WOMEN how do you feel about [being cold approached]??

[Curious-One]

You are out and about maybe waiting for a train, shopping for groceries, or in the park. (clubs and bars dont count)

 

How do you feel about a guy coming to you and starting a conversation?

 

Do you prefer him go direct with something like

"Hey i saw you and thought you were cute i had to say hi"

 

or Indirect where he comes and starts a random conversation with you , speaks to you for a while and goes for the number ?

 

 

Also share your experiences how often do you get cold approached and did you ever end up dating someone like that.

[ExpatInItaly]

You are out and about maybe waiting for a train, shopping for groceries, or in the park. (clubs and bars dont count)

 

How do you feel about a guy coming to you and starting a conversation?

 

Do you prefer him go direct with something like

"Hey i saw you and thought you were cute i had to say hi"

 

or Indirect where he comes and starts a random conversation with you , speaks to you for a while and goes for the number ?

 

 

Also share your experiences how often do you get cold approached and did you ever end up dating someone like that.

 

No, that will send me running in the opposite direction. Do not comment on a woman's looks the first time you speak to her; it gives an impression you don't want to create. I have been approached like that before, and I shut it right down. You might be a lovely and decent guy, but a strange man approaching me by telling me he thinks I'm attractive is going to have me thinking "creep."

 

You stand a better chance by striking up a conversation related to whatever is happening in that moment (another train delay, the dog she's walking, and so on) and take it from there. Feel her out and see is she responsive and engaging.

 

Personally, when I was single, I didn't like the cold approach and generally don't engage in chats with strange men. That's just my personality, but I know plenty of women who are open to it and enjoy it. You'll know pretty quickly which type of woman you're talking to. And yes, I have a couple friends who wound up dating men they met in this way.

[basil67]

I smile, and give a couple of one word answers before escaping in the other direction.

[FMW]

Not all women are the same, obviously

 

I would definitely NOT say anything about finding a woman attractive when you strike up a conversation with her out of the blue. I would find that a little creepy, or at the very least it would put me on alert, and not in a good way.

 

I would have no problems with a man I don't know striking up a conversation with me, it happens on a regular basis. Probably because I tend to smile at people without even thinking about it which naturally leads to interaction. I have conversations with strangers, women and men, almost every time I am out in public for any amount of time. My mother is a very outgoing person and I grew up seeing it as a normal thing.

 

So I guess my suggestion in starting conversations would be to "read" the situation and look for signs the woman is receptive to interaction in general.

[brigit87]

You are out and about maybe waiting for a train, shopping for groceries, or in the park. (clubs and bars dont count)

 

How do you feel about a guy coming to you and starting a conversation?

 

Do you prefer him go direct with something like

"Hey i saw you and thought you were cute i had to say hi"

 

or Indirect where he comes and starts a random conversation with you , speaks to you for a while and goes for the number ?

 

 

Also share your experiences how often do you get cold approached and did you ever end up dating someone like that.

 

It depends how attractive he is.

 

What a very good looking man could get away with a less attractive man couldn't.

[Gretchen12]

Only random conversation is non creepy. I have gone out with men that approached me in public. If you're thinking of cold approaching women, I have a tip for you: don't stare then approach. Just approach quickly. There's a certain type of stare before the approach that's so creepy. I don't even think those men know they're doing it.

[guest569]

I like the way you put 'WOMEN' in all capitals. Generally, you will get mainly men responding to this and telling us all how women feel and what we want.

 

You can at least pretend that you are genuinely interested in her as a human being. If you're both idle then I think it can work. If she is busy going about her commute/errands then you might come across as a pest.

[JuneL]

I used to get hit on all the time (well I think most women have that kind of experience), and I just thought those guys were too forward for my taste

[kendahke]

Do you prefer him go direct with something like

"Hey i saw you and thought you were cute i had to say hi"

 

At my age, that would creep me out.

 

or Indirect where he comes and starts a random conversation with you , speaks to you for a while and goes for the number ?

 

Indirect, but I'm not giving out my number to a stranger.

[bathtub-row]

I think it’s very charming. However, if you’re going to talk about her looks, be sure you can pull that off. I think it’s best to just strike up a casual conversation.

 

I once had the funniest thing happen in a grocery store check out. The guy standing behind me was with his young son. The man said to me, “Do I know you?” I told him I didn’t think so and we pondered that for awhile. His son looked at him quite seriously and said, “Dad, maybe it was in your dreams!” Dad looked momentarily mortified and then we looked at one another and laughed.

[Eternal Sunshine]

It doesn't happen too often, probably 2-3 times a year. It always creeps me out. I want to a man that is interested in a genuine connection and in me specifically. I don't want someone that's practicing PUA skills and playing the numbers game.

 

 

To be fair though, none of the man that cold approached me were my physical type.

[losangelena]

I immediately start doing mental calculus when a man approaches me in public. "Is this genuinely just idle chatter? Does he want my number? Is he trying to stuff me into a van somewhere?" My base assumption is that generally, a guy like that is approaching because he just wants to get laid. I haven't been wrong yet.

 

As everyone else has stated, a casual conversation is better. A lead off comment about her looks, and mostly she'll be on the defensive. Bad way to start.

 

Years ago, I had the best meet cute. I was at Target, looking at shoes, and this guy who I'd noticed loitering in the women's eisle, finally came over and said hi. He started off asking for my help in figuring what pair of shoes his 16-year-old cousin would like, and it went from there. We basically had a date in Target. He, too, just wanted to get laid in the end, but I still love that approach story. Great example of what to do to put a woman at ease.

