My friend and I had a fight

[Amy In Clouds]

I've known my friend Lex for a few years. He's always been slightly weird, at one point I fell in love with him, declared my feelings, he said he wasn't interested - we moved on. I dated other guys...he doesn't really date anyone and hates questions about his love life. Fine by me.

 

We've gotten especially close in the last year. He's been asking me to hang out, he's offered help numerous times, we went out for dinners, lunches, the cinema - and no - there was no romance involved. I even told him about guys that I've been dating and he's helped me out with some advice.

 

Lex would call me often to complain about his work and career, I helped him out with a presentation at work, he helped me with moving... but every time he would have a problem he would phone me up and I would listen. I didn't really get the same emotional support from him, but he's a weird guy with a good heart and a desire to always slightly provoke me.

 

One time he was complaining about something, I told him what I thought he should do and the following day he phoned me up to tell me my comforting was really bad and he wasn't happy. It was such a surreal comment I just brushed it off.

 

I say this because about a month ago I almost had an accident and I texted him. I needed a bit of support. He didn't respond. I texted him again the following day and asked him if he had seen the text. He said he had but he thought we should discuss it eye to eye. We were also supposed to meet that day so when I asked him when, he said he actually wasn't available on that day. So I texted him: ok, bye. I was very annoyed. To that he responded: is this your final goodbye, cause I am sick of your childish behaviour.

 

I had no idea where this came from as we never really argued before. I told him I thought it was pretty messed up that my friend who calls me whenever he has an issue and scolds me when I don't comfort him in the right way, is now completely ignoring my text about a freakin accident. He said he doesn't feel guilty at all and he thinks he always does the right thing and doesn't like for people to tell him he is wrong. He said I had many good qualities but this was a stupid thing to get upset over and I can think whether I want us to stay friends. He also told me he wants a casual friendship and I can't expect him to answer my text every time.

 

I didn't respond to this. About a month later he blocked me on WhatsApp. What happened? Thanks.

[BaileyB]

He told you, he is a "my way or the highway" kind of guy... And, when you called him out for his poor behavior, things didn't go his way... So, he walked away.

 

I'm sure that you are sorry to lose what you may have considered to be a good friend, but the truth is... he wasn't much of a friend. He was selfish, inconsiderate, condescending, and not supportive. You can, and should, find better friends.

[Zapbasket]

He told you, he is a "my way or the highway" kind of guy... And, when you called him out for his poor behavior, things didn't go his way... So, he walked away.

 

I'm sure that you are sorry to lose what you may have considered to be a good friend, but the truth is... he wasn't much of a friend. He was selfish, inconsiderate, condescending, and not supportive. You can, and should, find better friends.

 

I agree with this 100%, and I was going to say something very similar. You ask what happened? This happened:

He said he doesn't feel guilty at all and he thinks he always does the right thing and doesn't like for people to tell him he is wrong.

 

That kind of attitude is incommensurate with any kind of workable friendship. He's a total cad and a taker. Good riddance. I recently lost a "friend" like this and while it did sting at first, truthfully I feel immense relief! Good friendships are vitiating, not draining. And to be vitiating, there needs to be an easy give and take. You'll never get that with a guy like this. Now you are free to go find a real friend :-)

[preraph]

At least he was honest. He spit it right out: He only wants a casual relationship, nothing with obligations or problem solving (yes, even though he freely used you for that). But now you know who he is, so...sigh.