Accepting Dates vs Turning Down Dates

[Mysterio]

This is for the Ladies for the most part.

 

Who do you think has a chance to go out with you on a date?

 

A Stranger that you have no repore with or have noticed in any way.

 

Or someone at your work place/Gym/School etc that you have talked to at least 4 times in conversation.

 

When you go out with the man. What are your expectations? dinner and conversations. Physical affections of some sort. Casual and slowly learning about each other.

 

Do you want to know most about him up front, or slowly peel away to know about him.

 

I ask this because I feel when I see the various posts by men, that the men that want to settle down with one woman. The Men are doing way too much. Or are asking women that they have no repore with.

 

These days, unless you are Online dating. Its almost futlle to ask women out on dates, some women are very ambiguous about their personal status. In other words. You don't know if they are taken or not. Be they Married or are with a SO/BF living together or not.

[preraph]

I dated mostly before internet, but I liked most going out with someone I'd seen around and had a couple of conversations with who I already knew I had something in common with.

 

Online, I went out on a couple of nondating site dates with people I'd become friends with on a common interest forum. Going out with someone you don't even know if you share any interest is probably a waste of time, especially for women, whose number one priority isn't usually sex.

[Els]

What on earth is a "repore"???

[d0nnivain]

I think he means rapport, but spelled it phonetically [sic] "repore".

 

Anyway, Mysterio -- in my case, neither. I'm married. But in reality it depended on how handsome I thought he was. Really there is not much more to it then that. If I thought the guy was attractive, it didn't really matter to me if I had seen him before or if he just started talking to me. Unless he was boorish, I would be open to talking more & going out on a date if I thought he was handsome.

 

I learned over the years through trial & awkward error that I need that instant spark / chemistry / lust whatever. While that could grow over time into love, respect & more, if it was absent from the beginning, I could not manufacturer it no matter how good or interesting the guy. I just couldn't bring myself to kiss some guy who didn't do it for me & when I tried to force that, I'd end up acting all weird & hurting the guy's feelings. It was better to say no thank you as kindly as possible in the beginning.

[Mysterio]

When I go out dating. The most I would ever get physically is a Kiss. I can't imagine Sex would come, unless we are really into each other and even then.

 

I also think its hard to always be super sparked up about a partner of date all the time.

 

When Lovers get together. They are on a high and then chill out and go back up again. Its like a movie or music. After a time you adapt to the person. Then the ups and downs or just being in the middle plateau.

[basil67]

A Stranger that you have no repore with or have noticed in any way.

 

Or someone at your work place/Gym/School etc that you have talked to at least 4 times in conversation.

 

 

Back when I was dating...

 

Certainly not the first guy. Not someone from the gym because the gym isn't social. The others possibly, but I'd be far more likely to meet someone in a social situation.

 

Also, talking to someone at least 4 times doesn't mean that a rapport has been built. I could have talked with them 4 times and found them as dull as ditch water. Rapport can be built really quickly with the right person. Easy, flowing conversation in 5 minutes at a party would be enough.

[todreaminblue]

I have dated strangers and guys i dont know well and its not my style..i dont date for the sake of dating someone...i date to form an intimate relationship with soemone i see a deeper connection with..ill give unknowns a chance though.

 

the most fulfilling dates i have had have been from friends first...where i know the guy pretty well to see something developing further...and i have never been really wrong about a relationship developing....there's always been a pretty altruistic interest in common with guys i date....i really cant date a guy who isnt charitable towards others....and really obvious common grounds...similar beliefs...the relationships that i work on and pursue.....are long lasting.....deb

[KatCha]

I would prefer to meet someone through hobbies, class, (probably not work-just depends if it's meant to be), or mutual friends, church, social functions-but as one person pointed out above-sometimes you meet random people who are attractive or you just mesh well with right away. But from my experience-they can be dangerous.

I like the idea of a slow forming relationship. Something where there is no pressure from the start, you can just take your time getting to know and see how the other person feels about you. Like an old fashioned courtship or something. Everything is so fast nowadays. If we could just take our time without jumping into bed or cramming marriage down someone's throat, we'd know without asking the other person if they like us or not. With time, comes awareness that the other person does or does not like you that way.

[Mysterio]

Courtship is missing in todays relationship. My EX-GF. She was aggiatated with me around month 5, because I was not gung ho about having kids.

 

She is single now and expecting a child through invitro and I think she is in that position because, she does not know how to nurture the men she gets involved with. Its all about having a child is her agenda. Nothing wrong with that, but the loving giving part is not really there and maintained.