Ex-boyfriend wrote lies about me in an email "me" as another person

[Pamela]

Some of you might recall the revenge story I posted last week about leading an ex boyfriend on about a work proposition which he fell for.

 

Anyhow, for almost a year I have been corresponding with him by email under the name of Luisa. (You may think this is ridiculous and immature to be doing, but we never had closure)I first wrote to him asking him for advice on working in Austria as a singer, as I told him I had seen his web-page and wanted advice. He responded and gave me advice 'n stuff.

 

We've written back and forth, mainly about music for the last ten months, but this last month I pretended I was going to Austria on a tour. He wasn't going to be there at the time, but he gave me a few pointers and even some names of some agents to contact.

 

I just wrote him an email a few days ago saying that I bumped into his ex-girlfriend "Pamela" at an audition there and that "she" asked me for his address and number, but I wanted to ask him first. He responeded by saying he was relieved I didn't give it to him because I was a crazy and dangerous woman.

 

I emailed him back about business stuff and also asked him how "Pamela" was crazy and what she had done, adding that I had had a very positive encounter with her.

 

What he wrote back shocked and angered me because it was a bunch of lies saying that he had ended the relationship 8 years ago when it is almost 4 years since it ended. Then he said that I had gone to the school of his daugher, taken her to the park and told her a bunch of sexual things that had happened between us! (I bumped into his daughter near the area where her school was once and just said hi to her and asked her how things were going and to say hi to her father for me)

 

He even went as far as to say that I threatened to take his daugher and jump off a balcony with her if he left me. It was true, I acted hysterically once, but I NEVER ever threatened him in any way involving his child.

 

Then he blamed me for having spoken to opera directors all across Austria and Germany about him, with that being the reason why he couldn't get work in those countries! (the real reason was that he had lost his voice and wasn't singing well, and couldn't come to terms with reality)Can you believe it? I never even worked in any theatres in those countries, nor did I speak the language well when I passed through!

 

He goes on to say,"Her psychology is very disturbing and not rational, a nymphomaniac (he was the one who was perverted and kinky. HE taught me all the "tricks")

 

I can't believe he wrote almost two pages of lies to a "person" he doesn't even know from Adam all about ME! The headline of the email read as follows (in bold letters):

 

ALL THIS INFORMATIONS ARE TOP SECRET FOR YOU!!! SAY NOTHING FROM THIS WORDS TO PAMELA OR OTHER PERSONS...

 

I had a very good relationship with his daughter whom he introduced to me while we were going together. I taught both of them English after school and she really had a fondness for me, as she even called me "Auntie Pamela".

 

I know for a fact that his daughter would never "testify" against me and this really angers me.

 

It just baffles me how someone who loved me with such passion (it was kind of like the movie "SIX WEEKS" but it lasted a year and a half)can harbour such vile feelings of hatered and dislike for me. How can you explain this?

 

He's made me out to be like the Glenn Close character in FATAL ATTRACTION and this is just not right! What can I do to proove that I am not crazy? It just bothers me that he has this psychotic opinion about me, not taking into consideration the effects of how he treated me at the time.

[Pamela]

Some of you might recall the revenge story I posted last week about leading an ex boyfriend on about a work proposition which he fell for.

 

