Battling multiple addictions/compulsive behaviors with affair

[Ravensglen]

Hi LS readers,

 

Just wanted to share some thoughts & see if anyone else can relate.

 

I had an EA with an ex that ended and I’ve been NC since ending it several months ago. In the beginning of NC I was going through serious withdrawal and thought of him constantly. Many on LS compare it to drug addiction & withdrawal symptoms. I realized I was engaging in several other compulsive habits alongside the EA, including: shopping, compulsive exercise/overexercising, and eating disorder behaviors. Essentially with all of it, I was looking for an escape. I shifted my focus from the EA to exercising less, not shopping anymore to distract myself from my feelings, and upping my food intake. Once I stopped starving myself, essentially, my obsession for OM is basically gone. I don’t think about him all the time, I don’t fantasize about him all the time, and I feel more sane. I started going to IC but made changes on my own first.

 

Wondering if any other LS-ers have battled other issues or addictions simultaneously with affairs or affair fog, and whether you see them as related.

[brokenandhopeless]

Totally get this. I believe I get consumed/addicted to something (especially a relationship) and to get out of my fantasy EA, I keep wondering what I should take up to, to keep busy/consumed. Some of those thoughts have not been pretty. I think I do have some OCD symptoms. I wonder if this kind of obsessive behavior is what keeps me addicted to my EA.

Edited August 24, 2018 by brokenandhopeless

[Ravensglen]

Totally get this. I believe I get consumed/addicted to something (especially a relationship) and to get out of my fantasy EA, I keep wondering what I should take up to, to keep busy/consumed. Some of those thoughts have not been pretty. I think I do have some OCD symptoms. I wonder if this kind of obsessive behavior is what keeps me addicted to my EA.

 

 

I can also very much relate to what you said about OCD-type behavior. And I do think it played into the obsessive thoughts of the EA I took part in!

[grass-hopper]

I hadn’t thought about it that way. But I have been very obsessive about working out. I saw it more as a distraction. Something that gets my mind off of my obsessive thoughts of him.

 

Unlike you I’m not NC. Although I wish to be

[jah526]

Yes, I am very prone to rumination and obsessive thinking. I’ve always been this way and have had other relationships that I obsessed over. They were all relationships where the other person wasn’t as invested or was being abusive and I took it upon myself to make things better. Now I’m trying to see things differently and stay away from people who aren’t willing or able to treat me with the same respect I treat them, even if it means a decrease in the number of people I interact with, because the ones I keep are like gold.