MiguelAlva29 Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 I just got into a long distance relationship with my girlfriend who’s in California right now. We’ve been chatting, video calling and talking to each other for months and we’ve finally decided to make things official. I decided to tell my family about it but my grandparents strongly disagree. They’re saying things like “women from USA are cheaters and inconsistent. You’ll just get your heartbroken in the long run.” I can see that they have good intentions since they’re just worried about me but I really am confident about this girl. We’ve only met once during my stay as a foreign exchange student program. I’ve gotten to know her personally and I can say she’s amazing. How can I convince them that there’s nothing to worry about? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 You can't convince them that there's nothing to worry about because it's not true. What you can do is acknowledge that you're aware of the potential issues *long distance being difficult *you don't know her terribly well *many relationships end, and you recognise this could too *you won't send her money. Ever. reassure them that you're going in with your eyes wide open and that if it ends, you know there will be plenty more women out there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 reassure them that you're going in with your eyes wide open and that if it ends, you know there will be plenty more women out there. There you go. The more you tell them "but we're in love!" the less responsible you sound. You've met this girl once and spent very little time together. While I don't agree with their choice of words, the concerns are valid... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 It's a generational & cultural thing. If your relationship is predominantly on line, they will never understand. At most ask them to reserve judgment until they meet her in person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 There you go. The more you tell them "but we're in love!" the less responsible you sound. You've met this girl once and spent very little time together. While I don't agree with their choice of words, the concerns are valid... Mr. Lucky Yes, I was thinking about writing this too, but couldn't find the words without sounding patronising. Definitely leave out the "we're in love" when talking to old people. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 How can I convince them that there’s nothing to worry about? You are asking, "How can I convince some of my family, people whom I love, that their negative biases have no basis in actual reality?" The problem is that people do not recognize when they are actually engaging in the exact same negative mental processes that the people whom they perceive as 'not their friends' or even as their 'enemies' are engaging in. Can you ask your grandparents something along the lines of, "Are you sure that what you're thinking and saying about my girlfriend - the woman whom I love - is actually any different than what 'those other people' are saying about us?, that is, about you and about me and about our family?" Link to post Share on other sites
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