BTDT2012 Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 How did he treat you before you married him? Link to post Share on other sites
Malin889 Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 So I'm not being overemotional, or irrational, or deserving of the way he is treating me? I guess every time he has hurt me he has blamed his actions on me that I have started believing that him hurting me or doing things that hurt me like him just leaving me at the restaurant is somehow my fault or that I'm just to sensitive or love him too much. That’s what abusive people do: they hurt you then blame you and try to make you believe it’s your fault. IT ISN’T YOUR FAULT. Please leave this relationship now. He sounds horrible and he’s done a number on your self esteem. Link to post Share on other sites
Malin889 Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 Also I noticed you said your kids don’t live with you? None of my business but why don’t you be alone for awhile and just hang out with your kids and go see a therapist to work on your self esteem? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Malin889 Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 Which I didn't know it until a few seconds ago but apparently with the text messages my husband sent me this morning he also sent a video of him pulling into work being very sarcastic about him only being 15 minutes early and cussing me out. Every other word was f this and f'ing that while he is yelling. I can't believe he actually made and sent a special video just to bless and cuss me out in it but of course he sees nothing wrong with him doing that because I "nagged" him this morning when I tried to voice my concerns so I deserved it. This is a disgusting human being. This is harassment. Just because he’s your husband that gives him no right to harass you and treat you like ****. You know that, right? Please leave him, like, today. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 Nine times out of ten, when a partner says "they feel like they are going crazy" it's because they are being gaslighted. That is a powerful tool of emotional/mental manipulation/control. When a person gets to this point, even if they think it's "imagined", it's time to seek help. You are exhausting yourself. Seek counseling for yourself first. Link to post Share on other sites
RaspberryBeret Posted August 28, 2018 Share Posted August 28, 2018 so sorry you are going through this with the one person who is suppose to be your best friend and partner through this new chapter in your life, I don't want to alarm you but my best advice to you would be for you to get your ducks in a row, you have to put your husband on the back burner and take care of yourself and your baby! If he can't figure out he's feelings or what he wants to do with your marriage give him exactly what he wants, his space. Ask for help anywhere you can , parents, sisters, even in laws thank goodness you have support on his side even though he isn't helping at all. have someone else pack up his things and let him go (this isn't always permanent but it will give him a taste of what he "wants") if you decide to keep this baby pour all you energy and look at the bright side you love yourself and you will love this baby and your family will love this baby and if your husband doesn't respect you or is unable to grow up after a few years file for divorce. or file after you have your baby if he doesn't get his life together. Do NOT engage him or beg him for emotional support , show no signs of love and affection towards your husband , cut him off emotional and physically. Considerate it a "break up" do not try to find out if he is cheating or dating , honestly it will not make a difference when children are involved. Life is complicated and even if there is someone else involved, you will only be obsessing about it and not focusing on your new bundle of joy. Trust me when you see your baby it will be all worth it. Although you should allow your husband to be apart of the baby's life just like any separation situation , be the grown up and be mature about it ALL. you can be the bigger person for your health and the health of your child. I've been in a some what of a similar situation, except for my son is 8 now and I'm glad i finally stood up and demanded respect. We only show people how to treat us by what you accept from them. Please respect yourself enough to back away from this emotional abuse and show him that he needs to get help before you both can reconcile or not. You and your baby will be just fine as long as you are mentally and emotionally strong! Not to down play all this for you because I know how you feel and what you're going through, but trust me when I say put YOU first (for now) Take care of yourself and everything else will follow suit. Link to post Share on other sites
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