Next steps for me

[Naturalpeace12]

Hello everyone.. posted here before about how my ex broke up with me after 5 years. Its been 4.5 months now 3 months of NC. After one month she got with another guy. Its all good i feel that for me the hardest part is behind me and im able To enjoy thing again. After i got dumped i quited smoking cigarettes and weed wich we where both doing every day. And going To the gym 5 times a week. Got in contact with old friends and doing stuff with them more and more. Cleansed my whole life thrown EVERYTHING away that reminds me of her. Reading a lot lately. Just working on myself and leveling up.

 

So far so good. But now i still find myself thinking a lot about her trough the whole day. Thoughts about the past and visualizing situations in my head. I think its part of the process cause i keep visualizing how bad she was for me haha. Couple of weeks ago i bumped into her best friend and she was a little shocked how good i looked now( got a haircut and a tan, got swole from fitness and looked fitter cuase i stopped smoking) was wearing a tanktophaha she Saïd it like 4 times in our conversation. Basicly we dodged the subject a little and talked about how i changed and told her i was doing good and feeling well. She basicly followed me for 30 mins into stores and we just hanged out at the mall. I was aware this was a interogation so i showed her my best.. caught my ex listening To my youtube playlists daily. ( she is the only one who know my profile) and last time i was at work and was getting goods from a truck that was parked on the road and there she was waiting in the car one meter away from me on the moment she could pass. I actualy was on top of my game that day new outfit and all looking so mu h better since the last time she saw me. I ignored her just act like she wasnt there and talked and laughed about random stuff with co workers. Last week i was at work standing outside a car and she passed by again.(in her defence she lives 2 min from where i work) but she an easily choose another route she knows im there at that time of day. Anyway these things dont really phase me but i do notice them and dont really know what To think about it.

 

Why i tell all this? I actualy feel good about myself now but I want To take the next step in my process and stop dwelling on the past in my head all day. Trying to really get over it and have Total peace with the situation. Deep down inside there is still love for her but thats fine i think i have peace of mind about the fact that she is with another dude now. Are there any tips or tricks To take the next step and get her out of my head for real? I gotta keep my focus on the present time i know but the dwelling happens automaticly. Just wanna move on with my life in a positive way. Thanks in advance

[vla1120]

Just keep remembering the fact that the reason you look and feel so good now is because you are taking care of YOU and putting yourself first, not dwelling on her.

 

I admire you. I need to get to this point in my situation. I literally just posted a thread about how I am not coping very well, not eating right, stopped exercising, etc. I could take a lesson from you.

 

If you keep putting yourself first, the rest will fall into place because, in your heart, you KNOW she is not the best thing for you. Remember you are in a better place now and open yourself up for new experiences and meeting new people. Those feelings will take care of themselves in time. I hope I can follow your lead and get my act together!!

[FMW]

You're doing great, just keep it up!

 

Try to redirect your thoughts quickly when they land on her, it will get easier with practice. It sucks, but unfortunately these things just take time.