Have you ever broke up with someone because you thought they’d never change and then

[Lightly]

Have you ever broke up with someone because you thought they’d never change or you thought the relationship was at a stand still .... only months later for them to prove you wrong ?

 

Post your stories because I’m in that situation

[ExpatInItaly]

Honestly? No.

 

I have broken up with guys who were fine, but we weren't a match. So, I wasn't hoping to expecting them to change anything.

 

But the two whom I'd hoped would change never did, to the best of my knowledge.

[basil67]

Ex husband. He promised all kinds of change after I left and did show improvement. But I didn't believe it would last, and I was right. Honestly, if you have to get to the point of leaving to get them to make changes, it doesn't bode well for the future.

[Lightly]

Well in my situation i was impatient now that i think about it and looking at this person now makes me wonder what would’ve happened if i waited... i assumed i could do better/left

 

I was selfish and didn’t really let my partner get themselves together, we broke up because i wasn’t getting what i wanted and i felt my partner wasn’t taking the proper steps to do anything about it

Edited August 16, 2018 by Lightly

[Gaeta]

I was married 15 years with a chain smoker. I begged him for years to stop smoking or to at least not smoke in the car or the house! I hit a wall all those years. The year I left he stopped smoking and never smoked again.

[d0nnivain]

I lived with a guy for 10 years. He never wanted to travel, go to NYC, be sociable or do anything cultural. About 2 years after we broke up I found out he was doing all those things. However one fundamental never changed, he still doesn't believe in marriage. We have been apart for over 17 years & he's still living in our same apartment, not married & still thinks marriage is "just a piece of paper."

[mortensorchid]

I myself have been dumped so many times I can't even count them anymore, so no I have never broken up with someone and then seen a change in them. But yes, I did see changes in them afterward, or just heard about them.

 

One said he was unable to make a commitment (via email I would like to add) because the Lord had told him this and his former gf broke up with him years ago because he was a bad person. When I told him that she married another man he exploded in anger at me and how dare I keep this secret from him and he was going to get her back now, etc. I think he showed up at her wedding. And a year later he married another woman and he's still married to her. I couldn't imagine the misery he must put her through.

 

Another? He was quite miserably emotionally and verbally abusive to me when he broke it off and told me he didn't want kids, I was crazy for wanting to go to California for an event, etc. Barely a year later, he rebounded and married a woman with two children - one from each previous marriage. He was off going to California at least once that I know of because she wanted to go there. And she took off and moved to North Carolina to spend more time with her daughter who was living down there. And he was sitting at home, supporting her, supporting her kids, paying for her daughter's education, and probably her lover in some ways as well. After three years of no doubt quite a bit of drama she divorced him, married her lover the day after the divorce was final (making him husband #4), and barely nine months later divorced husband #4.

 

So yes, people do change.

[hippychick3]

Ex husband. He promised all kinds of change after I left and did show improvement. But I didn't believe it would last, and I was right. Honestly, if you have to get to the point of leaving to get them to make changes, it doesn't bode well for the future.

 

Mine too when were dating in college. The changes were all temporary. We ultimately ended up divorced (yes, I was stupid enough to marry him anyway) for the same issues that made me break up with him the first time.

[smackie9]

Can't say that I have...it was the opposite for me....they got worse.