Fair Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 And so the question arises. Your SO is giving indications he's attracted to your sibling. If you hate your siblings this is like a betrayal in my opinion. But where do you put your foot down if nothing is being acted upon (yet) no matter how good or bad relations are between you and your sibling, and your SO also has feelings for you? My question is: Do most people anticipate a possible attraction arising in their SO for a sibling... and if so, is it overlooked, tolerated.... or once sensed, is it grounds for a break up? Who of you have experienced this and how did you handle it? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 Goodness no, I would never expect it. And, if my SO ever made it known that he had an attraction to my sibling (whether he acted upon this attraction or not) it would be immediate grounds for his dismissal... Adios amigo. Don't let the door hit you on the way out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fair Posted August 16, 2018 Author Share Posted August 16, 2018 What if he loves you? Or you think he does? How anyway do you put blinders on people? Maybe you'd be throwing the baby out with the bathwater? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 What if he loves you? If he loved me, he wouldn’t be looking at my sister in that way... Sure, he may notice that she is pretty... but, if he tells me that he is attracted to her and I think he is considering acting upon that attraction - that’s a dealbreaker for me. That is a guy who has poor boundaries and is not to be trusted. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 Ick. Get rid of him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 My sibling and I are drastically different. I can't imagine anyone being into both of us. I'd assume I was being used as a gateway and break up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 What if he loves you? Or you think he does? How anyway do you put blinders on people? Expecting common decency and consideration from someone isn't putting "blinders on people". What's next, he's attracted to your teenage daughter? Not a keeper... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 (edited) If you hate your sibling, how has it happened that he's spending enough time with her to show attraction? What is he doing which makes you wary? I'm assuming this is the same guy who has ED, insecurity issues and anxiety....do you really think anything is going to happen between them? Edited August 16, 2018 by basil67 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 I'm an only child so I can only answer about how I felt about SOs siblings Looking back I can only pinpoint 3 relationships including my present marriage where my SOs had brothers. While the brothers have good qualities I always thought my SO was the better catch. My BIL is taller then my husband but otherwise he's a trainwreck so there is no danger I'd ever go there. In college I was a jerk & when I fought with some guy I'd been dating for a few weeks, I actually made a play for his twin brother to piss him off. The twin was mad at him too for something else so we went on a couple of dates but you really can't sustain a relationship off the idea that the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Although I don't have siblings, if my SO made a pass or I thought they were even thinking about hitting on my sister, I'd drop them for having lousy morals. That presumes my sibling was not trying to take something that was mine out of spite or jealousy but in the end you generally have to find a way to make peace with blood relatives. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fair Posted August 17, 2018 Author Share Posted August 17, 2018 If you hate your sibling, how has it happened that he's spending enough time with her to show attraction? What is he doing which makes you wary? I'm assuming this is the same guy who has ED, insecurity issues and anxiety....do you really think anything is going to happen between them? Not the same guy. This was an ex from some time ago who has recently come back around and wants to get back together. I can't forgive and forget, however. Tried to forgive him but... no. Awfully hard to find a decent man. Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 Your SO is giving indications he's attracted to your sibling.Can you elaborate on the indications?My question is: Do most people anticipate a possible attraction arising in their SO for a sibling... and if so, is it overlooked, tolerated.... or once sensed, is it grounds for a break up?I expect that some women I date will find certain features of my brothers more attractive (older brother is more muscular, younger brother has a nicer face). However, there is a certain line that shouldn't be crossed. I'm not exactly sure where that line is though.Who of you have experienced this and how did you handle it?While this doesn't exactly match your situation, it's my closest experience from the other side. I had been on several dates with a woman. At the end of the last date, she told me that while she enjoyed my company, she just wasn't into me sexually (we had not yet had sex). I had planned to take her to a concert, but after her revelation, I decided to take someone else. Her sister expressed interest in going to the concert and I ended up taking her. We had a blast and ended up in bed. The original woman I went on several dates with was furious when she found out. As far as I'm concerned I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't express interest in the sister at all until the original woman expressed her disinterest in me. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 Any man worth having will make a point to not show any attraction he might have for any other ladies around when he is trying to get with you or is actually with you. This is especially true if the attractive person in question is your sibling. I think you should ask yourself why this guy was unwilling to show restraint around your sister if he truly cared for you. Right. He can't help it if he is attracted, but what was he doing that indicated it? Drooling, flirting? Stating it? This is so wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
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