Author Noah22 Posted August 16, 2018 Author Share Posted August 16, 2018 Noah, how many times do I have to tell you that sex doesn't equal love. A man can have sex with 5 women in one day and not feel love for any of them. So can a Prostitute. FWBs have sex but not love. Surely you know this already. But havent some fwbs turned into love??? Also how can he love a girl when hes totally NOT HIMSELF around her? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 No i cant. You can't because you know how he truly feels about you. You are afraid to hear what he has to say because you know your reality with him. And deep down inside, you know he does not love you. That is why you're fighting so hard and asking the same questions over and over again because you DO NOT want to accept it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 But how do they separate love then??? Won't constant sex with 1 girl cause him to fall in love? How come he fall for a girl he hasnt slept with or even has trouble touching or even speaking confidently? I know for a fact that he cant even frame a single sentence properly and he had to push himself coz she quit talking to him. While hes so free and flirty with me . Then how Read up about the chemical oxytocin and how it affects women versus men in terms of emotional bonding. You will then understand why most men (NOT JUST YOUR LOVER) can separate sex from emotion. Most men are very capable of compartmentalizing. And again, when a man only sees you as sex and fun, that is where you will stay. He is not attracted to you in any other way except for the physical. He is nervous around her because he likes her. He is emotionally stirred and moved by her. He isn't that way with you because he's familiar with you and he doesn't find you stimulating in any other way expect for sex and fun. Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 You can't because you know how he truly feels about you. You are afraid to hear what he has to say because you know your reality with him. And deep down inside, you know he does not love you. That is why you're fighting so hard and asking the same questions over and over again because you DO NOT want to accept it. That sounds about right. OP, you'll get over this guy. Maybe not today or tomorrow but soon enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted August 16, 2018 Author Share Posted August 16, 2018 Read up about the chemical oxytocin and how it affects women versus men in terms of emotional bonding. You will then understand why most men (NOT JUST YOUR LOVER) can separate sex from emotion. Most men are very capable of compartmentalizing. And again, when a man only sees you as sex and fun, that is where you will stay. He is not attracted to you in any other way except for the physical. He is nervous around her because he likes her. He is emotionally stirred and moved by her. He isn't that way with you because he's familiar with you and he doesn't find you stimulating in any other way expect for sex and fun. He is a very outgoing, loud and funny guy but around her he struggled to even talk . His friend even told he would go quiet in between which he NEVER DOES. He is very popular with ladies and he has NO inhibitions so how . Hes just not himself and if hes so conscious then he can never be comfortable like he is with me or even with other girls?? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 (edited) He is a very outgoing, loud and funny guy but around her he struggled to even talk . His friend even told he would go quiet in between which he NEVER DOES. He is very popular with ladies and he has NO inhibitions so how . Hes just not himself and if hes so conscious then he can never be comfortable like he is with me or even with other girls?? Yes, because he is nervous around her. She stirs him. When you meet someone that you really like, you sometimes get nervous, intimidated, clammy, sweaty, butterflies, etc. That's why he is different with her. There's something about her that affects him emotionally and mentally. He's not like that with you or with other girls because he is not attracted to you or those other girls that way. If he's popular with the ladies, then he knows he can easily get women. So to him the easy ones don't really affect him. This girl affects him because he can't have her so she has become a challenge and it has thrown him off his game. Edited August 16, 2018 by Zahara 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted August 16, 2018 Author Share Posted August 16, 2018 Yes, because he is nervous around her. She stirs him. When you meet someone that you really like, you sometimes get nervous, intimidated, clammy, sweaty, butterflies, etc. That's why he is different with her. There's something about her that affects him emotionally and mentally. He's not like that with you or with other girls because he is not attracted to you or those other girls that way. If he's popular with the ladies, then he knows he can easily get women. So to him the easy ones don't really affect him. This girl affects him because he can't have her so she has become a challenge and it has thrown him off his game. But she did like him as far as i know and he has created resentment and anger so that is why i didnt that how he can love her and ruin his own chance and still sleep with me/take me out etc Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 Are you sure she actually "liked" him or just talked to him? You weren't there, you don't know what was said. I think he talked to her and found out he didn't make the impression on her that he has on other girls and it's pissing him off. Honestly, Noah, even a