GF Cruise & Bachelorette Party

[usa1ah]

Good point. Part of what irks me is that she couldn't care less about going to bachelorette party. She only is going so her cousin doesn't get mad at her. I am a "nice guy" who is always understanding and doesn't get outwardly upset. So upsetting me is the easier path for my gf vs upsetting her cousin.

 

 

IMO a SO or spouse's wishes should take precedent.

 

Not true. She would never of brought it up if she didn’t want to go. She would rather go to the party and see the strippers then spend the evening with you.

 

Why is it time after time you find yourself questioning her actions. It’s because you haven’t for the proof yet.

 

Just ditch the wedding weekend all together and find a date for that weekend. Tell her to have fun and a good life. That your tired of taking second place to everyone else in her life.

 

Yes you have a right to be mad. I guess the two of you planned the weekend out before the bachelorette party was brought up? Then she throws out the info about the party. Is this exactly how she let slip about staying at a villa with two or three guys on the trip she was supposed to take a year ago?

Edited September 5, 2018 by usa1ah

[Wookin Pa Nub]

Yes you have a right to be mad. I guess the two of you planned the weekend out before the bachelorette party was brought up? Then she throws out the info about the party. Is this exactly how she let slip about staying at a villa with two or three guys on the trip she was supposed to take a year ago?

 

 

 

Yes you are correct, she asked me to the wedding weekend and we'd leave after wedding for Vegas on Sunday. Then it turns out the wedding is on a sunday late afternoon, reception in the evening. To get to Vegas on Sunday we would have to just go to the wedding ceremony then go to airport. She is not close at all to the cousin getting married. Her other cousin (groom's sister) got mad. I understood that and said stay the whole time and fly to Vegas Monday.

 

 

Then gf went to wedding shower 2 weeks ago and that's when bachelorette party was revealed. She brought it up then proceeded to talk about a aunt of the family that is a crazy cougar (she is quite attractive for her age). This aunt told the cousin 2 years ago to make sure you sleep with enough men before you get married. So in my head this cougar aunt is planning a night of men chasing with my hot gf.

 

 

There have been other things that haven't added up like the Italy trip, denying texts from a yoga student and deleting fb messages.

[usa1ah]

Yes you are correct, she asked me to the wedding weekend and we'd leave after wedding for Vegas on Sunday. Then it turns out the wedding is on a sunday late afternoon, reception in the evening. To get to Vegas on Sunday we would have to just go to the wedding ceremony then go to airport. She is not close at all to the cousin getting married. Her other cousin (groom's sister) got mad. I understood that and said stay the whole time and fly to Vegas Monday.

 

 

Then gf went to wedding shower 2 weeks ago and that's when bachelorette party was revealed. She brought it up then proceeded to talk about a aunt of the family that is a crazy cougar (she is quite attractive for her age). This aunt told the cousin 2 years ago to make sure you sleep with enough men before you get married. So in my head this cougar aunt is planning a night of men chasing with my hot gf.

 

 

There have been other things that haven't added up like the Italy trip, denying texts from a yoga student and deleting fb messages.

 

So why are you still with her?

[RecentChange]

Upon seeing this thread . . . just the title . . . I said to myself "oh no, not him again." You have been "bad & insecure" since you started with this woman. The Italy thing, the new year's eve thing, introducing your kids, etc.

 

 

Riiiiight? I saw the title and the posters name... and a song got stuck in my head.

 

Its just the way it is.... somethings will never change...

 

The OP had a lot of security and jealousy issues with his now ex wife as well.

 

Personally? I would go to the wedding, and while she is out at the bachelorette party, I would take myself out to a nice dinner, maybe a movie or something.

 

Both my husband and I travel for business, and sometimes the other will tag along - which will mean that I might have a business dinner or something, and the Mr will go do his own thing. No big deal.

 

If its not this... it will be the next thing causing him consternation.

[Wookin Pa Nub]

So why are you still with her?

