In a committed relationship & can’t stop thinking about other men...

[Emma1556]

Even the title of this thread makes me loathe myself on a new level, but it is the truth. I have been with my boyfriend for 3.5 years and they have been some of the best in my life. He is an effing unicorn. He is supportive, hilarious, intelligent and interesting, and handsome as hell. He treats me like royalty, letting me know every day just how much he loves me. I love him, too. We live together (have basically since we started dating), and have two dogs together.

 

Before we started dating I was rather sexually free, not big on sleeping with MANY people but having no regrets when I did. I was a flirt and I didn’t care, I was young and having fun. I’m still young. But this here and now isn’t fun. Most of the time I am content in my relationship and it is bliss, because we are so good to each other. Then there are times like now, when I have an internal war going on, one side yelling at me for even thinking of being attracted to someone else and one side yelling at me to go sleep with that someone else. Or you know, just text them.

 

This isn’t the first time I’ve had a crisis like this. I meet someone new that I find attractive, and my thoughts circulate around that person relentlessly for days on end. I want them so badly. I have gone so far as to dance with two such men (there have only been these two) on different occasions while drunk at a night club. I didn’t kiss them but damn, did I want to.

 

I have had enough self control to not cheat on my boyfriend because I know it would ruin us. When him and I met he had just gotten out of a toxic marriage that ended with her cheating, and him kicking her out of the house. He told me flat out that if I ever did it, there would be no second chances.

 

Im here because I don’t know what to do. I’m sitting on the floor crying writing this. I want to be happy with the man that I have. He is so perfect for me, and we have such a happy life. I don’t want to leave him. I do want to have sex with someone else. Which makes me feel like the most awful person, especially since he is so steadfast and faithful. What do I do? How will I ever be satisfied? If I fight these feelings, will I resent it someday that I was not more free? Or will I be glad that I chose to stay and be faithful and have no regrets at all? Please help...

[central]

Perhaps there's nothing wrong with you, but you may be polyamorous and not realize it - yet - and trying to live up to a monogamous ideal that isn't right for you. Do a little reading; books, morethantwo site, polyamory site, etc., and see if that fits. If it doesn't, then at least you'll have a better idea of what might fit for you.