Springsummer Posted September 3, 2018 Share Posted September 3, 2018 (edited) Just found out this guy is disappeared from my match. I chatted with him a bit because I found he kind of interesting. He is computer engineer and like to draw, kind of like me. He is different that others. normally I wouldn't care or even notice someone disappear. he is so very sincere and don't even mind the age different. He seems not very populous and not experienced with women, but he look fine. He requested meeting I declined, using age as an excuse. I didn't response for god only knows how many days. now he is gone, it kind of make me regret, he seems very nice. I just don't feel the hot. but how many guys I feel hot in my life and nothing really come out of it. what I feel really terrible is I should have never swipe him right twice. (I lost my first account login, we kind of chat in my original account too). I should have never talked to him in the first place because I was bored. I don't know if I really hurt him. and that don't make me feel good about myself. how wrong was I? on the other hand, this other guy I mentioned in this forum never replied me again. I should be like this guy to just disappear on him. but I want to see if I can get a revenge of not replying to him if should he ever reply to me. I feel very hurt by this other guy too. sigh, that's life. The more you want or desire something, the more you hurt yourself. to the degree I worry about my physical health affected by this. nothing really happens or even started yet, but this OLD is like a battlefield already, blood and body parts all over the place. Time for me to quit? but what should I do? I don't have many places to go, know many people. should I just resign to a life of all alone forever? No idea why I am so picky. No idea what's wrong with me. Edited September 3, 2018 by Springsummer Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 3, 2018 Share Posted September 3, 2018 sigh, that's life. The more you want or desire something, the more you hurt yourself. to the degree I worry about my physical health affected by this. No, that's not "life". That's just your own bad decisions and actions. If you act better, "life" will not be like that at all. this OLD is like a battlefield already, blood and body parts all over the place. Time for me to quit? but what should I do? Put down your weapons, stop playing stupid games, look for people you're interested in meeting, and meet them. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted September 3, 2018 Share Posted September 3, 2018 Put down your weapons, stop playing stupid games, look for people you're interested in meeting, and meet them. Exactly. Well said. But if this is your attitude, you should not be dating right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted September 3, 2018 Share Posted September 3, 2018 He requested meeting I declined, using age as an excuse. You declined a meeting and he went away... OLD is not a "penpal" service, it is for dating. I doubt you "hurt him"... I'm sure he enjoyed communicating with you, but his goal was a dating relationship, which makes sense since he was on OLD. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted September 3, 2018 Share Posted September 3, 2018 When I used Match, I would block all of the women who rejected me or didn't respond to my initial messages. I didn't do this for emotional reasons. Match only maintains message history for 30 days (at least, they did back in 2014 when I last used it). Thus, I could easily end up messaging those same women again without knowing I had messaged them previously. By blocking the women, I ensured I wouldn't message them again. OP, you rejected this guy, so he moved on. What else would you expect him to do? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 3, 2018 Share Posted September 3, 2018 It's not a chat service. It's for people who want to date. So you can't get hurt when you turn down a date because they don't want to keep just chatting. That's not why they're there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted September 4, 2018 Author Share Posted September 4, 2018 It's not a chat service. It's for people who want to date. So you can't get hurt when you turn down a date because they don't want to keep just chatting. That's not why they're there. NO. I got hurt badly. as mentioned in the post there was a guy I actually quite eager to meet, but things went south... but haven't got the gut to unmatch him... Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted September 4, 2018 Share Posted September 4, 2018 How exactly did he hurt you? If I'm understanding this correctly, a virtual stranger asked to meet you, and you turned him down. And now, he's not in contact with you anymore. You caused this hurt yourself, by refusing to meet him when he asked. And really, how hurt could you be? You haven't even met this man... Let's try to keep some perspective here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted September 4, 2018 Author Share Posted September 4, 2018 How exactly did he hurt you? If I'm understanding this correctly, a virtual stranger asked to meet you, and you turned him down. And now, he's not in contact with you anymore. You caused this hurt yourself, by refusing to meet him when he asked. And really, how hurt could you be? You haven't even met this man... Let's try to keep some perspective here. I said: "on the other hand, this other guy ". so, there are 2 guys in this post. Do I have problem with English or you? I meant I hurt this guy but was hurt by another guy (2 guys in this sentence). is this clearer? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted September 4, 2018 Share Posted September 4, 2018 I said: "on the other hand, this other guy ". so, there are 2 guys in this post. Do I have problem with English or you? I meant I hurt this guy but was hurt by another guy (2 guys in this sentence). is this clearer? Got it. Your post is a little hard to follow... Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 4, 2018 Share Posted September 4, 2018 I meant I hurt this guy but was hurt by another guy (2 guys in this sentence). is this clearer? Maybe if you don't go around hurting people you will have better luck. Keep it light until you've met. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 Do I have problem with English or you? You. Whole thing is very confusing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Malin889 Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 You declined a meeting and he went away... OLD is not a "penpal" service, it is for dating. I doubt you "hurt him"... I'm sure he enjoyed communicating with you, but his goal was a dating relationship, which makes sense since he was on OLD. Agree! I've said more than once to people that I don't want any "penpals", I even wrote it on my old profile on a dating app and I got good responses! If a guy doesn't ask me out after talking for a week or two, or he doesn't respond to me asking him out, then I move on. I really don't understand people who just want to talk week after week with no action. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 NO. I got hurt badly. as mentioned in the post there was a guy I actually quite eager to meet, but things went south... but haven't got the gut to unmatch him... You got hurt by a man you hadn't even met. How did you allow yourself to get so over invested with a virtual stranger? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 You. Whole thing is very confusing. We are confused because she is confused . . . I personally don't understand how a person gets so invested in another person they've never met and that's because I'm not desperate or living in my head. I need more than a few emails and chat sessions to fall in love or even think about them again if they "disappear". Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 We are confused because she is confused . . . I personally don't understand how a person gets so invested in another person they've never met and that's because I'm not desperate or living in my head. I need more than a few emails and chat sessions to fall in love or even think about them again if they "disappear". Absolutely. Link to post Share on other sites
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