Pamelita Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 Been in a long distance relationship with this guy for 2 years and a half now. He did say it's unfair that his keeping me when he can't promise when he can come and actually see me. I understood that his just a simple person and I like him a lot. What I need to understand is, yes I am very special and important to him. Then he says lets see how all these goes? And he says things would have been different only if we were in the same city and same country as he would want us to live together only if things weren't so complicated. We do talk every day and he calls me a lot. But things are still fuzzy then he tells me he hates being pressured. I need help decipher my situation. His a foreigner that's why I'm having hard time understanding his behavior. Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 Have you ever met? Is there any kind of plan to close the distance? If not this is just a big fantasy waste of time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 How often do you see each other? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pamelita Posted August 29, 2018 Author Share Posted August 29, 2018 @d0nnivain he says he wants to come soon!!! but no dates yet, just soon!!! @Veronica73 we do video calls each day... but personally no i haven't met him yet. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 After 2 years, "soon" for a first meet is insane. This guy is stringing you along with a bunch of empty promises. What is stopping you from going to him, just to force the 1st meet? Pick a date, buy a plane ticket, reserve a hotel & a rental car . . . viola, problem addressed. It's still not solved because you are never going to have a conventional relationship where you actually see each other. Go find a local BF you can see, touch, hug & kiss. You will be much happier. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pamelita Posted August 29, 2018 Author Share Posted August 29, 2018 I did ask him how he wants us to end and he said " together obviously " .... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pamelita Posted August 29, 2018 Author Share Posted August 29, 2018 @d0nnivain thank you, you helped a lot! visa by the way is hard to get here where I'm at... so it would be a lot easier if he comes first... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 I did ask him how he wants us to end and he said " together obviously " .... If you haven't been able to meet once in two years, it's likely never going to happen. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 If you haven't been able to meet once in two years, it's likely never going to happen. I concur. If you have to push much and its been 2 years, he doesn't care about you. You will be waiting forever. I know you do not want to hear this, but take advice from someone who did a LDR (met online), so much better to date close distance and there are a lot of guys out there. The guy didn't give you craps about me and if I hadn't gone down to visit him, he never would have. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 Personally, I wouldn’t waste anymore of your time. But I don’t get long distance relationships in general. I can see it if you were already dating in person, and then had to be long distance temporarily because of life circumstances. But I don’t believe you can really know someone if you don’t spend time with them in person. I don’t see how if you guys really wanted to be together, you wouldn’t have already met several times by now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pamelita Posted August 30, 2018 Author Share Posted August 30, 2018 (edited) @I'veseenbetterlol @Veronica73 @ExpatInItaly @d0nnivain Truth really does hurt does it!!! But yeah I've prepared myself to hear the most honest rebuttal... Thank you all I really appreciate your inputs!!! Edited August 30, 2018 by Pamelita 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 You can keep talking to him if you like but date somebody local. You will be MUCH happier. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pamelita Posted August 30, 2018 Author Share Posted August 30, 2018 @d0nnivain Thank you so much, again i appreciate all your inputs. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 I've had a few long distance relationships. If you haven't even met, it's not a relationship, IMO - it's a delusional fantasy. If you have met and spent time together, and want to be together, IMO that must happen in no more than 12-18 months, or again, it's a delusional fantasy. The problem with such fantasies, is that they prevent you from seeking a real, substantive relationship while you're wasting your time. Besides, once you meet, you may not even be attracted to each other! I've met women with whom I've chatted and video-chatted extensively, only to find that in person, there is NO chemistry. IMO, move on. It's long past time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pamelita Posted August 31, 2018 Author Share Posted August 31, 2018 (edited) @central Thank you central! I appreciate the honesty. Edited August 31, 2018 by Pamelita Link to post Share on other sites
Whodatdog Posted September 1, 2018 Share Posted September 1, 2018 The only way a long distance relationship will work is if there is an end to the long distance. I dont see that here. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts