Should I Contact Him After 9 Months to Help Myself?

[JS17]

Hey js17,

 

Dreams can be very confusing at times.

 

I allways try to see insight in my dreams but most of them would send me stir crazy if i thought too much about them.

 

Play some nature music when sleeping too ease the subconcious:rolleyes:

 

Thanks Andrew. It's not really confusing. It's pretty clear to me but it is sending me stir crazy.

 

Does the nature music thing really work?

[AndrewJ]

You are letting the dreams stir up old feelings?

 

I dont know too much about music therapy but id say medative sounding frequencies (music) would trigger your body to think pure good things.

 

Got to trick your brain not too think when shes in autopilot:)

[JS17]

Yes, they are stirring up a lot of old feelings and reminding me of all of the unresolved questions that he left me with.

 

I'm going to try the nature sounds trick tonight. Thanks.

[AndrewJ]

js17,

 

Sweet dreams:bunny:

[Merin]

JS... You're EXBF is a certified A~Hole... not even an assclown LOL he's a freakin ASS!

 

Please DO NOT validate him anymore. He really said it all in stating that you were making it easy for him to be a prick... (well not his exact words but yeah) IMO even if you did contact his lame ass again to get some answers as to why he is the way he is and why he did what he did, he has PROVEN to take ZERO responsibility for the end of the relationship and my guess is all you will get from him in the way of an answer is it was all your fault.

 

Of course we both know that isn't true... but we both also know he's self absorbed and is incapable of empathy, compassion or responsibility for his part in the break up.

 

You DO NOT NEED his permission/approval or validation of you Girl to move on in your life.... asking him for clousure at this point IMO would be like asking him IF it's okay for you to move on and ya know what? **** HIM! you DON'T need his permission or release of you. He will not give you that because he's a self centered a**h***... truth be told I think there are a lot of people out there just like him who although they don't want to be with you, they are also quite pleased that you are still hurting over them and want to maintain that status quo.

 

Give yourself permission to let go... give yourself clousure in knowing you did all you could and it wasn't that you were not enough it is that he is an A~hole and isn't good enough for you.

 

Hang in there Girl

[JS17]

I just spent some time talking to my sister about this, since at this point she's the only person I can talk to about it, and when I said that he never cared to talk to me after we broke up she told me that he ims her once in a while to see how I am. She told me that he doesn't want to make it worse for me by talking to me. I hate him. He doesn't care about me he only cares about making himself feel better. I hate him for thinking, unfortunately rightfully so, that he has this kind of power over me that nearly a year later I have been destroyed by him. For thinking, poor JS, all alone when I have the perfect girlfriend. It just adds insult to injury. I just don't even know what to do anymore. I'm so ANGRY, and hurt, and jaded and I hate it that I let one tiny little man have such power over me.

[JS17]

Thanks for the support. I think I need to just get out of here for a while so I'm going to meet a friend for some sun in the park. I'm a total mess and this is the only place I feel I can turn to right now. Thank you all for your support.

[Rocko]

Anger sometimes is a good thing. Use it to your advantage!

[sanne]

i'd really advise you to keep going out. never rest, and don't give your mind a chance to think about your ex. keeping busy is the key.

[Helmet]

Do not call. There's nothing to be gained from it except dredging up more feelings and heartache. Let time heal your wounds. Search actively for that next someone.

[Sadlygone]

I feel like I handed over my dignity right on a silver platter to my ex. It makes me sick to think that. For some odd reason it makes me sick to think of her in any bad light because all I have seen her do is show compassion and love to others. I am horrified to find that she would show no regard for my emotional well being. My ex never made any serious attempts to communicate the issues affecting her. She just bottled them up until she made her detachment. When that was done, all she wanted to do was make the process of breaking up swiftly so that she didn't have to feel any guilt. And then at the same time tell me that it was nothing that I did.