Anyhow, for almost a year I have been corresponding with him by email under the name of Luisa. (You may think this is ridiculous and immature to be doing, but we never had closure)I first wrote to him asking him for advice on working in Austria as a singer, as I told him I had seen his web-page and wanted advice. He responded and gave me advice 'n stuff. We've written back and forth, mainly about music for the last ten months, but this last month I pretended I was going to Austria on a tour. He wasn't going to be there at the time, but he gave me a few pointers and even some names of some agents to contact. I just wrote him an email a few days ago saying that I bumped into his ex-girlfriend "Pamela" at an audition there and that "she" asked me for his address and number, but I wanted to ask him first. He responeded by saying he was relieved I didn't give it to him because I was a crazy and dangerous woman. I emailed him back about business stuff and also asked him how "Pamela" was crazy and what she had done, adding that I had had a very positive encounter with her. What he wrote back shocked and angered me because it was a bunch of lies saying that he had ended the relationship 8 years ago when it is almost 4 years since it ended. Then he said that I had gone to the school of his daugher, taken her to the park and told her a bunch of sexual things that had happened between us! (I bumped into his daughter near the area where her school was once and just said hi to her and asked her how things were going and to say hi to her father for me) He even went as far as to say that I threatened to take his daugher and jump off a balcony with her if he left me. It was true, I acted hysterically once, but I NEVER ever threatened him in any way involving his child. Then he blamed me for having spoken to opera directors all across Austria and Germany about him, with that being the reason why he couldn't get work in those countries! (the real reason was that he had lost his voice and wasn't singing well, and couldn't come to terms with reality)Can you believe it? I never even worked in any theatres in those countries, nor did I speak the language well when I passed through! He goes on to say,"Her psychology is very disturbing and not rational, a nymphomaniac (he was the one who was perverted and kinky. HE taught me all the "tricks") I can't believe he wrote almost two pages of lies to a "person" he doesn't even know from Adam all about ME! The headline of the email read as follows (in bold letters): ALL THIS INFORMATIONS ARE TOP SECRET FOR YOU!!! SAY NOTHING FROM THIS WORDS TO PAMELA OR OTHER PERSONS... I had a very good relationship with his daughter whom he introduced to me while we were going together. I taught both of them English after school and she really had a fondness for me, as she even called me "Auntie Pamela". I know for a fact that his daughter would never "testify" against me and this really angers me. It just baffles me how someone who loved me with such passion (it was kind of like the movie "SIX WEEKS" but it lasted a year and a half)can harbour such vile feelings of hatered and dislike for me. How can you explain this?

 

He's made me out to be like the Glenn Close character in FATAL ATTRACTION and this is just not right! What can I do to proove that I am not crazy? It just bothers me that he has this psychotic opinion about me, not taking into consideration the effects of how he treated me at the time.

 

[Tony T]

It sounds to me like he knows Luisa and Pamela are one in the same person. When he gets the Email from either one of them, he can easily see it's from the same ISP number. All that information appears at the end of the Email. I'm sure he's not so dumb.

 

But let's say he is. What he thinks about Pamela is pretty immaterial at this point. If Pamela has any self esteem whatsoever, she won't let Luisa have anymore to do with him either. She will let this guy know she and Pamela are one in the same person and he's got a lot of nerve.

 

Now that you see what kind of person he is, to waste another minute even thinking about him is pretty lame. Cut this infantile foolishness and go find yourself a quality relationship.

 

I can understand your anger but you need to feel what you feel, take some responsibility yourself for even being involved in this crap, and just get over it. His behavior and madness is NOT your responsibility.

 

Move on to something more productive in your life and find a guy with some ethics. Of course, your own ethics are borderline. You ought to make it a practice of dealing with people fairly online. After this experience, I hope you will make some major changes in the way you conduct relationships on and off line. Learn from this and become a better person.

[sparkle]

When your ex said that you were a crazy and dangerous woman, I HONESTLY do not think he was lying. Although it's just my opinion, I feel the exact same way he does after reading this post.

 

First of all, I have been following along with some of the posts you have written, and some of the situations have sounded very ridiculous to me. I keep wondering why a normal woman would do some of these things, and deal with certain situations in the way you have been doing.

 

But after reading this post, I now realize my mistake. All along I was wondering why a "normal woman" would do such a thing. But it looks like there are a lot of issues that you are faced with, most of which you have brought upon yourself. I urge you to seek professional help. I doubt that this message board will be able to provide you with the help that you need.

 

Having said that, I have a few comments here and there about what you wrote:

Anyhow, for almost a year I have been corresponding with him by email under the name of Luisa. (You may think this is ridiculous and immature to be doing, but we never had closure)I first wrote

You never had closure? What the heck do you mean?? Are you saying that using a fake identity with him now to try to get revenge on him will bring closure? I really do not understand.

 

Also in an earlier post you mentioned that you were doing this to get back at your ex. NOW HOW THE HECK CAN YOU EVEN GET UPSET ABOUT WHAT HE'S WRITTEN TO "LUISA"!?!?!?!?!?!

 

What comes around goes around. And when it gets back around to you, it's a lot worse than what you dished out in the first place. Remember, YOU and YOU ONLY brought all this upon yourself.

 

1. If you had not used this secret identity with him, you would not be communicating with him at all. You would have moved on by now, stopped wasting your time on him, and maybe have met a wonderful guy.

 

Not only should you see a counselor or psychiatrist, you could also use a course or two on time-management skills.