[Noproblem]

No, the second option is better, start a conversation then if we were having a good time, you can ask her for her number.

[d0nnivain]

Another vote for random conversation. Commenting on looks is creepy.

[MountainGirl111]

You are out and about maybe waiting for a train, shopping for groceries, or in the park. (clubs and bars dont count)

 

How do you feel about a guy coming to you and starting a conversation?

 

Do you prefer him go direct with something like

"Hey i saw you and thought you were cute i had to say hi"

 

or Indirect where he comes and starts a random conversation with you , speaks to you for a while and goes for the number ?

 

 

Also share your experiences how often do you get cold approached and did you ever end up dating someone like that.

 

Depends on what kind of mood I'm in. If I want to be alone, I don't want to talk to anyone really male or female. I don't mind when guys strike up a conversation with me. You may or may not ever see them again. I don't take any of it too seriously.

[SevenCity]

I like the way you put 'WOMEN' in all capitals. Generally, you will get mainly men responding to this and telling us all how women feel and what we want.

 

You can at least pretend that you are genuinely interested in her as a human being. If you're both idle then I think it can work. If she is busy going about her commute/errands then you might come across as a pest.

 

A man cannot be “genuinely” interested in a stranger. It’s all about her looks.

 

Cold approach is tough and you will face a lot of rejection. But guys who are good at it pull in mad chicks. I’ve cold approached several times but I typically can’t be bothered.

 

Don’t dismiss PUA techniques as they can and do work. Not on all women, or at least every single female poster here.

 

If a woman finds you attractive you will have a lot more success.

[rightondude]

This is good info and the hit rate of this with loveshack's female audience is close to nil.

[Zapbasket]

This happens to me all the time. When I'm not in a rush or otherwise preoccupied, I'm happy to share banter with people on subway platforms, waiting for a bus, in a bookstore, etc. But unless there's some kind of substantive connection that we discover right away (we know the same person, are both very avid ______, or the person is absolutely hilarious and makes me laugh uproariously at something--something that explicitly alludes to a genuine connection beyond just being in the same public space), for me it's just banter to pass the time. I would never give out my number just because we exchange pleasantries. I would feel put off if I sensed someone approached just because he was hoping to get me to go out with him.

 

That's me, though...and I will say, most of my female friends. Better to approach a woman at a shared activity: at the golf club to which you both belong, etc. Having that immediate shared connection builds trust; you're a stranger but not a *complete* stranger. Beware of approaching women at your gym. I'm there to work out and I'll have to see you every day if it gets awkward.

[basil67]

I earlier said that I'd do one word answers and look for an escape. I now think I should further elaborate. If a guy came up to me and his goal was to express interest, this is how I'd react.

 

However, I am also the kind of person who regularly chats with strangers when out. Now if the conversation was a random one which started organically and we found we conversed easily, my response would be far more open.

[Shining One]

I'm not a woman, but I'll share some thoughts from a friend many years ago. She used to be very overweight in her teens and early twenties. She often lamented to me about how men never cold approached her like they did to her friends. As a college graduation present, her parents got her liposuction and various other cosmetic treatments. She then received a lot of attention from men and started complaining about men cold approaching her.

[mortensorchid]

It would depend on the situation and what kind of mood I was caught in at the moment. I might be a bit on the hostile side if someone did that in front of people, I would want them to do it if I were more isolated where others can hear it. But ... If someone did (and I'm trying to think if it has, in fact, happened) I think I would be happy it happened. Doesn't mean it's going to unfold into something but I think I would be happy.

[OatsAndHall]

A man cannot be “genuinely” interested in a stranger. It’s all about her looks.

 

Cold approach is tough and you will face a lot of rejection. But guys who are good at it pull in mad chicks. I’ve cold approached several times but I typically can’t be bothered.

 

Don’t dismiss PUA techniques as they can and do work. Not on all women, or at least every single female poster here.

 

If a woman finds you attractive you will have a lot more success.

 

 

Amen, my friend.

 

 

 

Cold calling isn't a bad way to go about things once you get the hang of it and you don't come across as creepy. Approach, strike up a conversation and see where it goes. This morning, I lined up a date with a cute bank teller by doing so. I've gone into the bank a quite a few times and chatted with her a so I decided to ask her out. We're getting ice cream on Sunday. I get shot down but I'm never creepy (DON'T COMMENT ON THEIR LOOKS) and I'm perfectly polite.

 

 

 

"Hey, this maybe a bit forward but would you like to meet up with me this weekend? Sunday for ice cream at ____?" Done and done. If she had said "No thanks", I would have smiled, thanked her and walked away. No harm, no foul. Honestly, I don't really care if they're offended that I asked them out in a courteous manner because I didn't do anything wrong.

 

 

 

And, it's hard to knock a guy for doing it when we've done OLD and sent out a ton of messages to get two to three dates. With cold-calling, I'd guess I have a 30% success rate.

[rightondude]

This morning, I lined up a date with a cute bank teller by doing so. I've gone into the bank a quite a few times and chatted with her a so I decided to ask her out. We're getting ice cream on Sunday. I get shot down but I'm never creepy (DON'T COMMENT ON THEIR LOOKS) and I'm perfectly polite.

 

Awesome brother. I give you 1000 stars for that. I'm so sick of the online dating life and hope to get to this point. Every woman I want to try it with seems to have a ring, though.

 

Maybe you'll be playing some One on One cause I know you'll wanna play that game tonight!

[guest569]

Told ya. Haha!

[Shining One]

There is currently a thread in the In Search Of section where a woman complains about the lack of men cold approaching her.