What do girls want relationships for ?

[LordVader]

Like how much is friendship vs sexual ?

 

 

 

What do couples even do all the time ? Most people already have friends to hangout with.

[Logo]

I get the impression, and I could be wrong, that most women who define themselves as independent these days just want a trophy guy they can show off -- especially to other women -- and who's good in bed. That goes for the women whose career defines them. Sometimes when they're lonely or need companionship, they will seek out men.

 

For others, a man is a sugar daddy.

 

That wasn't too cynical, was it?

 

 

Find me a woman who marries a man these days out of sheer love, whatever love means anymore. Today's generation doesn't even know what love means. They love money, they love themselves, they love their shoes, cars, jewelry, but that's about it.

[Aveenolover]

I love relationships because I like having my one partner in crime. Someone I can share my life with and go on adventures together or stay inside and play games/watch movies. And the sex is an added bonus:)

[BaileyB]

I get the impression, and I could be wrong, that most women who define themselves as independent these days just want a trophy guy they can show off -- especially to other women -- and who's good in bed. That goes for the women whose career defines them. Sometimes when they're lonely or need companionship, they will seek out men.

 

For others, a man is a sugar daddy.

 

That wasn't too cynical, was it?

 

 

Find me a woman who marries a man these days out of sheer love, whatever love means anymore. Today's generation doesn't even know what love means. They love money, they love themselves, they love their shoes, cars, jewelry, but that's about it.

 

If that has been your experience, you are dating the wrong women. We are not all like that...

[d0nnivain]

Women want relationships for the same reasons men do: fun, companionship, sex, comfort, support, etc.

 

The best relationships combine the best aspects of deep friendship with sexual gratification. You need to be able to laugh & cry together.

[Lotsgoingon]

I get the impression, and I could be wrong, that most women who define themselves as independent these days just want a trophy guy they can show off -- especially to other women -- and who's good in bed. That goes for the women whose career defines them. Sometimes when they're lonely or need companionship, they will seek out men.

 

For others, a man is a sugar daddy.

 

That wasn't too cynical, was it?

 

 

Find me a woman who marries a man these days out of sheer love, whatever love means anymore. Today's generation doesn't even know what love means. They love money, they love themselves, they love their shoes, cars, jewelry, but that's about it.

 

The vast, vast majority all relationships and marriages are between people from a very similar financial background and income.

[nospam99]

Reading all the replies so far, I guess no one wants to have a family anymore? Not that it should be a sufficient reason by itself to have a 'relationship'. But I found it strange that no one mentioned it until I just did.

[preraph]

^ Oh, yes, of course. Women especially like to "play house." Some women wait for a relationship to do things, when they really shouldn't put doing those things off. Like travel or whatever. Women should go do stuff on their own, but they get this idea of marriage and partnership where you're supposed to do it all together. I think it's a waste. Just saying. But sure, lots of women want a guy to live with and have that second person there who makes them feel protected and someone who shows they care by being helpful, just as guys do.

[Lotsgoingon]

Like how much is friendship vs sexual ?

 

What do couples even do all the time ? Most people already have friends to hangout with.

 

Back to the OP! ... Yes, good romance also requires friendship. You ever tried long-term dating with someone you don't really enjoy spending time with? Or someone you don't really trust?

[anduina]

Like how much is friendship vs sexual ?

 

 

 

What do couples even do all the time ? Most people already have friends to hangout with.

Do you always perceive people in terms of utility to you?

[Logo]

The vast, vast majority all relationships and marriages are between people from a very similar financial background and income.

 

Really?

 

I’d like to see some credible statistics on that.

 

And let’s not pretend that we live in a post-racial world, either.

 

The vast, vast majority of all relationships are between people of the same race, ethnic background, religion, skin color and social status.

 

Yeah, I can see it now, the WASPy financial adviser marrying the Catholic construction company owner.

 

Sure.

 

I hate it when people say, “Ahh don’t worry, there are plenty of fish in the sea, or at least 3.5 billion women in the world.”

 

No! There aren’t. The options are limited.

 

And while we’re on the subject, perhaps you can explain how come a lot of less than average looking men, who dress in poor taste are with gorgeous women?

 

Did he show her his Lamborghini and she suddenly developed a deep sense of affinity for him? Or does he have the sense of humor of a stand-up comedian while being a boring **** when you actually strike up a conversation with him?

 

I don’t know, perhaps those women are psychos. Perhaps they’re not relationship material.

[Logo]

Do you always perceive people in terms of utility to you?

 

This ain’t the 60s anymore.

 

Relationships are based on, “What does he bring to the table and will my parents approve?”

 

It’s money first, then sex, then looks, then personality, then values and morals, if at all.

 

Even on these boards, women write one thing while believing in something else because they’re too embarrassed to admit to themselves where their priorities stand.

 

Women love to rationalize.

[basil67]

This ain’t the 60s anymore.

 

Relationships are based on, “What does he bring to the table and will my parents approve?”

 

It’s money first, then sex, then looks, then personality, then values and morals, if at all.

 

Even on these boards, women write one thing while believing in something else because they’re too embarrassed to admit to themselves where their priorities stand.

 

Women love to rationalize.

 

This is certainly the way it was back in the Victorian times. Except sex was probably last on the list. Women needed a man to house them and give children and men needed a woman who would look after their domestic needs. Both needed a partner who had similar status.

