Willow Woman Posted August 14, 2018 Share Posted August 14, 2018 Good Morning! October of 2017 I posted here for the first time about my long term affair with a lot of details I will not bore you with. The AP stopped contacting me at the end of October without any reason and we had been in this A for 11 years. I finally called him at his work and he answered and said I will call you. He didn't of course so I was so depressed and coming off the "addiction" I needed to do something before I went totally crazy. I found a Christian based 12 step support group and am almost completely healed. This support group helped me to tell him to NO in January when he did contact me trying to start everything again like nothing had happened. It also helped me to tell him NO again in February when he tried again but this time I sent him the words to the song Praying by Kesha and he got the hint. I have not heard from him for 6 months. My problem is I still feel guilty. I still think about everything. The other problem is his birthday is next week and I need to do everything in my power to not contact him. I have done so well. I will contact my sponsor on that day and distract myself. For all of you that are still suffering. Find a support group and work the steps. It really does help but you still have to have self control and a lot of inner fortitude to break an addiction to love. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Willow Woman Posted August 15, 2018 Author Share Posted August 15, 2018 (edited) I have been working with a sponsor and I am making LIVING AMENDS to my husband and I made a promise to GOD that I will no longer continue the behavior that I was in. I have kept my promise and will for the rest of my life. According to 12 step principals, you DO NOT make amends if it would cause harm to an individual. I posted to give people hope that they can end affairs and become better people. I did not expect hatred and meaness. Edited August 16, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redacted due to thread jack ~ V Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 (edited) I have been working with a sponsor and I am making LIVING AMENDS to my husband and I made a promise to GOD that I will no longer continue the behavior that I was in. I have kept my promise and will for the rest of my life. According to 12 step principals, you DO NOT make amends if it would cause harm to an individual. I posted to give people hope that they can end affairs and become better people. I did not expect hatred and meaness. [] Listen, telling your husband isnt the source of his pain, the cheating for a decade is the cause of the pain. Telling him is giving him the opportunity to decide what he wants in life. Any therapy or program that promotes dishonesty isnt a therapy or program worth being involved in. With that being said, dont lose sight of the progress you are making, Edited August 16, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edited for clarity ~ V Argumentative content redacted ~W Link to post Share on other sites
grass-hopper Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 Willow woman. Let’s not lose sight here that you are doing and feeling better. And that is great news that you came to share with others that are suffering from the same pain you have suffered. You seemed to have come back to give hope and insight to others and instead you were take down. We all have our cross to bear. After all, we are here on this site. Something awful in our lives brought us here. And how horrible is it that people are here to tear her down. I know that the things we have done to others and to ourselves being involved in affairs deserve some backlash and a little reality. After all we are not victims here. But a little humanity and understanding isn’t a bad thing. Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 Willow woman. Let’s not lose sight here that you are doing and feeling better. And that is great news that you came to share with others that are suffering from the same pain you have suffered. You seemed to have come back to give hope and insight to others and instead you were take down. We all have our cross to bear. After all, we are here on this site. Something awful in our lives brought us here. And how horrible is it that people are here to tear her down. I know that the things we have done to others and to ourselves being involved in affairs deserve some backlash and a little reality. After all we are not victims here. But a little humanity and understanding isn’t a bad thing. Good point. Yet, when you see the same people coasting through and convincing themselves that they are working hard is very common here. Changing requires taking steps to do so, looking for reasons why you cant isnt progress. Too often people get stuck. It's like saying I use to rob banks but now I'm doing great because I'm only robbing liquor stores. Link to post Share on other sites
Victoria Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 (edited) Under Moderation review, temporarily closing. Update - Review complete. If the OP would like this thread re-opened, please contact moderation. Edited August 16, 2018 by Victoria Updated ~ V Link to post Share on other sites
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