blind person can see this why can't you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted August 16, 2018 Author Share Posted August 16, 2018 Are you sure she actually "liked" him or just talked to him? You weren't there, you don't know what was said. I think he talked to her and found out he didn't make the impression on her that he has on other girls and it's pissing him off. Honestly, Noah, even a blind person can see this why can't you? Our friend was present in a lot of the times so he did say she wouod reciprocate all his staring etc even giving smiled Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 But she did like him as far as i know and he has created resentment and anger so that is why i didnt that how he can love her and ruin his own chance and still sleep with me/take me out etc Men want sex. If they can get sex from a woman who does not ask for anything more and offers sex freely, he is going to take it without any want or need to offer anything more to her. He was using you while pursuing her. If things don't work out between them, then he will continue using you until he meets someone else. He does not love you. No matter how fun you are, how much great sex you give him, how many cigarettes you smoke together -- he is not going to give you anything more. You need to pay attention and start using your brain. Read the advice. Try to make sense of what people are saying. Learn the lesson. Become emotionally smart. Right now your threads have you going in circles. The way you present yourself on here is disturbing. Nothing stays in your head. It goes in one ear and out the other. There is no self-reflection, any sort of awareness or feedback to anything anyone is saying. You really need to see a professional. I think it will help you in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted August 16, 2018 Author Share Posted August 16, 2018 Men want sex. If they can get sex from a woman who does not ask for anything more and offers sex freely, he is going to take it without any want or need to offer anything more to her. He was using you while pursuing her. If things don't work out between them, then he will continue using you until he meets someone else. He does not love you. No matter how fun you are, how much great sex you give him, how many cigarettes you smoke together -- he is not going to give you anything more. You need to pay attention and start using your brain. Read the advice. Try to make sense of what people are saying. Learn the lesson. Become emotionally smart. Right now your threads have you going in circles. The way you present yourself on here is disturbing. Nothing stays in your head. It goes in one ear and out the other. There is no self-reflection, any sort of awareness or feedback to anything anyone is saying. You really need to see a professional. I think it will help you in the long run. So u mean he ll dump me once he gets with her? Hes not even comfortable around her though Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 So u mean he ll dump me once he gets with her? Hes not even comfortable around her though He'll dump you when he meets a woman that he is attracted to emotionally and mentally -- whether it is this woman or someone else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted August 17, 2018 Author Share Posted August 17, 2018 He'll dump you when he meets a woman that he is attracted to emotionally and mentally -- whether it is this woman or someone else. Hes not comfortable or himself so how ? To fall in love, u cant be a different version of urself? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 (edited) Hes not comfortable or himself so how ? To fall in love, u cant be a different version of urself? Not sure how else to help you. It’s time you seek professional help. I don’t think this forum is the place for you. You need a therapist and you need to invest time and commitment towards your mental and emotional health — to help you figure out why you’re dysfunctional and obsessive in your thought process. If you present yourself over a forum this way, I can’t imagine how you are in real life. It’s very disturbing. You have lost your common sense and destroyed your self-worth. I’m sure that will fall on deaf ears. The alternative is for you to stay where you are and continue doing what you do. You’ll have to learn the hard way and find your own painful answers. Your threads are always a trip to nowhere. Good luck to you. Edited August 17, 2018 by Zahara 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted August 17, 2018 Author Share Posted August 17, 2018 Not sure how else to help you. It’s time you seek professional help. I don’t think this forum is the place for you. You need a therapist and you need to invest time and commitment towards your mental and emotional health — to help you figure out why you’re dysfunctional and obsessive in your thought process. If you present yourself over a forum this way, I can’t imagine how you are in real life. It’s very disturbing. You have lost your common sense and destroyed your self-worth. I’m sure that will fall on deaf ears. The alternative is for you to stay where you are and continue doing what you do. You’ll have to learn the hard way and find your own painful answers. Your threads are always a trip to nowhere. Good luck to you. I asked a relevant question Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 (edited) I asked a relevant question You didn’t ask a relevant question. There is no more relevance to your questions because you’ve asked over and over again and posters have tirelessly advised you but you are either obtuse or in very deep denial. If