 

Now that women are earning good incomes, a man's money is less important. Though it's not often you see a high flying career woman marrying a man who's not tertiary educated.

[lana-banana]

Lotsgoingon is correct. There isn't a ton of research on the subject, but as far as the US is concerned, marriage is A) increasingly common amongst wealthier couples, while poorer couples don't marry and B) increasingly limited to people of similar backgrounds. Here's a little. The NYT has covered this a lot.

 

Anyway, money is unlikely to be in anyone's top five considerations. Before I was married I looked for men with whom I could have a great conversation, men who were thoughtful and not just book smart, men who were fun to be with, and men who didn't want kids. That was pretty much all I was looking for. Long-term relationships are about companionship, so you want somebody who you'll enjoy being with even when you or he is in a bad mood. If you can survive a long car trip together and actually enjoy the experience, you've found someone special indeed. One of my favorite perks about marriage is a lot of everyday dull or frustrating moments become much more pleasant, since I share them with someone I love to be with. It sounds corny but it's true.

[jesjen]

It's various i guess. Some of my girl friends has been very attatched to the sexual part while others have been most focused on the emotionel part of the realationship. It's difficult to say some generel here i think.

[ExpatInItaly]

This ain’t the 60s anymore.

 

Relationships are based on, “What does he bring to the table and will my parents approve?”

 

It’s money first, then sex, then looks, then personality, then values and morals, if at all.

 

Even on these boards, women write one thing while believing in something else because they’re too embarrassed to admit to themselves where their priorities stand.

 

Women love to rationalize.

 

You've been rejected a lot, I take it.

[todreaminblue]

speaking only for myself ....a relationship with a man if i see one is to share my life with that guy....to involve him in all aspects of my life.....my family....myself..to let him really know who i am......to share my friends.....to be his best friend...to eventually be his lover...to be his confidante .....to be someone who supports him....to share his dreams.....to travel with...... to stay home with.....to go out with..to cry with to laugh with ....to have fun with....to dream with.....to plan with...to have common goals with....to stay true too....to hopefully marry....to enjoy life with till death and further.....when i said i speak for myself...i feel many women would want this ...they want to share life with a man who loves them ....and they want to ...share it all...with love.......deb

[ppc]

In the last weeks I was thinking about that how a perfect relationship would look like for me.

I don't want somebody to be center of my universe. I am a whole as I am, and I am not looking for an other half but for somebody who loves me with all my insecurities, all my duties, all my faults. Who loves me as I am. Who supports me through difficult times, and who is happy with me during great times. I want a partner in crime with I can have fun with, go on adventures, explore the world. Somebody who is on the same intellectual level as me. Somebody who is my best friend. Somebody who I can share true passion and sexuality with.

Somebody who will look at me that I am the only one.

 

And I wanna be this "somebody" for somebody too.

[mortensorchid]

It varies depending on your age, situation and circumstances. After all, a woman in her 70s does not have the same priorities as a woman in her 20s, right? And it also depends on the person - some people are users, some people want friendship, etc.

 

On my part I can tell you why I want one why I think most people want one: They don't want to be alone. Do I? No, I don't. I want to be with someone. But I think the majority of people do not want to put the work into it. As many may or may not know, the first 6-9 months that you are with someone is not the true relationship, that's infatuation. Infatuation wears off, and when it does you better like that person that you're with. Not love them, just like them. And if you don't, that's when you're in trouble. Unfortunately that's when a lot of people are going to hear that classic line "I love you, I'm just not IN LOVE with you" because infatuation is gone. And 90% of the time, one dumps the other. In my case it's usually the man will dump me because he doesn't know what to do once infatuation has worn off, or he doesn't want to take it to the next level because this is boring, or because he is too insecure or whatever else. And he ends up rebounding and ends up with someone who is not right for them at all because it's a rebound and he didn't see it that way.

 

Now let's assume that it's worn off, and you DO like that person. Well, now what? Now you have a relationship. And that relationship is going to be based on mutual love, respect and tolerance. And I am here to tell you that that's hard to do. All kinds of long term relationships are hard - be they friendship, marriage, love, working relationships, family, sibling, parent/child, etc. Because you all go through so much and change and whatever else. And some people quit on it. Which is fine but they will give up when things get hard on every level.

 

How to deal? Tolerance. Long term relationships are based on tolerance because there are a lot of little things about a person that can bother you. You have to want to stay together, and laugh as much as you can with and at each other.

 

Sounds simple doesn't it? Guess what, it is. But people choose other things for themselves rather than the practical.

[anduina]

This ain’t the 60s anymore.

I don't know what this means since I'm a Millennial.

 

Relationships are based on, “What does he bring to the table and will my parents approve?”

 

It’s money first, then sex, then looks, then personality, then values and morals, if at all.

 

Even on these boards, women write one thing while believing in something else because they’re too embarrassed to admit to themselves where their priorities stand.

 

Women love to rationalize.

Are you female? If not, how would you know what women think? Have you never been in love before, sufficient to understand the softer emotions?

[Logo]

I don't know what this means since I'm a Millennial.

 

Are you female? If not, how would you know what women think? Have you never been in love before, sufficient to understand the softer emotions?

 

 

I know how most women behave as opposed to all the lies they tell.

 

Where’s the face-palm emoji when I need it?

Edited September 2, 2018 by Logo

[Logo]

You've been rejected a lot, I take it.

 

Your avoidant response proves my point.

Edited September 2, 2018 by Logo