her you could also be opening yourself up to a sexual harassment situation if things go south with your relationship.

[PRW]

First you should listen to what d0nnivain said. Workplace dating can easily lead to looking for a new job.

 

Beyond that....

 

You are coming across as weak and timid for not offering her a date right from the beginning. She was "talking to someone so you didn't persue"?? Screw that! You should have offered her a date right then. The bold get the girl, the timid live in mom & dads basement till they are in their 30's.

 

Unfortunately you have already spent so much time being her "buddy" that you may be screwed. Once a woman sees you as just a platonic "buddy" they are rarely if ever able to "flip" the mental/emotional switch to think of you as a "lover". Emotionally to them it feels like they would be kissing their brother or something,...kind of an "ick" feeling.

 

The idea of "friends first, lovers later" is BS. The truth is "lovers first, friends if it fails". So if you don't make your intentions clear from the beginning,...and then you hit them with your intentions later they will feel sort of "ambushed".

 

This information is all over the internet,...particularly YouTube. I'm not telling you anything unusual. Start with the YouTube channel "FarFromAverage" first, but there are tons of others.