The curse of the sweatpants...

[amaysngrace]

Maybe because she's grieving she's doing it to not get you all worked up because she's just not in the mood.

 

Some people wear on the outside what they're feeling on the inside.

[JuneL]

I don't own sweats either. I love lounging outfits and they aren't that expensive and are cute and comfortable. A bath and throw one on with a swipe of lip gloss is cute and comfy. My husband loves it.

 

But some of those lounging outfits also include something like a sweatpant or a yoga pant, no?

[stillafool]

But some of those lounging outfits also include something like a sweatpant or a yoga pant, no?

 

They can, but I like the silky pajama type with pants or shorts. I don't do sweats.

[thefooloftheyear]

I remember back in the days when all mom's and married women wore "house dresses"...They always looked kinda tidy, even when they were tending to the garden...

 

I don't even think you can buy one anymore..

 

Anyway, I get what the OP is saying...All most guys really want out of a woman is someone who's not a nagging pain in the ass, can put herself together and doesn't get fat...Everything else is optional..Just wait until she starts farting in front of him in her sweats, stops shaving her legs and armpits, and puts on a bunch of weight...That does happen pretty often, IME..

 

Most people want to be comfortable...I get the woman's point of view here as well..Especially if she works hard...But...I do know some women that seemingly never looked disheveled and untidy...Even when hanging around the house, they don't completely let go...Heck, I am a guy and even I tend to wear stuff around the house, that while may be comfortable. isn't necessarily untidy or ill fitting..

 

So, I can see how this may affect attraction for the OP...I just don't have a good answer...If you say something, she may get mad, upset or offended..I think you have what she is/desires...If it was important, she'd do something about it..

 

Good luck

 

TFY

[JuneL]

They can, but I like the silky pajama type with pants or shorts. I don't do sweats.

 

Personally I would think cute leggings/yoga pants (not sweatpants) and a cute t-shirt shows a woman’s fit figure better.

[Els]

Ok, I never said that she needed to be in a sexy outfit just hanging out around the house... I just wouldn't mind if maybe 2 days a week she put real clothes on. Even just leggings and a t-shirt that isn't 2 sizes too big... It's too the point that she ALWAYS looks like she just rolled out of bed... The lack of a bra doesn't bother me. Like Elswyth, it's preferable. I guess I was more or less trying to convey the "just rolled out of bed" look... She has such a beautiful figure, and I want to see it! But, shes always in sweat pants and t-shirts that are 2 sizes too big...

 

d0nnivain is probably right. I hope so anyway.

 

cleo83, I do make it a point to be extra affectionate and give her a lot of compliments when she does dress nicer. Hopefully that makes some difference.

 

I don't know... Maybe I am an a**hole...

 

 

Look, I think you're making this into a bigger issue than it needs to be. Just take her shopping to a nice loungewear place - there are plenty of shops that sell nice-looking chemises, nighties, tank tops, and form-fitting but comfy pants. Buy her whatever she picks out.

 

For reference, I'm obsessed with comfort and even I don't wear gigantic sweatpants around the house unless it's extremely cold - they're not actually that comfortable because they typically have a thick waistband. Cotton nighties that expose the legs are much more comfy IMO, and also more feminine. It's entirely possible your wife might be open to that, but she just hasn't thought about it yet.

 

What do you wear at home? I also think it's a little bit concerning that you're actually eyeing other women just because of this. Marriage is for life, eventually one of you is going to be in a hospital bed NOT looking sexy at all. It's fine to have preferences and to communicate them, but if you're literally looking at other women solely because she doesn't dress up at home... are you sure there isn't something else going on? FTR, the SO has worn sweatpants at home for years now and it hasn't affected my attraction towards him, nor do I go around eyeing other men.

Edited August 21, 2018 by Elswyth

[Twisted Up]

Great thread. Love it.

 

I have never had a problem with a SO's wearing whatever. I know what they look like under that and feel free to take a peak, take it off them, touch them all over, if I want be reminded. Never really cared about make up either.

 

My wife of 20+ years though is the opposite. She goes to the gym EVERY day. First thing. So within an hour of waking up she is dressed in tight exercise clothes and puts on makeup. Even on the once in a blue moon day she does not go to the gym, its just her habit to put on something that shows off her very excellent figure and make up as well.

 

So my problem is I get home from work, or worse yet, on the weekends, I'm constantly horney. I can't get anything done. I'm all over her with my hands driving us both to distraction. Its maddening.

 

So I love it when sometimes, I get home and she is in her night wear. Usually a loose fitting nightgown. Then we can just relax and watch TV or talk. Talk about something other than sex.

