I know that my sons girlfriend has been having sex with his best friend after school?

[Ladyfrenzy76]

My best friend is friends with her mother and I are friends an work at the same job. She finally admitted me today at lunch that she walked in on them having sex last week. She got them to admit that theyve been having sex every other day after school. She said its because his friend acts more " tough." Im not gonna get into that right now.

 

I dont think she has told anyone else but me now.

 

I dont wanna tell him cause how stubborn and upset and denial he can be sometimes when I try to tell him and disobedient wont listen. But theyre still in high school and just teens.

 

I think Its safe to say since these things hapoen a lot during this time it will get discovered eventually.

 

Opinions???

Edited August 23, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[basil67]

Your first sentence makes no sense, so I've really got no idea who knows what. Did you ask the informant what they plan to do about it?

[Ladyfrenzy76]

Your first sentence makes no sense, so I've really got no idea who knows what. Did you ask the informant what they plan to do about it?

 

My best friend is friends with the girls mother.

My friend told me

[PegNosePete]

Your friend told you that his friend's daughter is having sex with your son's girlfriend?

 

Sounds like a lot of Chinese Whispers to me. It could be true but it's also quite possible that the facts have been lost or modified somewhere along the way.

 

If you say nothing and your son doesn't find out, what will you do?

 

If your son finds out in say a month's time and discovers that you knew about it all along, how will he feel?

 

If I were you I'd tell him what you heard and the source, but explain that it's 3rd hand unverified information. Just tell him what you heard, and let him decide what to do.

[doyathinkso]

Give the girlfriend's mother a call.

Explain who you are.

Ask her what's up.

Easy-peasey.

[d0nnivain]

Sure you know the mother of your son's best friend. Call her up & get it straight from the horse's mouth.

 

Then tell your son what you have been told by not 1 but 2 people, your friend & his friend's mom.

 

With your son's father, have a family discussion with your son about safe sex. Make arrangements to take him for a medical exam. Then have the harder discussion with him about the ethics of sex & what has to be rocking his world: He was betrayed by both his best friend & his GF. Poor kid. Don't get all high & mighty. Don't trash the other kids. Just listen to your child's broken heart & help him navigate his confused state of mind without the 2 most important people in his life.

[Ladyfrenzy76]

Sure you know the mother of your son's best friend. Call her up & get it straight from the horse's mouth.

 

Then tell your son what you have been told by not 1 but 2 people, your friend & his friend's mom.

 

With your son's father, have a family discussion with your son about safe sex. Make arrangements to take him for a medical exam. Then have the harder discussion with him about the ethics of sex & what has to be rocking his world: He was betrayed by both his best friend & his GF. Poor kid. Don't get all high & mighty. Don't trash the other kids. Just listen to your child's broken heart & help him navigate his confused state of mind without the 2 most important people in his life.

 

My husband died back in '08.

And I talked with my friend and she thinks its best to let it sirt itself out

[d0nnivain]

My husband died back in '08.

And I talked with my friend and she thinks its best to let it sirt itself out

 

 

I'm sorry for your husband's passing.

 

How can it be best for your son for nobody to tell him his BFF & his GF are betraying him? He will see you as a co-conspirator for not telling him. Even if he gets bent at you -- shoots the messenger -- your job as his mom is to protect him. The best way to do that is to give him the truth.

 

I'm not a parent but in your shoes I'd tell him. I'd sit him down & say something along the lines of how much you love him & want to protect him. Tell him you can't verify anything but you heard something that you thought he ought to know that they are cheating on him. Then ask him Qs. Does he want to go to a doctor? How does he feel? Is there somebody other that you he'd like to talk to? Just be supportive. Don't say bad things about the other pair (even if you are thinking them) but do give him information.

[basil67]

And I talked with my friend and she thinks its best to let it sirt itself out

 

Of course your friend says this - she doesn't want to be implicated as a gossip. Nor does she have a child who has a stake in this.

 

I agree that you need to call the girl's mother, tell her that X told you this story and ask if it's true. If it is true, tell the girl's mother that you will be telling your son. If the girl's mother asks you to say nothing, tell her no deal.

 

Yes, I understand that your son will react badly to the news and probably take it out on you. At this point, it would be wise to recognise this is his pain talking, exacerbated by horrible teenage boy hormones and lack of a fully developed frontal lobe. Don't react back at him. He's already in enough pain because he's found out that his girlfriend and best mate are garbage. Just let him process it in his own time.

Edited August 23, 2018 by basil67

[stillafool]

My husband died back in '08.

And I talked with my friend and she thinks its best to let it sirt itself out

 

What happens when your son comes home with an STD he caught from this very promiscuous girl? Will you wish you had told him then? Imagine how he'll feel knowing you knew about this all along. He may hate you at first because he's hurt but he'll love you later for telling him.

Edited August 23, 2018 by stillafool

[preraph]

Maybe they're just both having sex with other people and not exclusive.