you want answers, go back and read all your threads, under this username and the other usernames you’ve created, with the same story and with the many, many pages of responses. No one can help you anymore. The reason why you can’t ask him how he feels is because you already know the answer. You know your reality. We can’t change that for you. You’re hoping someone will give you words of hope so you recycle your threads and posts, asking the same thing over and over again. It won’t change the nature or the truth of your situation with him. You asked us if he loves you. The answer is a plain and simple - no. And we have explained why in many different ways. And you already know this yourself. Do what you want with it but it still stands, your behavior and thought process is disturbing and unhealthy. The sooner you seek help, the sooner you are able to find self-awareness and work towards rebuilding your self worth/self-esteem. Edited August 17, 2018 by Zahara 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted August 17, 2018 Author Share Posted August 17, 2018 You didn’t ask a relevant question. There is no more relevance to your questions because you’ve asked over and over again and posters have tirelessly advised you but you are either obtuse or in very deep denial. If you want answers, go back and read all your threads, under this username and the other usernames you’ve created, with the same story and with the many, many pages of responses. No one can help you anymore. The reason why you can’t ask him how he feels is because you already know the answer. You know your reality. We can’t change that for you. You’re hoping someone will give you words of hope so you recycle your threads and posts, asking the same thing over and over again. It won’t change the nature or the truth of your situation with him. You asked us if he loves you. The answer is a plain and simple - no. And we have explained why in many different ways. And you already know this yourself. Do what you want with it but it still stands, your behavior and thought process is disturbing and unhealthy. The sooner you seek help, the sooner you are able to find self-awareness and work towards rebuilding your self worth/self-esteem. U still havent answered that when she liked him too then why did he keep me around, giving me priority and kessing his own chance with her by resentful? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 U still havent answered that when she liked him too then why did he keep me around, giving me priority and kessing his own chance with her by resentful? It’s been answered over and over again. I’m sorry but you need help. Please find it. Good luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted August 17, 2018 Author Share Posted August 17, 2018 It’s been answered over and over again. I’m sorry but you need help. Please find it. Good luck to you. No it hasnt. When i asked this, @stillafool did not respond Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 OP: Are you this annoying in real life? It’s not an attractive trait; in fact, many find it off putting. You mentioned the different ethnicity of his crush, and I’m sure your “boyfriend” finds her exotic. I’m putting boyfriend in quotation because I’m not sure if this guy thinks you’re his girlfriend. Are you sure you’re not his fwb?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted August 17, 2018 Author Share Posted August 17, 2018 OP: Are you this annoying in real life? It’s not an attractive trait; in fact, many find it off putting. You mentioned the different ethnicity of his crush, and I’m sure your “boyfriend” finds her exotic. I’m putting boyfriend in quotation because I’m not sure if this guy thinks you’re his girlfriend. Are you sure you’re not his fwb?? I do think I am not his FWB. Finding exotic doesnt equal to desire when he cant even talk while going out and about with me? Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 I do think I am not his FWB. Finding exotic doesnt equal to desire when he cant even talk while going out and about with me? But what you’ve described is more like a fwb, as the two of you never hang out with either of your friends or family. Has he called you his gf explicitly? You can’t just “think” you’re his gf... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted August 17, 2018 Author Share Posted August 17, 2018 But what you’ve described is more like a fwb, as the two of you never hang out with either of your friends or family. Has he called you his gf explicitly? You can’t just “think” you’re his gf... I already wrote we have a large group of mutual friends and we hang out with them. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 I already wrote we have a large group of mutual friends and we hang out with them. You also mentioned he never joins your mutual friends gatherings. Has he involved you with his own friends or family? So I take it that he never calls you his gf. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah22 Posted August 17, 2018 Author Share Posted August 17, 2018 You also mentioned he never joins your mutual friends gatherings. Has he involved you with his own friends or family? So I take it that he never calls you his gf. The ones I always hang out with are my flatmates and yes he doesnt come with us. He went to meet my 2 of my close friends on his own as he had not met them in a long time. But doesnt come with when we hang out. I know ALL his friends as we ARE MUTUAL friends No as our families live in our respective countries. His younger brothers gf is in his dad's FB but i havent sent him a req Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts