Going way out of my comfort zone... to the club

[Garcon1986]

Hi, I've moved from Florida to Mississippi to start a new job, and as an Asian gentleman, the dating prospects are extremely difficult. I've had a total of one date in 2 months whereas in Florida I could get quite a bit more. My primary means of meeting new single ladies is in the local salsa club, however -

 

It's my first night in the club, and I give off a disconcerting vibe inside the club because I'm shouting to my prospective partner, because I can't hear her. This is never going to work if I keep on making people uncomfortable.

 

 

What are specific, actionable steps for me to take to become the edgy, masculine guy who girls are happy to talk with?

 

I'm a guy who responds to logic and very direct advice, so if you tell me advice like be yourself and smile, I'll say well I do that already, but it's harder if I'm forced to yell =)

 

There are no other local clubs I can think of which simultaneously share my interests and have like minded and similarly aged ladies (I am looking for 20-30).

 

I'm simultaneously working on my body language, physical appearance (got a workout plan), and social skills outside the club at the same time. The work seems to fail once inside the club. Right now the muscular guys get all the attention. One thing I've got going for me is that I am a reasonably good salsa dancer from a ballroom background.

 

Thank you ladies and gentlemen.

[d0nnivain]

Learn to read lips, at least a little. It helps in a club when you can't hear. Never try a deep conversation over the music. Do try to find the quietest places so you can steer somebody over there to talk.

 

Don't rely on one venue only to search for dates. Mix it up. Use OLD (sparingly); try a local bar; attend meetups; attend singles events; check out who is around near your office; attend industry events to see who is there.

 

Happy hunting.

[Dodgersfan11]

As a female who is going to clubs actively looking for men, here's what don't like:

 

1) Guys who approach me and are totally hammered

2) Guys who start dancing too close to me, are practically grinding, putting their hands all over me, and like turning me around to dance BEHIND me and grind.

3) Bad Breath-I had a few guys talk to me with stinking bad breath! Gross. Ever heard of breath mints???

4) The "can I buy you a drink?" No, save that for later until I decide if I like you.

 

Otherwise, be a gentlemen, ask a lady for permission to dance always, don't say anything stupid-don't be hammered when you talk to a girl-liquid courage is a turn off-have 1 drink and that's it. Take breath mints- you will have conversations when you have to get close a girls face and bad breath is gross. If you do dance with a girl just be polite and dance separate-don't grind or put your hands down her butt. You can hold hands and dance together but no grinding take her from behind to dance.

[LordVader]

I don't understand how people at clubs can hear each other. I've been there and looking around it's like most people seem to find it easy talking. I guess a lot of them are just used to it or something.