My boyfriend wants to move in but keep his place too

[BaileyB]

Vintage, he's not a good candidate to be a father to your children. You seem to be a smart, independent secure woman. I know you can do what needs to be done. Rip the band-aid. You and your children deserve better.

 

Agreed.

 

10 characters

[bene]

He has a very bad temper and can not often control it. It's just too much to take. It's very hard.

 

Do you think moving in with you and your kids will somehow change this? You seem to be certain that if only he would take this step everything would be OK. You might face a whole different set of problems when it turns out that he’s not cut out for everyday family life. It might actually be wise on his part to avoid it because he knows he can’t or doesn’t want to handle it. The arbitrary deadlines etc are just to postpone what he already knows. It’s not fair to you and the kids but that’s the way it is.

 

After so many years you should be able to put the cards on the table and have an honest conversation about it though. I’m afraid you’re waiting for something that isn’t going to happen. Or maybe you could reevaluate your expectations and just continue dating and keeping separate households.

Edited August 26, 2018 by bene

[Chilli]

First up , shyt , you sound like an extremely accurate person , as you said to someone.

How the hell do you come up with a number and name like that for ahh , awake time, do they have awake time now, yikes.

The moving thing , hate to say but he is only half into it , your suspicions are spot on.No wonder ot's been 5yrs.

Seeing more now it's pretty obvious his friends and he's other life he wants to keep at least as well but l'd say maybe even a bit more priority to him than you guys living together.

 

The bad mouthing , that's just plain not on for me, though sadly pretty common in couples. Unless you are a real pain in the ass haha, like my brother he does bad mouth his gf a bit but she is a psycho quite frankly and gives him hell, she deserves it, still no one knows why they're even still together.

But never the less

[Mr. Lucky]

He also has a problem of bad mouthing me to his family and friends anytime we have a disagreement. Literally anytime. Today his sister in law (or baby mama in law as they aren't married) shared she had to de-friend me due to her boyfriends request because my boyfriend said things about me to his brothers. Which were very inflated to make himself look good. He has a very bad temper and can not often control it. It's just too much to take. It's very hard.

 

Now you share this? And this is the relationship model you want your kids exposed to full time?

 

Oy!

 

Mr. Lucky

[vintagesangria]

Vintage, he's not a good candidate to be a father to your children. You seem to be a smart, independent secure woman. I know you can do what needs to be done. Rip the band-aid. You and your children deserve better.

 

I did. I told him it was time to move on. He has called me but his tag line is "I'm sorry but you...." He has only said sorry ever twice. Once was when he went on a date after a year together. Then he later tried to take that back. I just told him that I am done. That he wants to split up so instead of me trying to solve everything and take the blame- I just said yes. Ok. We are done. It feels like a HUGE relief.

[Redhead14]

I did. I told him it was time to move on. He has called me but his tag line is "I'm sorry but you...." He has only said sorry ever twice. Once was when he went on a date after a year together. Then he later tried to take that back. I just told him that I am done. That he wants to split up so instead of me trying to solve everything and take the blame- I just said yes. Ok. We are done. It feels like a HUGE relief.

 

 

It feels like a HUGE relief -- That says a lot, Vintage. I bet this was overdue.

 

"I'm sorry but you...." -- And, that says volumes too. I'm sorry you've had to hear that twice in this relationship.

 

Do yourself a big favor, block him and delete his number. If he has things at your house, pack them up and send them UPS. Send a couple of small boxes if necessary.

 

Keep on keepin' on. You're gonna be just fine!

[BaileyB]

I'm sorry.

 

It sounds like a huge relief. All those years of waiting and worrying... You don't have to wait or worry about him anymore. It will hurt for a while but you will be fine.

 

I hope someday you find a guy who wants to be your partner in life. Don't settle for anything less.