 

2. Again, you ("Luisa") were the one to tell him that you ran into you (Pamela). That's basically asking for it. You knew damn well that by mentioning this to him, you would get a response back from him. And you knew all too well that he would comment about you. You ASKED FOR IT. If you cannot handle an answer, then WHY ASK THE QUESTION???????

 

So it is 100% your fault for trying to get revenge on him, and expecting things to go great. Guess what, it backfired. It never fails to happen. When you set out to hurt someone deliberately, you will get what you deserve...you will be the one to suffer in the end. It may not happen that moment or that day or that week, but it will happen..sooner or later. And in your case, it looks like it's now.

to ask him first. He responeded by saying he was relieved I didn't give it to him because I was a crazy and dangerous woman.

A woman that fakes an identity to keep in contact with an ex for such a long time afterward, sounds pretty nutty to me.

is almost 4 years since it ended. Then he said that I had gone to the school of his daugher, taken her to the park and told her a bunch of sexual things that had happened between us! (I bumped into his daughter near the area where her school was once and just said hi to her and asked her how things were going and to say hi to her father for me)

I am really beginning to wonder what in the world really happened at the area near his daughter's school/at the park. I actually believe him. Why would you goto your ex's daughter's school, and then tell his daughter to say hi to her father for you? If you wanted to say hi, why not just call him up yourself and say hello?

He even went as far as to say that I threatened to take his daugher and jump off a balcony with her if he left me. It was true, I acted hysterically once, but I NEVER ever threatened him in any way involving his child.

OKAYYYYYYYYYYYY These above two sentences were actually the ones that completely changed my opinion today. You state "It was true, I acted hysterically once"...wait a minute, you mean you actually threatened to jump off a balcony if he left you?????

 

Now that is both crazy AND dangerous. Any person that threatens to do such a disturbing act is in need of professional help. I'm sorry but...normal people just do not do things like this. And you said, "It was true...". So what really did happen?

Then he blamed me for having spoken to opera directors all across Austria and Germany about him, with that being the reason why he couldn't get work in those countries! (the real reason was that he had lost his voice and wasn't singing well, and couldn't come to terms with reality)Can you believe it?

SO???? Let him think what he wants. WHY DO YOU CARE?

 

Does it really bother you that your ex went and told "you"/Luisa that you were the one to blame? Heck, Luisa isn't a real person, REMEMBER????? Who is she going to tell? She's not going to go around and spread rumors about you? So why does it matter to you?

He goes on to say,"Her psychology is very disturbing and not rational,

Again, from what I have read above, I have to agree with him 200%. Please do not be upset though, I know it must be difficult for you. And most people with psychological problems never realize that they do indeed have these problems. Don't worry though, hopefully once you seek help, you will be able to overcome them.

I can't believe he wrote almost two pages of lies to a "person" he doesn't even know from Adam all about ME!

You should be happy! Aren't you glad that he was telling these lies to a person that doesn't exist? See...nothing to be upset about.

 

The headline of the

email read as follows (in bold letters): ALL THIS INFORMATIONS ARE TOP SECRET FOR YOU!!! SAY NOTHING FROM THIS WORDS TO PAMELA OR OTHER PERSONS...

It sounds like maybe he knows your trick already, and is playing with your mind. Maybe he knows you're Pamela, and he wrote the above to throw you off. Sounds like it to me.

It just baffles me how someone who loved me with such passion (it was kind of like the movie "SIX WEEKS" but it lasted a year and a half)can harbour such vile feelings of hatered and dislike for me. How can you explain this?

It just baffles ME how someone who YOU loved with such passion and lasted a year and a half can harbour such vile feelings of hatred and dislike for HIM. How can YOU explain this? And because of your hatred and dislike for him, you went as far as trying to seek revenge by making this fake identity.

What can I do to proove that I am not crazy?

How?

 

First, you cut off all correspondence between "Luisa" and your ex.

 

Second, you get rid of "Luisa" and you get rid of trying to seek revenge on him and ruin his life.

 

Third, you stop thinking about him, and move on with your life.

 

Fourth, you seek professional help immediately. The sooner, the better. And make sure you ask them to discuss the possibility of a multiple personality disorder...don't forget to tell them about "Luisa".

[Pamela]

It sounds to me like he knows Luisa and Pamela are one in the same person. When he gets the Email from either one of them, he can easily see it's from the same ISP number. All that information appears at the end of the Email. I'm sure he's not so dumb.

 

I never wrote him an email as Pamela.

Move on to something more productive in your life and find a guy with some ethics. Of course, your own ethics are borderline. You ought to make it a practice of dealing with people fairly online.

