WOMEN how do you feel about [being cold approached]??

[OatsAndHall]

Awesome brother. I give you 1000 stars for that. I'm so sick of the online dating life and hope to get to this point. Every woman I want to try it with seems to have a ring, though.

 

Maybe you'll be playing some One on One cause I know you'll wanna play that game tonight!

 

 

Here's my thought process on the whole thing; sending out messages via OLD is basically just cold calling dressed up with technology. I know little to nothing about someone via their profile and a quick text message conversation tells me jack-squat as well. Although I still use OLD at times, cold-calling is always in the cards and they're basically the same friggin' thing.

 

 

 

But, I'm comfortable cold-calling as I've been doing it since high school. When I was in my teens, my buddies and I would go up to the mall, split up, and see how many phone numbers we could get within a few hours. In college, we did the same thing but we went to the bar, to parties, etc..etc..

 

 

 

The approach just has to be nonchalant and pleasant. Don't use pick-up lines, don't comment on their looks; just chat and ask them out. Good Lord, the bank-teller and I were literally talking about the weather before I asked her out. It was a scorcher (100+ degrees), I was wearing my football coaching gear, a conversation sprung up about the team being out in the heat and, before you know it, we've got a date.

 

 

 

I don't know how this date will work out (she might stand me up for all I know) but cold calling took me all of a three minutes to land a date. OLD can take days or even weeks.

[LuckyM]

I am tired of the words hit on and creep.

 

Such downer words have bad connotations.

 

Creep means someone who is sneaky or looks weird?

 

Hit on sounds like assault.

[mrs rubble]

I have had a relationship (of sorts) with a man who struck up a conversation with me while I was out walking the dog (several years ago when I was single). He was a really good looking dude, had the biggest smile and was really funny. I agreed to see him again, we went on walks together and had drinks together. It didn't take me long to figure out he's absolutely nuts! He makes bizarre noises/sound effects, and if you take him somewhere in your car he'll hang out the window and entertain the pedestrians you pass......so yeah, no romance was going to come of that!!

He still turns up at my house on the odd occasion, my husband had to tell him off once (he asked me if he could touch my boobs when he was drunk) that still doesn't deter him...he's pretty harmless and quite hilarious.

[amaysngrace]

It's nice and all but I'd rather be left alone. Last guy who came onto me gave me his number and I was like, really?

 

Did he actually think I would call? I don't understand that.

[bathtub-row]

It's nice and all but I'd rather be left alone. Last guy who came onto me gave me his number and I was like, really?

 

Did he actually think I would call? I don't understand that.

 

My ex started pulling that stunt after we divorced. He actually told me about it. I thought it was the lamest thing I had ever heard of and realized that he had truly sunken to a new level. And he was proud of himself for coming up with the idea. Clueless.

[bathtub-row]

The thing is, I think guys are looking for a formula to use across the board and there just isn’t one. The only consensus seems to be to not talk about a woman’s looks. I think you just need to be genuine and be yourself. And if that doesn’t pan out with one woman, that doesn’t mean it won’t pan out with someone else.

[anika99]

You know when I was in my twenties, before online dating was a thing, lots of people met and stated dating via cold calling so to me it doesn't sound like an odd or horrible thing at all. I dated a few men that I met while I was out and about. Obviously I didn't follow them home the same day I met them but I'd take their number and if I was attracted to them I'd give them a call. Then I would just follow the safety rules when it comes to going on a date with a virtual stranger. Keep the first date light and casual, like a lunch or a coffee so we can get to know each other a bit better and don't give out my address or phone number until I'm confident that he's not a weirdo.

 

I find it almost sad that people don't meet each other like that anymore. It's like everyone is ignoring what is right in front of them so they can go home and shop for dates online. I also vote for not approaching with cheesy compliments about her looks though.

[snowboy91]

Amen, my friend.

 

 

 

Cold calling isn't a bad way to go about things once you get the hang of it and you don't come across as creepy. Approach, strike up a conversation and see where it goes. This morning, I lined up a date with a cute bank teller by doing so. I've gone into the bank a quite a few times and chatted with her a so I decided to ask her out. We're getting ice cream on Sunday. I get shot down but I'm never creepy (DON'T COMMENT ON THEIR LOOKS) and I'm perfectly polite.

 

.

 

To me, this part is the crucial part of the story. You've chatted to her a few times and she's already had a little bit of time to suss you out. By that point you're no longer a "random creep", but "a guy who comes into the bank". So I don't think it's exactly a "cold" approach - but repeated contact in this way really does help the situation.

[max3732]

You know when I was in my twenties, before online dating was a thing, lots of people met and stated dating via cold calling so to me it doesn't sound like an odd or horrible thing at all. I dated a few men that I met while I was out and about. Obviously I didn't follow them home the same day I met them but I'd take their number and if I was attracted to them I'd give them a call. Then I would just follow the safety rules when it comes to going on a date with a virtual stranger. Keep the first date light and casual, like a lunch or a coffee so we can get to know each other a bit better and don't give out my address or phone number until I'm confident that he's not a weirdo.

 

I find it almost sad that people don't meet each other like that anymore. It's like everyone is ignoring what is right in front of them so they can go home and shop for dates online. I also vote for not approaching with cheesy compliments about her looks though.

