my bestfriend ignoring me

[fmly]

i have a bestfriend, and i really love her. We've been in this friendship since 6th grade, now we're in college. i'm the type of person who have many friends, but when it comes to "bestfriend" i only have one. we were always together, but now we're in different city. at first, we still remain close, she sometimes visit me. Now, she move to further city because she had a grade problem with her university. I'm really sad for her, i kept encouraging her and gave my best advices to her for facing her new university. but, idk, did i say something wrong? why just now she keep ignoring my phone calls, my text. Recently i see her on instagram, posting something like "fake people". Seeing that makes my mind going crazy. I keep asking my self, is that for me? what were i saying? did i say something wrong?

now i feel completly alone, it's like i don't have bestfriend anymore.

p.s.: sorry for my bad english.

[d0nnivain]

Your English is fine.

 

Your friend is struggling. What you see as encouragement about her grades was probably received by her as insults. She may have perceived you to be lecturing her & treating her like you are her parent, telling her what to do.

 

College also changes people. She may have discovered new ideas & people that are taking her away from you.

 

Although you still consider her to be your best friend, she may not feel the same way.

 

When I started college my relationship with one of my best friends since 2nd grade hit a rough patch. I went away to university. She stayed home & went to work. She was jealous that I was having new adventures. She felt left out & abandoned so she pushed me away. We made up but there was a strain in our relationship until I moved home for grad school. By then we were both more mature & able to handle the new dynamic of our relationship

[fmly]

Your English is fine.

 

Your friend is struggling. What you see as encouragement about her grades was probably received by her as insults. She may have perceived you to be lecturing her & treating her like you are her parent, telling her what to do.

 

College also changes people. She may have discovered new ideas & people that are taking her away from you.

 

Although you still consider her to be your best friend, she may not feel the same way.

 

When I started college my relationship with one of my best friends since 2nd grade hit a rough patch. I went away to university. She stayed home & went to work. She was jealous that I was having new adventures. She felt left out & abandoned so she pushed me away. We made up but there was a strain in our relationship until I moved home for grad school. By then we were both more mature & able to handle the new dynamic of our relationship

Thank you for replying this and sharing your thoughts.

Does it look like that? I once asked my self "did i push her by saying that?", "was she gonna understand that what i told her is only for her goodness?" but I push all the thoughts aside and tell my opinion for what's best for her.

I tried to call her, but she didn't pick up, instead calling me back, she posted on instagram about her "new" friend in her previous university, she said "dear x, I'm so grateful for having you".

Well, suddenly I feel like a mess, who am I to her? is it just me who calling her as my bestfriend? why does she treat me like this

fyi, I do have great friends in my college, i think we're close enough though, but somehow in our friendship I'm the one who's listening to their problems, sharing my thoughts and giving my best solution that i can give. But when it comes to my problem I think they don't really care. So here comes the loneliness.

 

I think that every friendships that I've made were only one way, it's me to them, they're not into me. Same goes with my bestfriend, but i really love her, because we're always together since a long time ago, we're really clicked. I guess it's always my fault when it comes to this kind of problem. My friends in here, eventhough we're in the same circle of friendship, they got at least one friend that truly love them, they all do, except me. Poor me.

 

Thanks for sharing yours, are you guys still a bestfriend for each other by now?

[d0nnivain]

Thanks for sharing yours, are you guys still a bestfriend for each other by now?

 

We haven't been best friends in almost 20 years. She is still a dear friend. We're still in each other's lives but between marriages, kids, jobs & other responsibilities out relationship changed and evolved. We remain important to each other.