Feeling numb, empty

[sophiestic]

Hi everyone,

 

It has been 2 years since I was in a long-distance relationship. It was the first time I felt sth deeper for sb. It was like magic when we were together. Eventually, our communication wore off and I put an end although I truly wanted to be with him. I still do. The time passed, he got married and his wife is expecting. I haven't been able to move on.

 

Each time I have an opportunity with someone new, I just throw it away. When my friends introduce me to new guys, I just want to throw up because I feel pressure. I don't want anyone and I feel like it's going to be like this forever. I am not in the mood to do anything other than go to the gym, go to my krav maga practice, take long walks alone or with my sister and spend time alone reading/ listening to music.

 

It has been 2 years. I just feel numb, empty and not in the mood to hang out with people. Have you ever experienced sth similar? What is your advice?

[Springsummer]

All I can say is if you realize the feeling is not mutual, maybe that will help you move on.

 

you see, you are unable to move on, while he got married and going to have kids in just two years. It is not fair! If he had the same feeling as you, he would be like you, unable to accept anyone else and move on.

 

just do what he does, tit for tat.

[FMW]

You are depressed. After 2 years you shouldn't be stuck in place. Good for you that you are physically active and healthy, but emotionally it sounds like you are not in a healthy place.

 

The way to fix that is probably counseling. I don't have experience with that myself but plenty of other posters here do and it seems to be helpful for some.

[d0nnivain]

The fact that you are still grieving after 2 years tells me you feel deeply but maybe too deeply. Some counseling to help you let go & move on may be in order. It's not healthy for you to still be this hung up on a man who has moved on, married & impregnated someone else.

[maxi105]

Ah Q/S, I can understand what you are going through! for some folks its a day or week and they are back to feeling good, for others its 6 months and the pain wears off...but there are those that really feel it hard and just cant seem to shake of the sadness and pain.

 

 

but look, you aer doing all the right things in terms of head clearing, the gym is a great way to get good sleep (even if sometimes it might be broken with endless tears inbetween), but you are keeping your body in good shape and that will help your confidence and fitness and self esteem when the gorgeous you decides to step back into the dating scene...and yes....YOU WILL at some point, I promise.

 

 

one thing that is alos good for the soul is to get away from everything if you can, a day trip, a little weekend away, get into a different environment where no one knows you, you are the unknown person that theya re excited walked through the door of the nightclub (as they are probably tired of seeing the same faces). go and have FUN...that's what doctor maxi prescribes you LOL...no, seriously, get out and explore another town, state or parts of your home that you don't know but are beautiful and will take you away from your feelings.

 

 

you wond have time to mope if you are excited waking up in a motel by the beach, or looking to explore a forest or heading to a local out of town cook out by the bay or something. you'll be in your best clothes with good company feeling excited and chatting, looking on at all those other people enjoying the evening and atmosphere and if you see someone attractive then rather than thinking lets get togethger think, hey there are still handsome guys or gals out there and I feel good just taking their happiness in, they make me feel good and it feels good to be here in a new place enjoying new company, listening to new converstations.

 

 

a trip away will also give you excitement for what you will see, how beautiful other places can be. sure there may be stuff and folks that irritate, but if your on a break the chances are more stull will be happier, fun and build good memories of how you used to be before the split.

 

 

you are still the same person, and I think going away will help you re-discover the old you/ also, if anyone pays you a compliment, it'll reaffirm just how much you haven't lost it and that you to them are still that person that they are interested to klnow.

 

 

I think its time to look forward. forget the potential dates from friends, if that happens it will happen, just concentrate on seeing the old you as other (new people will see you) and that means getting away and giving yourself a chance to emerse in a new place and looking forward to opening yourself out (but safely) with friends in a fun, different space.

 

 

gotta run, time has beaten me now, but I hope this can inspire you to take a break. let us know if you do go off somewhere and if it has openend a door to how good it can feel again.

 

 

the person wasn't right for you, and the pain although tough is telling you that...so dust yourself off and go sparkle in a new place for a night or two...I think it will really healp to heal or start you to healong yourself again. best wishes. maxiXXXX

[Mr. Lucky]

Ah Q/S, I can understand what you are going through! for some folks its a day or week and they are back to feeling good, for others its 6 months and the pain wears off...but there are those that really feel it hard and just cant seem to shake of the sadness and pain.

 

At some point, you have to realize what you're doing is unhealthy. There are those that "can't seem to shake off" lethargy or anger, sadness has no corner on the emotional market. Hopefully, we push ourselves to adjust and grow as people.

 

Your suggestion to travel is a great one, it's amazing what a change in locale can do...

 

Mr. Lucky