 

 

 

Because she is a great girl, my best friend and 99% of the time I am confident she only wants to be with me for the rest of my life. She's very loyal to me and her girls and puts us first.

 

 

I think the other 1% is a combination of me getting in my head, my insecurities and other events happening in her life.

 

 

She rarely goes out without me and if she does it is with a girlfriend just for dinner and is home by 8 or 9.

[usa1ah]

Because she is a great girl, my best friend and 99% of the time I am confident she only wants to be with me for the rest of my life. She's very loyal to me and her girls and puts us first.

 

 

I think the other 1% is a combination of me getting in my head, my insecurities and other events happening in her life.

 

 

She rarely goes out without me and if she does it is with a girlfriend just for dinner and is home by 8 or 9.

 

Go back and read your own post. You will see that what your wrote out above isn’t true.

 

When you first posted I was for your gf. She continues to put herself in shady positions. Sorry but I don’t believe she is as squeaky clean as you believe.

[smackie9]

Why do you keep complaining about her? If you say she's loyal, then she's loyal. You have yet to find any real proof otherwise. If you don't like something, then learn to express it through communication. We can't really help you here. This is on you to talk to her about it.

[usa1ah]

I doubt Wookin has ever really tried to verify if she has cheated or not.

[Wookin Pa Nub]

Why do you keep complaining about her? If you say she's loyal, then she's loyal. You have yet to find any real proof otherwise. If you don't like something, then learn to express it through communication. We can't really help you here. This is on you to talk to her about it.

 

 

 

I believe she is loyal but does things to make me question things. We live in different cities which makes it harder.

 

 

1. She received texts from yoga student I saw plain as day. I didn't tell her I saw them on her phone. I indirectly lead the conversation to her bringing up this student's name and she said he sent FB messages. I said he didn't text you? and she said she doesn't give phone number out. She had no messages from him on her FB. Yes I snooped but she said I can look at her phone whenever. I pressed about her sending me the FB messages and she said she deleted them.

 

 

She has complained about this guy to me and said she wants to quit that fitness club soon. I think she says that to make me happy. Now just yesterday she is saying she doesn't want to quit even though she has new opportunity that is closer to home.

 

 

2. On bachelorette party (Friday night of wedding weekend) - she said I would be there with her and we'd do our own thing and she would join in here and there. I think she said that to make me happy. Now in last couple days she is buttering me up. She's easy to see thru. She said on Saturday of wedding weekend let's just spend the day alone. She brought up just being alone again. I think she is saying this so I won't be upset when she ditches me on Friday.

[Blanco]

Many pre-wedding parties are co-ed these days. The last one I went to the girls went out to dinner; the guys went to Top Golf. Then we all met up around 10 pm for drinking & dancing.

 

Not to get too off-topic here, but I cannot stand this trend. I'm far from an alpha male, but this kind of stuff just rubs me the wrong way. No real reason outside of insecurity to blend bachelor/bachelorette parties. Want everyone to co-mingle? That's what the reception is for.

[basil67]

I believe she is loyal but does things to make me question things. We live in different cities which makes it harder.

 

 

1. She received texts from yoga student I saw plain as day. I didn't tell her I saw them on her phone. I indirectly lead the conversation to her bringing up this student's name and she said he sent FB messages. I said he didn't text you? and she said she doesn't give phone number out. She had no messages from him on her FB. Yes I snooped but she said I can look at her phone whenever. I pressed about her sending me the FB messages and she said she deleted them.

 

 

She has complained about this guy to me and said she wants to quit that fitness club soon. I think she says that to make me happy. Now just yesterday she is saying she doesn't want to quit even though she has new opportunity that is closer to home.

 

 

2. On bachelorette party (Friday night of wedding weekend) - she said I would be there with her and we'd do our own thing and she would join in here and there. I think she said that to make me happy. Now in last couple days she is buttering me up. She's easy to see thru. She said on Saturday of wedding weekend let's just spend the day alone. She brought up just being alone again. I think she is saying this so I won't be upset when she ditches me on Friday.