 

Are you referring to the other fake identity I made up for him on-line? or do you mean I've been unfair on this forum?

[Pamela]

When your ex said that you were a crazy and dangerous woman, I HONESTLY do not think he was lying. Although it's just my opinion, I feel the exact same way he does after reading this post.

 

When people say "you are crazy" sometimes it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. I can't explain this well, but what I mean is that sometimes it is really easy to "frame" someone as being a nut just because they cried hysterically once, or lost control of their emotions. This can happen to anybody during a crisis. At that particular moment the behaviour could have looked "crazy" (uncontrollable sobbing)but it doesn't mean that the person stays that way all the time.

First of all, I have been following along with some of the posts you have written, and some of the situations have sounded very ridiculous to me.

 

It is true that I am a bit wierd. That's just the way I am.

Also in an earlier post you mentioned that you were doing this to get back at your ex. NOW HOW THE HECK CAN YOU EVEN GET UPSET ABOUT WHAT HE'S WRITTEN TO "LUISA"!?!?!?!?!?!

 

I was trying to get him to understand the same pain I went through and the only way I thought I could do it was by inventing a false job offer.

What comes around goes around. And when it gets back around to you, it's a lot worse than what you dished out in the first place. Remember, YOU and YOU ONLY brought all this upon yourself.

 

He still has alot of unfinished business with other people he ripped off and borrowed money from in Poland, including another woman he was briefly involved with who he used, borrowed a thousand dollars from, then disappeared. (At least I never gave him any money! I didn't have any to give)

 

So, I'm curious to see how all that will "come around" to him later.

1. If you had not used this secret identity with him, you would not be communicating with him at all. You would have moved on by now, stopped wasting your time on him, and maybe have met a wonderful guy.

 

Maybe. I have a bad habit of dwelling in the past. If I didn't have a photographic memory, it would be easier to forget things, but unfortunately, I am cursed with an excellent memory for detail and dialogue.

Not only should you see a counselor or psychiatrist, you could also use a course or two on time-management skills.

 

DO you think I waste too much time fussing about all this?

2. Again, you ("Luisa") were the one to tell him that you ran into you (Pamela). That's basically asking for it. You knew damn well that by mentioning this to him, you would get a response back from him. And you knew all too well that he would comment about you. You ASKED FOR IT. If you cannot handle an answer, then WHY ASK THE QUESTION???????

 

Okay, fair enough. I'm glad I asked the question

So it is 100% your fault for trying to get revenge on him, and expecting things to go great.

 

I didn't expent anything great. Just wanted to see how much he hated me.

Guess what, it backfired. It never fails to happen. When you set out to hurt someone deliberately, you will get what you deserve...you will be the one to suffer in the end.

 

How was I setting out to hurt him as "Luisa"?

A woman that fakes an identity to keep in contact with an ex for such a long time afterward, sounds pretty nutty to me.

 

Look around you. I'm not the only one who did this here.

I am really beginning to wonder what in the world really happened at the area near his daughter's school/at the park. I actually believe him. Why would you goto your ex's daughter's school, and then tell his daughter to say hi to her father for you? If you wanted to say hi, why not just call him up yourself and say hello?

 

I bumped into her on the street. If you don't believe me here I'm not going to waste time trying to proove it otherwise.

OKAYYYYYYYYYYYY These above two sentences were actually the ones that completely changed my opinion today. You state "It was true, I acted hysterically once"...wait a minute, you mean you actually threatened to jump off a balcony if he left you?????

 

I cried uncontrollably once when we had gotten into a fight and he was really cold and nasty, but never threatend to jump off a balcony.

Again, from what I have read above, I have to agree with him 200%. Please do not be upset though, I know it must be difficult for you. And most people with psychological problems never realize that they do indeed have these problems.

 

I know I have problems. Why would I be writing on this forum if I didn't. You also have to consider that I was not solely to blame for what happened between him and I (I'm not talking about this recent email). Other people that knew both him and I saw what kind of a person he was(A professional Gigolo with only one talent, in his underwear..), but they didn't tell me until after.

It just baffles ME how someone who YOU loved with such passion and lasted a year and a half can harbour such vile feelings of hatred and dislike for HIM.

 

I don't.

[Sierrasugar]

You seem like you are still obsessed with this guy. Like he is some rock star who slept with you and now wants nothing to do with him and now four years later you are stalking him. Give it up already!!!