Liquorz Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 Hi all, I have a crush with this guy at my previous work. Im not working in there anymore. I never let him/showed him my feeling. I always pretended to be cool in front of him cos I was such a shy. Im the kinda person who can flirt at all! We only talked if we had to regarding our work, other than that he always acted cool in front of me. I felt that he did that only to me, dont know if that was because I was the only girl at work. The day I quit the job I sent him an anonymous sms, saying hi and asking him how he was going, telling him that Im his old friend. Since then we've been texting and emailing for nearly 3 weeks now, but he still doesnt know who I am, and not even suspecting anything. My first intention texting him was to let him know that I liked him, but up til now I still havent got the courage to say it. Instead both us enjoy our time chatting thru text and emails. I asked around to lotsa my friend asking for their opinion and I got different answers from them. They only told me that what I have done is very 'coward'... (which let me down completely) I've been thinking too that what I've done is not fair to the guy I like. I plan to tell him eventually, but dont know how to do it. Should I tell him anonymously still? Or should I let him know who I am? Can anyone help/suggest what to do? I'm worried if I told him that I got a crush on him he's gonna tell his friends at work who also know me well (thats gonna be so embarassing)... Please help... thanks so much... Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 Don't tell him you have a crush on him. Ask him out or suggest something you could do together and tell him who you are. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 Yeah, you are certainly going to want to tell him who you are and go ahead and end the 'anonymous' part. It would be a shame if you asked him to do something, and he turned you down because he has a crush on his 'anonymous text buddy' and doesn't want to jeopardize his chances with "her". In your next email, you may want to go ahead and hint at who you are if not just come right out and tell him and then ask him if he would like to meet for something casual - daytime date stuff like coffee, or something like that. You can save the 'I have a crush on you' stuff for after you get to know him a little better outside of the 'anonymous' interaction. A casual daytime meeting will give you a chance to talk in a fairly casual setting, without putting on the 'heavy date' pressure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Liquorz Posted September 7, 2005 Author Share Posted September 7, 2005 Hi all, Thanks for the replies... What I find hard about this guy is that he's a cool, cold blooded kinda guy, not easy to approach one. On the other hand Im a really shy person. So we didnt talk much, we only talked when we needed to. Also I never showed in from of him at all that I like him. Do u think it would be weird if I asked him out? Secondly, he's got a gf. So either way (emails or face to face meeting) would give me only a slim chance anyway... so.. Do u think if I just want to tell him who I am and that I like him, emails would be ok? I just want to get over it as quickly as I can.. do u think he will think bad of me if I do it that way? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 he's got a gf That pretty much changes everything. I'm not sure what you would expect from this. Do you want to be the girl he cheats on his girlfriend with (on some level you already are - I have no doubt his g/f has noticed some subtle 'changes' since he began his email/text sessions with you). Do you want to break up his relationship with his girlfriend? You can tell him who you are, and how you feel - but understand that going after a man who is already involved is working against the odds when it comes to happiness. Generally speaking, women who go after unavailable men just end up being used as the 'OW' while he continues his relationship. Is that what you are hoping for? Before you jump into this, you will want to think very carefully about what it is you hope to get out of this. What is your best case scenario? What is your worst case scenario? What do you hope to get out of this, if things could work 100% your way? Are there factors involved that are within your control enough to make things work 100% your way? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 It bugs me when people leave very important facts out of their questions. Leave him alone. Your crush is your problem and you have no right to intrude on someone else's relationship. Suck it up and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
sanne Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 seriously that's sickening behavior. he has a gf, leave him alone. and yes you are acting like a coward like your friends say you are. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 What I dont get is : This guy is receiving anoymous texts from someone he does not know and is corresponding back and forth and flirting with this * ghost * girl while he has a GF ??? This makes no sense. He does not sound nice and neither do you for doing this to his current relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Liquorz Posted September 8, 2005 Author Share Posted September 8, 2005 Okay maybe I didnt make this clear enough... I dont know if he actually has a gf. I should say he MIGHT have a gf. What I really wanna do is telling him that I like him, and over it as soon as possible... p.s. we r not flirting in the emails or that sort of stuff.. we only talked about normal stuff... nothing romantic at all... Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 He has a girlfriend and now he * might * have one. ? Now no more games....tell him who you are.....and let the chips fall.....find out also if he has a gf...for sure.....and who knows the whole outcome...>? Link to post Share on other sites
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