Do you believe the phrase "Once a cheater, always a cheater"

[understand50]

I do not buy into this as well. It would make the idea of reconciliation, completely out of the question. Only option, would be divorce. Everyone is different. I think if in your case this is true, the person has never been faithful, divorce is the way to go. but in many case cheating is a one time thing. Reconciliation is an option. You can not reconcile, if you believe in your heart of hearts that the cheating will go on. I think the whole idea of an "open" marriage is a recognition, by one or both at they cannot not stop cheat so they change the rules.

[MountainGirl111]

Classic saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater."

 

In your experience, have you found this to be true?

 

I don't think this holds true for all people who have cheated.

[yaboinav]

Do you believe in this statement? If so, please explain. I'm curious to hear your thoughts and opinions.

[notbroken]

I'd bet that many in the 'no' camp were cheaters themselves and don't want to label themselves that way or believe they could do it again.

 

There aren't any absolutes. Just because someone cheated in the past doesn't mean they MUST cheat in the future. Cheating is a choice. Is a previous cheater more likely to make the same choice again? I think so. The world has plenty of people that will say they are the perfect example it is not true. It just means they had it in them to do it once upon a time - and therefore they may still. In fact, it will likely be easier every time they do it. Humans find excuses for their behavior. Once an excuse is found it is easier to use it the next time. The odds of a cheater doing it again have to be WAY higher than someone that has never cheated.

 

I have ZERO tolerance for cheating these days. Life is too short to be with a cheater. If I found out a new date had cheated on their ex husband I'd probably just look for someone else. Yes that is harsh but there are too many people in the world to risk being the next person they will continue to cheat on. Some people aren't cheaters and never have been. Everyone does NOT do it.

 

Yes, I've been cheated on. I know my ex will always be a cheater. She has never accepted her role in it (blames me or anyone/anything else) and will likely cheat on her next husband/boyfriend too. It is simply who she is.

[usa1ah]

I have read countless stories on this and other sites.

 

Yes, there are those that the statement “once a cheater always a cheater” is very true.

 

And those that mend their ways.

 

It all depends on the individual.

 

Seek counseling before you enter into another relationship to find out why you cheated.

[amaysngrace]

You can cheat and not be a cheater. It depends on if it’s a pattern or just a one shot deal.

 

Everyone makes mistakes.

[Prudence V]

“Once a cheater, always a cheater” implies that someone who “cheats” in one aspect of their lives is likely to “cheat” in every aspect, and the facts simply don’t bear that out. How many otherwise saintly people do you hear about who were once unfaithful to a partner, for example?

 

It also depends on someone’s values. Some people regard infidelity as the worst kind of dishonesty, while to others, it’s no big deal. Someone who thinks it’s no big deal is far more likely to indulge in it repeatedly than someone who has to negotiate huge moral boundaries and reconcile themselves to a moral position they’re uncomfortable with.

 

Rather than making - or accepting - sweeping statements which totalise, I’d suggest examining the context, the person’s behaviour more generally and over a far longer time, and your own values to see what path suits you.

[elaine567]

Cheaters often exhibit certain personality traits and it is those personality traits that often increase the likelihood of recurrent cheating.

 

Add in learned behaviours from childhood or from role models, and mixing in social/work circles where cheating is more likely or condoned or just easy, then recurrent cheating may be inevitable.

 

"Always" is a big word, and probably not absolutely true, but difficult to prove either way actually, as cheating is usually conducted in secret and not everyone who participates will confess to doing so...