PRW Posted August 20, 2018 Share Posted August 20, 2018 This question was asked in another thread to the women. So guys, this one if for you. What do you think? Has #metoo made it tougher to date? Ladies, you're welcome to respond but I ask that you let the guys make their statements first,...then you can comment on their points. Let's try to keep it civil 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted August 20, 2018 Share Posted August 20, 2018 Not sure about other guys, but it sure as hell makes dating much harder for Harvey Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 20, 2018 Share Posted August 20, 2018 yes, I haven't asked a woman out since Harvey Weinstein was taken into custody. Link to post Share on other sites
CollegeKid101 Posted August 20, 2018 Share Posted August 20, 2018 This question was asked in another thread to the women. So guys, this one if for you. What do you think? Has #metoo made it tougher to date? Ladies, you're welcome to respond but I ask that you let the guys make their statements first,...then you can comment on their points. Let's try to keep it civil I don't think so at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted August 20, 2018 Share Posted August 20, 2018 No. And why would it. The #meetoo movement is about sexual harassment. It is NOT AT ALL about being respectfully approached in the grocery store or bar or on Match or Tinder. As long as you act appropriately and recognize the signs that she is not interested (and don't pester her for her lack of interest) you should be fine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
rightondude Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 not for me, I don't force women into sex. Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 #metoo is foolishness at this point. People are trying to get their 15 minutes and failing at it. But I digress ... I don't think that will put men at a disadvantage for dating. As long as you remain respectful and polite to women upon a first meeting or interaction you shouldn't have a problem with things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 Crazy question: Why would #metoo interfere with dating? Unless you like to assault and put your hands on women in the workplace without their permission, without being in relationship, without them consenting, while supervising them ... and threatening to fire/not hire them, then metoo isn't a worry. I don't think #metoo even affects the players out there ... Player guys know how to talk and tease and seduce ... and if they touch, it's a gentle enticing tough that allows the woman to express her feedback and interest in going further. Players are all about seduction. The guys getting nailed in by #metoo are guys who know nothing of seduction. I read that New Yorker article on the former Attorney General in New York ... that guy would literally slap women to the point of ear damage ... always after getting trashed ... multiple women say m.o ... and he struck them when the women had clothes on ... and then reminded them that he was the state's top law enforcement officer ... as a threat! ...no kink, just straight-out violence and threat. I read that article and knew he was gone. He resigned within 24 hours. The women just had too many odd and unusual details when describing him ... Due was just a straight-out bully. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 No because I am married and if I were single I would stay away from women who hate men as much as possible. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 No because I am married and if I were single I would stay away from women who hate men as much as possible. I was sexually assaulted in my tweens and early teens by both boys and a 20 something man. Despite #metoo applying to me, I happen to think most men are great. Do you put me in with women who hate men simply because I've been assaulted and speak of it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 I was sexually assaulted in my tweens and early teens by both boys and a 20 something man. Despite #metoo applying to me, I happen to think most men are great. Do you put me in with women who hate men simply because I've been assaulted and speak of it? No. When a woman hates men it is actually hard to tell. There is a vibe you get with them that you can't deny just like with misogynists. Most women can almost smell misogyny on a man and it works the other way around. Men would serve themselves well by avoiding these women unless you must deal with them. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 No. When a woman hates men it is actually hard to tell. There is a vibe you get with them that you can't deny just like with misogynists. Most women can almost smell misogyny on a man and it works the other way around. Men would serve themselves well by avoiding these women unless you must deal with them. I'm not seeking to argue - just to understand your perspective. I can certainly understand why you'd avoid women who hate men - just as I'd avoid men who hate women. Ain't nobody got time for that. But given that many women who've posted about their previous sexual assaults also happen to respect good men, what is it about #metoo which make you more wary now? And to be clear, when I speak of women discussing #metoo, I'm thinking of personal friends who are happily married or dating and enjoying men for all the great things that men can be. Link to post Share on other sites
