bigandstrong Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 I've been going out with this girl for two years. I'm about 19 years older, so I guess sometimes we don't quite see eye to eye. She has told me before that most of her friends have been male. She thinks they are easier to get along with. Anyway, we were at a bar the other day and she met a guy that I know who has horses. She loves riding and sent him a message on FB saying it was nice talking to him and if he wants a riding buddy to let her know. So I kinda freaked, I was like "what the hell, you meet some guy and ask if he wants to ride with you?" She said it's no big deal, but I think it is. She said I'm thinking old school, that it wouldn't be weird for her to go hang with him and ride. So, I'm asking all of you, am I being weird about this? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 She's young and naive - this is why she doesn't see the problem. She's also correct about men being easier to get along with. Her learning needs to come from experience - not from you freaking out. If she makes decisions which you don't like, mention them without freaking out. If she holds her stance, recognise that the two of you may simply not be suitable. Lastly, given the 19 year age difference, it's unlikely to last the distance. Enjoy it while you can and move on when the age difference becomes too much. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 She wants a riding buddy. You see it as a come on, that she wants to ride something other than horses with this guy. She may not recognize the fact that this guy she messaged sees things your way. You are old school but that doesn't mean either of you are wrong. This may be an area where you will never see eye to eye. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 I've been going out with this girl for two years. I'm about 19 years older, so I guess sometimes we don't quite see eye to eye. She has told me before that most of her friends have been male. She thinks they are easier to get along with. Anyway, we were at a bar the other day and she met a guy that I know who has horses. She loves riding and sent him a message on FB saying it was nice talking to him and if he wants a riding buddy to let her know. So I kinda freaked, I was like "what the hell, you meet some guy and ask if he wants to ride with you?" She said it's no big deal, but I think it is. She said I'm thinking old school, that it wouldn't be weird for her to go hang with him and ride. So, I'm asking all of you, am I being weird about this? why don't you find some chick to go riding with? then we'll see how your gf feels 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 Time to polish your boots, bud. Write your buddy and say, "I got to see this" or something lighthearted so he knows you must be invited. Maybe whoever it is has a wife who will chaperone anyway. As someone who loves horses and hasn't had one in 40 years, I might be forward and a little pushy to get on one (if I could still ride). Link to post Share on other sites
MountainGirl111 Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 I've been going out with this girl for two years. I'm about 19 years older, so I guess sometimes we don't quite see eye to eye. She has told me before that most of her friends have been male. She thinks they are easier to get along with. Anyway, we were at a bar the other day and she met a guy that I know who has horses. She loves riding and sent him a message on FB saying it was nice talking to him and if he wants a riding buddy to let her know. So I kinda freaked, I was like "what the hell, you meet some guy and ask if he wants to ride with you?" She said it's no big deal, but I think it is. She said I'm thinking old school, that it wouldn't be weird for her to go hang with him and ride. So, I'm asking all of you, am I being weird about this? Personally I don't people should "pooh-pooh" their BF/GF's concerns...they should listen up and if something bothers you you should be able to open and honest about it without being written off as being "old school" or whatever else they want to label. Perhaps the bigger question is not whether horse back riding together in inappropriate, but rather why she would be so quick to label your thinking/concern as "old school". You are indeed 19 years older than her and this could one of many times in your relationship she might label you as old school. I can tell that bothers you and rightly so. Horseback riding can be intimate or romantic I suppose. Most of my ridin' buddies have been with other girls and if there was a guy involved it was on a group ride. Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 Riding buddies, eh? Will they each be on their own horse? I once had a GF who was a horse rider. I would be sitting behind her and, let me just say, if only that horse could speak of the things that occurred whilst we were on that horses' back, well, that horse would still be in therapy... Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 I think you’re possibly making something out of nothing. My own daughter hangs out with her guy friends as much as she hangs with her girls, maybe even moreso and it’s strictly platonic. There are times when it’s four guys and she’s the only girl. They’re her friends. It’s not a big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
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