 

And now we're back to you not respecting her and not trusting her. Do you realise how dysfunctional your relationship with her is? I can't imagine snooping on or speaking about someone I love in the way you are with her.

[Blanco]

It's OK, she's hot, it's totally worth it.

[usa1ah]

Hey Wookin, how are things?

[Wookin Pa Nub]

Hey Wookin, how are things?

 

 

 

I visited my gf this weekend. Nothing has been decided regarding Bachelorette party. We are staying at cousin's house for the weekend. She reminded me she has bachelorette party Friday night. I asked what will I do. She said you can just come along. I said that would be weird and she said you can hang out with cousin's husband who is a complete a-hole. She then texted her cousin and asked details. Apparently the bride wants to go to a tranny bar. My gf joking said she can dress me up like a girl.

 

 

On a different subject, my gf found out something quite disturbing. One of her neighbors is an extended Indian family that owns the local convenient store. One of her friends saw a picture of my gf cutting her grass hanging up in the convenient store. The friend asked the owner/clerk why he has a picture of her and he said she is my neighbor and she is nice. That is totally creepy. My gf said she has only talked to the neighbor like 3 times. I drove to the store with my gf and I went in alone to check and I didn't see the picture. We surmised that the friend saying something to the owner prompted him to take down the picture.

 

 

This neighbor is on her backyard side. My gf will take her dogs out in the backyard early in the morning sometimes just in her pjs or underwear. I told her she can't be doing that anymore. We wake up yesterday morning and she says she needs to cover up bc of creepy neighbor. She slept naked and so she puts on pj pants and a very loose fitting tank top (no bra). She was pouring out of the tank top. I didn't say anything but I feel I need to follow up asking her to make sure she is not going out there half dressed.

[Wookin Pa Nub]

Our ride to the wedding (gf's mom) is now leaving a day earlier so we cannot go with them. We are both flying to Las Vegas after wedding so we cannot drive to wedding, since our return flights are back to our respective cities.

 

 

I could tell this put stress on gf as she didn't want to disappoint pushy cousin and didn't want to leave me alone at cousins house. My gf was trying to persuade me not come at all since I am leaving the day of the wedding. She also said she could fly on Friday and I come up on Saturday when her brother and family drive up. I said why don't we both go on Saturday with her brother since he has a big enough car. We also talked about taking bus up on Friday.

 

 

She texted this morning that her brother only has room for one person and he would pick me up Saturday and she would go up Friday for bachelorette party. I had a feeling that was going to be her response.

 

 

I said I will take bus up with her Friday and I would get a hotel in the city (instead of staying at cousin's house) and I would walk around city while she was at party. She said no, she's not leaving me alone that night and will skip the party. She just now has to figure out what she will say to her cousin. She texted the bride before and the bride said she understands if she can't make the bachelorette party.

[usa1ah]

Knew she would try this.

[Wookin Pa Nub]

Knew she would try this.

 

Try what? Persuade me not to come or tell me to come the next day with her brother? Her brother has a big SUV that seats 7. There's 5 in his family but a few days ago she did say a cousin might come up with them (highly doubtful IMO). She just told me he only had room for 1 and didn't provide specifics.

[usa1ah]

She wants you out of the way so she can play, so both.

 

So once or twice is one thing. But your gf is constantly throwing up red flags.

 

You will never no peace while dating her. Best of luck.

[usa1ah]

There is a guy on an other site.

 

His wife goes to a bachelorette party at a neighbors house.

 

Next thing he knows is the neighbor’s husband sent him a picture of the posters wife with the stripper’s **** in her hands with a snide remark.

 

So you can either go along with it or just tell her to have fun and leave early for your business trip on your own and have fun.

 

You keep acting like a whipped pup with her decisions.