 

Aside from the opening is there a good closing method to ask for her number or ask her out? I've tried the cold approach at the grocery store and don't know how to finish the conversation.

[alphamale]

Aside from the opening is there a good closing method to ask for her number or ask her out? I've tried the cold approach at the grocery store and don't know how to finish the conversation.

 

just say "I would like to see you again". If she digs you she should offer up her digits or email.

[smackie9]

When I was a teenager a guy cold approached me by asking me if I wanted to smoke a joint lol. Dated him for two years. Now that it's going to be legal here in Canada Oct. 17th this might be a new way to meet someone.

[dream of me]

I'm quite uncool in this kind of situation and would feel uncomfortable. But if he talked to me about something else, making small talk, that would be much better.

[Dodgersfan11]

Depends on the place. If I'm at the grocery store, pumping gas, shopping, parking lot, car wash, home depot, HELL NO. I would run for the hills, I would think to myself, "stranger danger." Or creepy or serial killer or are you gonna rob me? Because I mean, its just not normal to get asked out at those places. Now, if I was at a social setting like at a cafe, bookstore, museum, bars/clubs-thats where I would want to be approached. That may sound weird, but I know there are creeps everywhere, but the type of place means everything.

[Mysterio]

Here is how I see all of this cold call stuff.

 

You see a Romantic prospect as a man. Your attracted to her. Be it On line or real life.

 

On Line is easy. The women are looking for a romantic match. So all you have to do is talk about a topical subject. May be a compliment about their style and leave it like that.

 

Real Life is detective work. You see a woman. I guess you could cold call withougt a repore between you. A mans first thing is to find out if she is single I think that 95% of the women would reject, because its out of the blue. Now if you build a repore and its your 4th time of interacting. Then its a a different story. If you work with them/Gym/Recreational activity. Its a different story. If they are single. It works out better. As long as you pass the looks thing for them. Your in.

 

Each woman is in a different phase of life. The more younger. I think more men hit on you. Older it gets more complicated. The women, due to them wanting kids. You have a woman that has other things going on with them.

 

I actually am trying an experiment now. I am letting the women come to me. Unless that woman is making conversation with me and I sense a warmth there. I am not asking them out.

[somanymistakes]

It's a difficult question because, along with there being no true answer across the board (there is no cheat code to women) it also depends on what I WANT out of the situation.

 

At this moment I'm not interested in a date, I'm not exactly single and my life is really complicated. If all you want from me is a date, then it serves my purposes if you ask me that straight up, so that I can tell you NO straight up, and we can both go on our ways. That's true even if you're super-hot, sorry, although at least then I will be flattered and tell my girlfriends about how this hot guy asked me out.

 

So, given that my answer right now is definitely no, no matter what, I'd rather get to that point quickly so we waste less of our time.

 

But if a guy was able to strike up a conversation with me about a shared interest - maybe you see me holding something related to a band and you like that band and you ask me about them? And after a quick conversation, he gives me not his number but his facebook details? I'll probably look him up. I don't like phoning people I don't know very well, so I'd never call him if he just gave me his number.

[Els]

 

Do you prefer him go direct with something like

"Hey i saw you and thought you were cute i had to say hi"

 

 

:sick: HELL no. Creepy AF. I'd get the hell out of there stat, if anyone tried that. (And I'd get security to walk me to my car.)

 

 

 

or Indirect where he comes and starts a random conversation with you , speaks to you for a while and goes for the number ?

 

 

This is fine, as long as he responds appropriately when he finds out that I'm in a relationship.

 

 

 

 

Also share your experiences how often do you get cold approached and did you ever end up dating someone like that.

 

 

Doesn't happen often (I don't think it's common in the places I've lived in), but generally they just strike up conversation, find out that I'm not single, and graciously bow out. It's all good.

[Prudence V]

You are out and about maybe waiting for a train, shopping for groceries, or in the park. (clubs and bars dont count)

 

How do you feel about a guy coming to you and starting a conversation?

 

Do you prefer him go direct with something like

"Hey i saw you and thought you were cute i had to say hi"

 

At least this guy is being honest about his intentions.

 

But still no. Any man who feels *compelled* to act a certain way (“I had to...” ) based on how a woman looks / acts / dresses /etc is on a slippery slope to rape culture. (“I had to... because she was drunk / dressed like a skank / etc”).

 

Nope, you didn’t have to. You chose to. Ups to you for being honest rather than hiding your rapey intentions behind fake interest in the weather / my dog / my book but I prefer men I choose, not men who choose me. I’m not a product on a shop shelf.

 

or Indirect where he comes and starts a random conversation with you , speaks to you for a while and goes for the number ?

 

Random conversations don’t engage me unless I’m willing to be engaged. And even then, if I give you a number it won’t be mine.

 

 

Also share your experiences how often do you get cold approached and did you ever end up dating someone like that.

 

I still get hit on far too often, despite the obvious signs of lack of interest. No, I have never ended up dating anyone like that. I prefer to do my research before I approach someone. Someone hitting on me gets nowhere.

[dranoel]

I don't mind being approached if I'm not in a rush or in a **** mood. It can be flattering. And I would prefer he strike up a fun, engaging conversation before asking for the number or giving compliments.

[glows]

Flattered but not amused.

I'm happily married and very much in love with my husband.

 

Then I'd probably ask the poor man if he needs some dating advice.