[stillafool]

Personally I would think cute leggings/yoga pants (not sweatpants) and a cute t-shirt shows a woman’s fit figure better.

 

I guess it's all in what you prefer. It's all cute. I'm not really trying to show off my figure I just want to look nice.

[Redhead14]

Give her a reason to dress up. Take her to a nice place. Ask her to wear your favorite outfit. Make sure you tell her you miss seeing her nice legs, etc. Remind her that you find her beautiful. Buy her a nice nighty, something elegant, not trashy Also, look for a couple of nice lounging outfits. Something light and comfortable but not sweat pants. There are lots of nice two-piece casual lounging outfits out there. You don't have to say anything for fear of coming off as a "pig". Show her what you want.

[brigit87]

Personally I would think cute leggings/yoga pants (not sweatpants) and a cute t-shirt shows a woman’s fit figure better.

 

i wear sweatpants ALL THE TIME. I freaking love them. I also wear leggings/yoga pants with small t-shirts. It depends on my mood.

 

At home ppl want to be comfortable.

[JuneL]

Actually I just bought a couple of very casual cute summer dresses that you can both wear at home comfortably and out for errands or other casual activities.

[NomiMalone]

I totally get you OP. I had this same issue with my ex-partner. I felt he stopped making an effort with his clothing and grooming at home towards the end of our relationship, bothering with cologne etc only when we went out with other people. This alone didn't bother me as in my eyes he was still hot regardless of what he wore, but his lack of effort at home extended to other areas, such as conversation. He was the life of the party when we were with friends, but as soon as the guests left, he was uncommunicative and quiet. For me, the overriding issue was I felt he thought other people and strangers were worth the effort, but I was not.

 

Whereas I on the other hand always made an effort to have some make up on, hair straightened, and casually but decently dressed whilst at home - because I thought he was worth the effort.

[Lorenza]

Sounds like your wife might be a bit depressed, which wouldn't be surprising knowing all the stress she/you two went through. Hopefully she gets more motivated when she starts working. It sounds like she's stuck in a loop and seeks comfort.

 

There are ways to be comfortable and look presentable. I wear dresses, lace shorts/yoga pants/tights with tank tops or camisole tops and don't own a single pair of sweat pants or any oversized tshirts. Always quickly fill in my brows, put a light coat of mascara and braid my hair into a French braid. Even when I live alone.

[brigit87]

Sounds like your wife might be a bit depressed, which wouldn't be surprising knowing all the stress she/you two went through. Hopefully she gets more motivated when she starts working. It sounds like she's stuck in a loop and seeks comfort.

 

There are ways to be comfortable and look presentable. I wear dresses, lace shorts/yoga pants/tights with tank tops or camisole tops and don't own a single pair of sweat pants or any oversized tshirts. Always quickly fill in my brows, put a light coat of mascara and braid my hair into a French braid. Even when I live alone.

 

For the record I'm wearing sweatpants now. IDK they look cute. They fit nice. I love makeup but rarely wear it. And I have a huge collection of oversized T-shirts that double as towels for drying my hair (reduces frizz.)

 

I have housework to do today and I just want to be comfortable. If I need to run out I'll throw on a pair of pants.

 

Live is too hard to worry about sweatpants.

[Els]

Sounds like your wife might be a bit depressed, which wouldn't be surprising knowing all the stress she/you two went through. Hopefully she gets more motivated when she starts working. It sounds like she's stuck in a loop and seeks comfort.

 

There are ways to be comfortable and look presentable. I wear dresses, lace shorts/yoga pants/tights with tank tops or camisole tops and don't own a single pair of sweat pants or any oversized tshirts. Always quickly fill in my brows, put a light coat of mascara and braid my hair into a French braid. Even when I live alone.

 

 

There seems to be an uncommonly large % of women here who put on makeup to lounge around at home on a daily basis. While it's entirely your prerogative to do whatever makes you happy, I assure you that it is NOT common, and NOT a reasonable requirement of a partner! I literally do not know one woman who does this. Needing one's partner to wear makeup at home on a regular basis is like needing your man to wear a button-up shirt and tie at home on a regular basis. I'm sure a few men out of the billions in the world do, but it would be a really excessive requirement for a woman to have.

 

I don't think that's even what the OP wants (he seems to just want some occasional effort, which is perfectly fine), but these posts about how everyone apparently wears makeup at home all the time is just really not representative of the average population, lol.

 

I suspect the reason she hasn't put in this effort is because (1) she doesn't know he wants it, and (2) if she's unemployed she might feel guilty about going shopping for nice clothes. But we'll never know unless the OP actually gets back to us.