Sofy Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 I have to blame movies and tv about my high expectations in men.. I try to do my best at searching for the one but I always end up unsatisfied about men.. Am I the problem? I've been more than a year with this boy, he is my neighboor, he is 33 and I'm 21, he is this very mature and independent man, works a lot and always try to make things right.. he loves me and he tecnically shows it but he never says it. I'm afraid of sounding like this needy girlfriend who always want attention.. but sometimes I wonder if I really want to be with him forever.. I am like everyone, trying to find the love of my life and always keep him, Im not very cheesy but I really love to show my feelings to my loved ones like most of the people.. long story short: He has never introduced me to his family, I have never went to his house cause he likes to keep his family out of the picture, he is the kind that never takes girlfriends to meet his family and I just HATE that... I hate to mention this but I had a previous relationship that was a little bit abusive and I had to drop, where my ex take me to meet his parents and they where the best ppl ever, we used to have dinner and talk and laugh about whatever, I really loved that. I know a relationship its just a boy and a girl but the family really matters to me, I mean thats what we all want, to be part of that group of people who loves each other right? And now this other thing.. He is very cold with me, he never compliments me or laugh with me, he complaints l the time about things, he tells me how to be a better person but in a "disapointed father" way and sometimes he makes me cry cause I really really love him and I try hard to be nice for him, and do all those thins that he wants me to improve (like being on time, acting mature, dressing my age) We havent had sex in months, he says im skinny now and when I hug him or just stare at him he doesent seem to care, altough he tells me everyday he loves me but only by the phone.. I know all these things might be problems for the age gap but Im worried about being this girl who always expects too much about somebody who is just being himself. Thats what he tells me always "you deserve a better boyfriend" "Im always gonna be like this" I love him a lot, I know he loves me too but he is very cold with me. Maybe I just can never be happy about something... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sofy Posted August 15, 2018 Author Share Posted August 15, 2018 Sorry for the long post and my terrible english, it's not my native language.. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 For starters your only 21 , relax you have so far to go and will change 100 times. The bf , he shouldn't be cold to you , no one that loves someone is normally cold to them so things bugging you are probably pretty close to right. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 You are convenient. If your needs are not getting fulfilled date somebody else. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 I hate to mention this but I had a previous relationship that was a little bit abusive and I had to drop Somewhat makes sense because you're allowing yourself to be similarly exploited here. You're not a girlfriend, you're a side piece, even more convenient because you're right next door. Dump this chump, you deserve better. And your English is fine ... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 Your expectations are quite realistic. Dump this guy and find someone who will allow you into his life and love. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 Indeed. No man should make you cry... that’s not love. I’m sorry to say, you’ve found yourself in another emotionally abusive relationship. You are young and you’ve had two bad experiences with men. I would suggest that you spend some time NOT in a relationship - develop your own sense of self and develop your confidence. Then, you will not allow men to treat you badly anymore... Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 I think your expectations are way too low. This guy is not good boyfriend material, even he is willing to admit that, so why stay with him? You should be enjoying your early twenties and having fun, not being lectured about how to behave like a woman ten years older than yourself. A man who makes you cry, isn't interested in sex and feel bad about yourself is not the right guy for you. Family is clearly important to you, so you need to find a guy who has similar values. That should be a non negotiable for you. This guy doesn't fit that description. My advise would be to end this relationship sooner rather than later. You can do so much better. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts