Rxwoman Posted August 18, 2018 Share Posted August 18, 2018 (edited) Hi, I want to ask everyone to give me their take on this. A guy has an ex-gf he has stayed good platonic friends with. Then the guy gets married to the love of his life. Facebook lights up with likes and congratulations of family and friends. Except for the ex-gf ( who is on the friends list of both). A few weeks later the guy texts family and friends Happy Easter including the ex-gf. She texts back " Happy Easter to you too." And then " Oh, wow. Ive been soo busy with my own stuff I completely forgot you guys got married! Belated congrats." No one believes for one second that she forgot. So here's my question: Why the pretense at "..completely forgot.." Why would she play games? Thank you. Edited August 18, 2018 by Rxwoman Typo Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 18, 2018 Share Posted August 18, 2018 (edited) Because, even though your relationship has ended and you have been able to maintain a friendship, it’s hard to see someone else get something that you want - particulary when she probably once thought your wedding day and happy future would be with her... Is she married? That would make it especially hard, if she has not found the love of her life and her happily ever after... She is trying to save face, to pretend like she is not hurt and it doesn’t matter... She is not playing games, it is probably self protection. Give her this kindness. Just thank her for her well wishes and wish her the same. Edited to add... this is a little more complicated than you would lead us to believe. You posting history indicates that this has been an ongoing issue - you were married a year ago and there has been some flirting going on between your new husband and his ex girlfriend that has you concerned about whether he is trustworthy, or not. Can I ask, one year into your marriage - why are you still asking the same question? Have they continued to give you reason not to trust them? https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/635701-husband-his-ex-each-other-s-back-up-plans Edited August 18, 2018 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rxwoman Posted August 18, 2018 Author Share Posted August 18, 2018 Hi. Lol. I forgot about those previous questions. No, there hasnt really been much continued flirting. We were packed up to move out of state at the end of this month and I was dreading the trip to get the stored stuff of his still in her garage. However we put those plans on hold because he was just diagnosed with late stage lung cancer and the VA here is far superior to the one out of state. Ive been doing quite a bit of thinking and questioning( about many things ) and maybe this was an easier issue to deal with, or I was looking for a different answer. Idk. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 18, 2018 Share Posted August 18, 2018 I’m so sorry. I hope that he does well with treatment. I wish you both strength and comfort as you fight this new battle. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rxwoman Posted August 18, 2018 Author Share Posted August 18, 2018 Thank you for the good wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted August 18, 2018 Share Posted August 18, 2018 However we put those plans on hold because he was just diagnosed with late stage lung cancer and the VA here is far superior to the one out of state. What? That is awful, I'm so sorry to hear that. Hope that he beats it and feels better soon. About the text, I personally don't see anything negative or insincere. maybe she is being truthful, or she might not have wanted to say anything but then felt the need given that he contacted her. If I were her I probably wouldn't be inclined to like or comment on it either as it's just awkward, being the ex girlfriend. I don't see how it is game playing for her to refuse to gush over your wedding. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 18, 2018 Share Posted August 18, 2018 Her belated congratulations are better than her trying to break you up. Stop putting much stock in what she does on social media. You have much bigger fish to fry with the new diagnosis. Best wishes as you work through that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rxwoman Posted August 19, 2018 Author Share Posted August 19, 2018 Thank you everyone. I don't know why I am rehashing this issue. He hasn't continued to be flirty with her and hasn't spoken to her much this summer. I admit it has always stuck in my craw that he never seemed to see her jealous, petty side or acknowledged that she did indeed attempt to drive a wedge between us. She tried to lure him away and failed. Maybe I would rather deal with a foe I know I can defeat easily than the one that just reared her ugly head? ? Again, thanks for listening. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts