mortensorchid Posted August 28, 2018 Share Posted August 28, 2018 I have started a new job which is great, I am still getting acclimated to things and we're making progress. But I digress on that topic... I met someone at this job. He seems like a good guy based on the little I know about him. We see each other almost everyday, he is another proctor in the dorm where I work (I am a morning dorm proctor at a boarding school), while I don't live there I am more or less 3/4 time (I work mornings, one weekend a month, some evening shifts, and filling in for administrative offices / subbing for classes / lunch duty at the building itself). He lives in the dorm, he's a teacher and also does dorm activities with the boarding students as well. We met during the first few weeks while we were getting things set up for the semester. I have learned many a lesson with people. Since that rejection from a now former coworker four years ago, something inside of me changed. I have no explanation as to how and why but it just did. And I said I will not be hurt again by anyone yet I am raw on the inside and in a lot of pain still. So I adopted extreme introversion and have become what I am today : A blank slate. And it's a really REALLY bad idea to get involved with the people you work with, which I had known for years already. And this guy and I met … He seems like a good guy. He's quite a bit younger than me (I'll be 44 he's 16 years younger than me), I took that into consideration. We were polite and chatty with one another. I stay out of his business - I saw him over the weekend when working a weekend shift and he went out with a woman to a movie. I said hello to her when he introduced me to her. I see him every morning as he is on his way out to the building to go teach, we say hello of course, and sometimes he hands me the dorm phone for the students. Today he said to me while I was at the back table ready to hand out the meds to the students "You look nice today". I said "Oh, thank you." I saw him at lunch today and asked how the movie was that he went to see, he said it was a good time. But since we were being pulled in a million directions it was just a quick encounter. I did ask him what he did before he came to this job, he told me this this and this. I asked if he had a gf. I immediately regretted doing so, I said "I'm sorry that's not my business." He said no he didn't, and that's okay to ask that. What now? Just … Be? Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 So this guy is 28?? HUGE age difference!! Moreover he is a coworker, never fish off the company pier!! He is a young man trying to establish his career. Of course he is being polite, he is learning how to navigate the professional working world. It was completely inappropriate to ask him if he had a girlfriend!! Its none of your business!! He answered because he didn't want to rock the boat, but you are bordering on creating a hostile work environment for this young man. He needs this job as both his home and his source of income. Leave him alone... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mortensorchid Posted August 29, 2018 Author Share Posted August 29, 2018 So this guy is 28?? HUGE age difference!! Moreover he is a coworker, never fish off the company pier!! He is a young man trying to establish his career. Of course he is being polite, he is learning how to navigate the professional working world. It was completely inappropriate to ask him if he had a girlfriend!! Its none of your business!! He answered because he didn't want to rock the boat, but you are bordering on creating a hostile work environment for this young man. He needs this job as both his home and his source of income. Leave him alone... Yes I know. I had a fleeting … You know with him. But that's all it is. I will let it be. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 if I was a 28 year old man I would want to date girls in their mid to early twenties. what would motivate him to date a 44 year old woman? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mortensorchid Posted August 29, 2018 Author Share Posted August 29, 2018 if I was a 28 year old man I would want to date girls in their mid to early twenties. what would motivate him to date a 44 year old woman? I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted August 31, 2018 Share Posted August 31, 2018 Yes I know. I had a fleeting … You know with him. But that's all it is. I will let it be. You had a what? He's being polite and professional. You should do the same, if you want to keep this job. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 31, 2018 Share Posted August 31, 2018 I don't see anything wrong with getting to know someone at work. I get asked if I am married, have kids, etc. It's no big deal. I most certainly don't assume they are interested in dating me. I don't think he was thinking you were inquiring about a GF to see if he was available. He just thought it was simple conversation and thought nothing of it. I agree he was just being polite and professional, so stop trying to read into it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mortensorchid Posted September 2, 2018 Author Share Posted September 2, 2018 I agree he was just being polite and professional, so stop trying to read into it. Yes, I will just move on from this. I have been trying to control things about myself in terms of blurting things out when I am nervous or trying to hard. I will just relax and let it be. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 2, 2018 Share Posted September 2, 2018 I agree he was just being polite and professional, so stop trying to read into it. Yes, I will just move on from this. I have been trying to control things about myself in terms of blurting things out when I am nervous or trying to hard. I will just relax and let it be. That's a good start! Sounds like you are enjoying your new job. Hope things are going great. Link to post Share on other sites
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