Desesperado Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 (edited) SoI'm not seeking to argue - just to understand your perspective. I can certainly understand why you'd avoid women who hate men - just as I'd avoid men who hate women. Ain't nobody got time for that. But given that many women who've posted about their previous sexual assaults also happen to respect good men, what is it about #metoo which make you more wary now? And to be clear, when I speak of women discussing #metoo, I'm thinking of personal friends who are happily married or dating and enjoying men for all the great things that men can be. The paradox just like said above, is that it now is much easier to reveal women that to me, resent or are afraid of men and were never assaulted like you. because if talking about metoo, you'll hear some kind of all men are potential aggressors and all women are victims mindset. You know like it's fate and it absolves women from choosing attrocious men and having any responsibility in any of the matter of dating. I'm generalizing for the purpose of making the point easy to get, thank god lots of stable women still remain. I've had too many dates with such "manblamers" one yelling at me for holding the door, because she was capable of that herself being strong and independent, but the free food was great nonetheless for them... So you get warry of such persons, that take this now as an excuse to behave like children and in the most stupid and rude fashion, but it actually makes men's selection easier in a way. It's always the same thing respect is earned, test me with dignity and kindness, I'll gladly return the favor, but if you are aggressive and put all responsibility on men, you're the one who'll be having issues dating ! Edited August 21, 2018 by Desesperado 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author PRW Posted August 21, 2018 Author Share Posted August 21, 2018 (edited) Well I think Desesperado and Woggle have kind of nailed the point I was trying to make in the thread where this question was asked of the women. It isn't the real harassment cases that are the problem for us. Uncle Harvey deserved what he got along with the rest of that bunch that bit the dust. But with the every-day dating with the rest of us normal people there has been a "chilling" effect. I don't just judge this by people in this forum although I am interested in what they say. I also have a life and interact with people, people in singles groups and singles events, I get in conversations with a lot of both men and women,...in real life,...and I ask them these things. The biggest fear men seem to have is having there lives ruined by vindictive women making false accusations,...who have been embolden and encouraged by the popularity of the MeToo movement. The accusation (no matter if false) is all it takes. Companies will fire a man based on nothing but an accusation because they will error on the side of caution in a way that benefits them. Then a guy tries to find a job and finds he is practically blacklisted (even if it is "unofficial"). Then his wife leaves him. Then the local paper (if it is a small town) hears of the accusation and publishes it and his reputation is ruined within that areas that he "lives and moves". So he loses his job, house, property, family, his home area,...because he is convicted by the court of public opinion, guilty until proven innocent,...and it was all a lie from a vindictive woman, feeling empowered by MeToo, who for whatever reason just wanted to "get even" with him. That said, maybe dating is easier in one sense. Men are much more cautious and pay much more attention to the woman actions and statements so as to not get mixed up with one of those types,...so the man has now less chance of that happening to him,...so that results in "easier" maybe. Edited August 21, 2018 by PRW 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 I'm not seeking to argue - just to understand your perspective. I can certainly understand why you'd avoid women who hate men - just as I'd avoid men who hate women. Ain't nobody got time for that. But given that many women who've posted about their previous sexual assaults also happen to respect good men, what is it about #metoo which make you more wary now? And to be clear, when I speak of women discussing #metoo, I'm thinking of personal friends who are happily married or dating and enjoying men for all the great things that men can be. Because women who hate men are using metoo as a tool to character push their misandry. If I were a a woman who wanted equality and justice for victims of abuse then I would oppose these women as well. They are dragging down a noble cause and will provoke a backlash. It doesnt help that one of the biggest faces of the movement is a predator herself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Striver Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 Has it made it tougher for me? Not really. I don't try that hard in the first place. I am going to say that I resent the hijacking of a general harassment issue into making the issue All About Women. That was a telling development, and I won't forget it. Remember Kevin Spacey? One of the biggest perps in this whole thing, and that didn't affect women at all. Like I said, I don't try that hard anyway. To me there are more women who have the potential of turning on a man than the reverse. There are plenty of bad men out there, I just think they're more likely to be repeat offenders and thus easier to spot. Women are always more situational and harder to predict. It's also interesting to read in a number of threads that a number of women only respond to men who ask them out repeatedly and are persistent. What can I say. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 I agree that #metoo shouldn’t just be about women as victims; we should be equally aware of women or men using their power to sexually harass men or molest boys or girls. I’d argue that it shouldn’t just be about sexual harrassment per se, but should more generally be about those who are in power use their power do unethical things on those without power. Has it made it tougher for me? Not really. I don't try that hard in the first place. I am going to say that I resent the hijacking of a general harassment issue into making the issue All About Women. That was a telling development, and I won't forget it. Remember Kevin Spacey? One of the biggest perps in this whole thing, and that didn't affect women at all. Like I said, I don't try that hard anyway. To me there are more women who have the potential of turning on a man than the reverse. There are plenty of bad men out there, I just think they're more likely to be repeat offenders and thus easier to spot. Women are always more situational and harder to predict. It's also interesting to read in a number of threads that a number of women only respond to men who ask them out repeatedly and are persistent. What can I say. