to miss mojo

[kikie]

I read your asnwer to the unnamed ...

 

So u were convinced u'd marry your first guy?

 

Would you mind telling more of that story? How long did you stay with him? how, why did u break up? etc?

 

Thanks a lot! If you mind sharing, it's okay too! Bye.

[Miss Mojo]

hi kikie,

 

i was *absolutely* sure i would marry him. i think the main reason i thought this was because of the simple fact that he was my first boyfriend, and it was all so new and thrilling.

 

you have no idea how naive i was. i was with this guy for roughly 4.5 - 5 years, when i should have really only been with him for 6 months.

 

things were *great* for the first 6 months or so (the honeymoon period. it was during this time that i really believed we would marry oneday...the thought makes me cringe now!!! then things went downhill....still, i thought at the time he was 'the one'. i think what made me want to hang on to him is that i was always trying to recapture those excellent times, and had dug myself into a he's-the-one rut....i couldn't let go of what made me happy once. he used to talk about us getting married, which of course, led me to believe it would happen.

 

but even if things were different, and we happened to have a good relationship for 5 years, i know for a fact we wouldn't be together now....i was quickly getting bored because things had become so unbelievably predictable, and he just wasn't fulfilling what i wanted.

 

we broke up because he was an alcoholic and i just couldn't put up with his crap any longer. it was the best decision i could have ever made. not to mention, we weren't half as compatible as i previously thought we were. it reached the point where i knew that i wasn't "in love" with him, and i didn't want to continue something like that.

 

i used to always think that dating a few people before you settled down was rubbish and i couldn't see the point, but now i totally understand why.

 

i really feel that in a first relationship, you are finding your feet and finding out what you want and what you like. quite often, we will have more than 1 relationship before we settle down, and i know people who have got back together with their first loves years after breaking up....although my first boyfriend i don't even consider my first love and will NEVER consider getting back (eewww!). my second boyfriend i consider my first love because we really were in love, and it was the first time i was in a 'proper' relationship, with respect, trust, honesty and lots of good times.

 

i hope i answered your questions!!

[kikie]

thank u!

hi kikie, i was *absolutely* sure i would marry him. i think the main reason i thought this was because of the simple fact that he was my first boyfriend, and it was all so new and thrilling. you have no idea how naive i was. i was with this guy for roughly 4.5 - 5 years, when i should have really only been with him for 6 months. things were *great* for the first 6 months or so (the honeymoon period. it was during this time that i really believed we would marry oneday...the thought makes me cringe now!!! then things went downhill....still, i thought at the time he was 'the one'. i think what made me want to hang on to him is that i was always trying to recapture those excellent times, and had dug myself into a he's-the-one rut....i couldn't let go of what made me happy once. he used to talk about us getting married, which of course, led me to believe it would happen. but even if things were different, and we happened to have a good relationship for 5 years, i know for a fact we wouldn't be together now....i was quickly getting bored because things had become so unbelievably predictable, and he just wasn't fulfilling what i wanted. we broke up because he was an alcoholic and i just couldn't put up with his crap any longer. it was the best decision i could have ever made. not to mention, we weren't half as compatible as i previously thought we were. it reached the point where i knew that i wasn't "in love" with him, and i didn't want to continue something like that. i used to always think that dating a few people before you settled down was rubbish and i couldn't see the point, but now i totally understand why. i really feel that in a first relationship, you are finding your feet and finding out what you want and what you like. quite often, we will have more than 1 relationship before we settle down, and i know people who have got back together with their first loves years after breaking up....although my first boyfriend i don't even consider my first love and will NEVER consider getting back (eewww!). my second boyfriend i consider my first love because we really were in love, and it was the first time i was in a 'proper' relationship, with respect, trust, honesty and lots of good times. i hope i answered your questions!!