anduina Posted September 1, 2018 Share Posted September 1, 2018 I have met someone online (in another state). To say he is out of my league is a horrific understatement. He is bordering unreal in every possible way. Yes, yes, I know there's so little one can tell about a person, especially from a dating website, but just please take my word on this one. I am feeling things that I have never experienced before. Something along the lines of sadness that someone could be that perfect and that unattainable and I am feeling so small. I guess something along the lines of falling for someone who's essentially an illusion. I am not asking for advice. I am just curious about if others have felt something like this, just so that I'm not feeling so alone with my experience. And also, how did you react if you have experienced something like this? Thank you.Would he be connecting with you if he thought he was out of your league, especially since you're out of state? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 1, 2018 Share Posted September 1, 2018 my ex had a cousin who informed me i was out of my exes league......its not the first time i have been informed of being out of someones league or my ex was told he could do better..my exes cousin told me bluntly i dont know why he is with you he had rich beautiful women chasing him and he chooses you...i guess it was enough for the cousin to find out because i became someone he trusted enough to talk too about his life and religion....im glad he got to know me.....and i got to know him....the cousin i mean..because he drowned not long after and i was able to write a really personal eulogy that touched his family when you get to know people on a deeper more intimate level......you see there aren't any leagues......and that there is a beauty to be found in everyone ...i never feel good enough for men i choose to date.....but then i have been called names and ridiculed..directly told im not good enough by others....but...in saying that...they see my beautiful...its in me....and i find it in them....all men i date...i consider to be beautiful too.....regardless...of what others do or dont see...and the very best of men i date....are able to make me feel beautiful and leagues a non starter.....regardless of others perceptions of who i am or how i "appear"........deb Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 1, 2018 Share Posted September 1, 2018 Yeah, I have a buddy who used to think like that. He is now 35, hasn't had a proper date with a girl in ages, and hasn't had an actual GF in around 15 years. The guy was always meeting hot 20-year-old girls, always trying to get with one of them, and always failing. Decades of it. If your buddy is only defining 9's and 10's as twenty-year olds, you've just identified his problem. He's missing out on an awful lot... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted September 1, 2018 Share Posted September 1, 2018 I believe in leagues... I'm not saying it's absolute. And LOTS of other factors come into play if a relationship starts to grow and people care more and more about 'the other's' character. But I have noticed several 'features' that people filter on. If 'the other' does not have an acceptable feature (and the range of what's 'acceptable' may be narrow or broad), they are 'out of the seeker's league'. For female seekers, I see most often height, body type, age, and income as the 'league filters'. I use the same league filters with the exception of caring about education, healthy lifestyle, and physical activity levels rather than income. Other filters I see in play, though less often, are politics and religion e.g. as an, at best, agnostic I haven't tried to meet a woman who is strongly Christian (haven't seen strong preferences for other religions). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chris2016 Posted October 5, 2018 Share Posted October 5, 2018 Just because I thought they were out of my league, did not mean that I did not give it a shot. Ex-fiancé I tried maybe a half dozen times to get a date before she said yes. Ex-wife, almost 6' to my 5' 6", strawberry blonde with freckles, and a fold-out body, I did not chase, she chased me Current GF, my first thought the night I met her was there is a face I could kiss good morning to for the rest of my life, 5' 9", almost 40" legs to my 30", and a grandma who still had an hour glass figure and a flat stomach. Her ex-H was a 20 year military man who was still in shape, and when we met she was living with a semi-pro heavy weight fighter, she liked her men big and tuff, 5' 6', 135 pound me, took her away from her 6 footer with a six pack, and we have been together for over 2 decades. It was in my DNA to be super attracted to long legged women. Over the decades that I was in the dating game, I met a and dated many, but when it came time to get serious, could not see them getting hitched to a shorter skinny guy. Damn brotha, you must be hella good looking. Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted October 5, 2018 Share Posted October 5, 2018 In all these threads about 'out of your league', we just get stories of people dating up. Where are all the dating down stories? Why aren't all those who don't believe in leagues coming out and saying 'nobody's too ugly, poor, and generally undesirable for me to give them a chance!' 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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