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 I was exceptionally aggressive in pursuing my fiance. She probably could have had me arrested or at least escorted off the property on one or two occasions if she wanted, and I'd do the same exact thing if we just met today. Asia Argento types don't scare me. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 It's also interesting to read in a number of threads that a number of women only respond to men who ask them out repeatedly and are persistent. What can I say. Those women who respond only to persistence are the kind who are likely to be left behind now. Of course, it wouldn't affect the kind of women who don't play games....so it's actually well within the control of the woman. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 Because women who hate men are using metoo as a tool to character push their misandry. If I were a a woman who wanted equality and justice for victims of abuse then I would oppose these women as well. They are dragging down a noble cause and will provoke a backlash. It doesnt help that one of the biggest faces of the movement is a predator herself. I don't read misandrist media, and I pay no attention whatsoever to famous American people. (I honestly have no idea who you're referring to in the last sentence). So while I believe there is this stuff out there, it's just not on my radar. But I would oppose it if I saw it. The movement here in Australia is simply about regular women who've added their voice to being yet another person who's been raped/sexually assaulted/significantly harassed. I've yet to hear anyone name the perpetrator. Perhaps this explains the disconnect with how we relate to the movement? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 Well I think Desesperado and Woggle have kind of nailed the point I was trying to make in the thread where this question was asked of the women. It isn't the real harassment cases that are the problem for us. Uncle Harvey deserved what he got along with the rest of that bunch that bit the dust. But with the every-day dating with the rest of us normal people there has been a "chilling" effect. I don't just judge this by people in this forum although I am interested in what they say. I also have a life and interact with people, people in singles groups and singles events, I get in conversations with a lot of both men and women,...in real life,...and I ask them these things. The biggest fear men seem to have is having there lives ruined by vindictive women making false accusations,...who have been embolden and encouraged by the popularity of the MeToo movement. The accusation (no matter if false) is all it takes. Companies will fire a man based on nothing but an accusation because they will error on the side of caution in a way that benefits them. Then a guy tries to find a job and finds he is practically blacklisted (even if it is "unofficial"). Then his wife leaves him. Then the local paper (if it is a small town) hears of the accusation and publishes it and his reputation is ruined within that areas that he "lives and moves". So he loses his job, house, property, family, his home area,...because he is convicted by the court of public opinion, guilty until proven innocent,...and it was all a lie from a vindictive woman, feeling empowered by MeToo, who for whatever reason just wanted to "get even" with him. That said, maybe dating is easier in one sense. Men are much more cautious and pay much more attention to the woman actions and statements so as to not get mixed up with one of those types,...so the man has now less chance of that happening to him,...so that results in "easier" maybe. I suspect a lot of the range of responses you're having would reflect the personality of the man you're speaking too. A general outlook being anywhere between pessimistic through to realist through to optimist will always skew their response to any part of life. The positive outlooks you've received from men on this thread would undoubtedly reflect their positive nature. Likewise the pessimistic ones. I am curious about you having this conversation with so many people. It's not even in the radar in the circles I travel in. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 Wah Wah misandry. Nuff said. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 Wah Wah misandry. Nuff said. I am not crying. I wish women who hate men would be as open and upfront about it as possible so men with self respect can avoid them as much as possible. If a man deals with open misandrist he knows what he is getting into like somebody who sticks his hand in a piranha tank and it is hard to feel sympathy. I would much rather somebody outright say that she hates men instead of talking about patriarchy, toxic masculinity and mansplaining. If people are going hate any group have the conviction to be proud of your hate and stand by it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 Asia Argento is the kind of woman who will use somewhat dishonest allegations against a man to gain attention, money and/or power for herself. Amber Heard strikes me as another one. Just because this vile type of woman exists in the world doesn't mean you should stop being a man. Don't be afraid. The vast majority are not that. My fiance for example is quite awesome. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 I wonder - are men equally afraid to talk to other men post #metoo? Are they afraid that they will get accused of things just like Kevin Spacey, etc? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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