Velbloud Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 My boyfriend complains repeatedly about feeling trapped and I have no idea how to solve it anymore. If anybody has some help I would be more than grateful. Thanks. We are together for 9 months. He lives in his van, but in fact for last three months he lives at my place. He claims to love me a lot and I believe him, I also love him. The problem is he keeps complaining that he is not allowed to sleep with other women. I made it clear from the beginning of our dating that I am not a type for casual sex and I could not bear open relationships. We are both 26 and so far I am his first exclusive partner, before he usually had 3-4 women at the same time (and he told me this after 3 months of dating). I also made it clear that I love him very much but if he feels on the wrong place I cannot hold him and he is of course free to go anytime. But that before I would like him to give a thought to what he really wants, because if it is a sensation of competition, admiration of females, feeling of belonging to pickup community or whatever it is, he can get it without actually having sex with other women. There are people who live like this. I asked him if our relationship is less important than the short-term moment of fun he gains from casual sex. I asked him to decide soon because I am starting to feel pretty frustrated by all of this. I love him. When I returned to the room he was crying. I don't know what to do, I am trying to give him as much space as he needs but he keeps changing his attitudes every second day and I feel already really tired... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 He is not trapped. You are. You are sheltering a rotten selfish person who isn't even grateful for the roof you put over his head. Show him how not trapped he is. Open your front door & escort him out back to his van & all the other women he wants to have sex with. Good riddance. Then you fumigate your apartment, have a good cry & go find a decent person with a job to date who treats you kindly. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 (edited) Let me get this straight, you are dating a homeless man, living in his truck, who has moved in with you for the past three months. Does he have a job? Is he paying you rent? As for the fact that he feels trapped and complains about the fact that he is not able to sleep with other women while dating you... honey, a leopard doesn’t usually change his spots. You would be foolish to stay with this guy... he is not going to be a good long term partner for you. Best to set him free so that he is available to sleep with however many women he would like... Indeed. Keep this guy around and you will be the one who is trapped - paying his bills while he cheats on you with other women. Edited August 26, 2018 by BaileyB 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 When men are around women they want sex. Admiration, attention, etc. is important too but sex is always going to be the main course with them. He is only 26 and is not ready to give up his bachelor life. If you tell him no he will still find a way to get some strange on the side. Save yourself further frustration and let him go to it. I don't blame you for not accepting this as it will expose you to further heartache and STDs. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 My boyfriend complains repeatedly about feeling trapped and I have no idea how to solve it anymore. If anybody has some help I would be more than grateful. Thanks. We are together for 9 months. He lives in his van, but in fact for last three months he lives at my place. He claims to love me a lot and I believe him, I also love him. The problem is he keeps complaining that he is not allowed to sleep with other women. I made it clear from the beginning of our dating that I am not a type for casual sex and I could not bear open relationships. We are both 26 and so far I am his first exclusive partner, before he usually had 3-4 women at the same time (and he told me this after 3 months of dating). I also made it clear that I love him very much but if he feels on the wrong place I cannot hold him and he is of course free to go anytime. But that before I would like him to give a thought to what he really wants, because if it is a sensation of competition, admiration of females, feeling of belonging to pickup community or whatever it is, he can get it without actually having sex with other women. There are people who live like this. I asked him if our relationship is less important than the short-term moment of fun he gains from casual sex. I asked him to decide soon because I am starting to feel pretty frustrated by all of this. I love him. When I returned to the room he was crying. I don't know what to do, I am trying to give him as much space as he needs but he keeps changing his attitudes every second day and I feel already really tired... He's sticking around for the convenience . . . He is not a "boyfriend", he is a parasite and you are allowing him to drain you emotionally. Not healthy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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