Happy Lemming Posted November 28, 2018 Share Posted November 28, 2018 I have my doubts about how much GF#2 will cooperate. I don't know... I just feel like your husband has taken away GF#2's "free will". She shouldn't be forced to cooperate, in my opinion. I guess I don't completely understand the "poly" arrangement and why someone would relinquish their choices & "free will". I feel sorry for GF#2. Link to post Share on other sites
Artdeco Posted November 28, 2018 Share Posted November 28, 2018 I don't know... I just feel like your husband has taken away GF#2's "free will". She shouldn't be forced to cooperate, in my opinion. I guess I don't completely understand the "poly" arrangement and why someone would relinquish their choices & "free will". I feel sorry for GF#2. ......allegedly GF2 has no income, hence submitting to this arrangement will be her only choice I suppose. At least for now. I mean, if she’s living in his house and he foots all the bills, she really has no valid basis for being upset whenever he makes a household decision. Even IF she makes her own money and lives there, it’s still his property and not hers, and if he wants no booze in the house for whatever reason, that is his decision to make. That’s just my point of view from a legal/logical perspective. As far as the living arrangement in general, that’s a different story altogether. Seven promiscuous adults in one bedroom, oversexed environment, kids in the house, etc. But that’s not the topic here. I guess considering the living arrangement it’s a good thing that at least the alcohol is no longer a factor here. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted November 28, 2018 Share Posted November 28, 2018 ......allegedly GF2 has no income, hence submitting to this arrangement will be her only choice I suppose. At least for now. So GF#2 is trading sex for room and board?? I understand your post, but I still feel sad for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author major_merrick Posted November 29, 2018 Author Share Posted November 29, 2018 (edited) So GF#2 is trading sex for room and board?? I understand your post, but I still feel sad for her. GF#2 is my partner, not my husband's. She lived with me and GF#1 before I sold my home and moved into my husband's family. When it was just me and my two girlfriends, GF#2 was unemployed because she was an aspiring writer. Well...she never got past the aspiration stage. She's content to stay home and do domestic stuff. I've wondered before about getting her motivated to do something, but I've left her alone about it because she seems content where she's at. My husband has never asked her to do anything around the house, but she helps out because she's there. I've never asked her to "trade" anything. I'm thinking there's going to be a discussion about roles and expectations and boundaries. We've never had a lengthy talk about it, and the family situation has changed a bit since we moved in. IDK how my arrangement is somehow "promiscuous" or "oversexed." Seriously...there's people out there in the world who are dating multiple people, having affairs, and swinging. In my house, there's just several of us in a bed. Closed relationship. People are acting like you have to give up sex and live like a monk once you have kids...what the kids don't have to hear or witness doesn't hurt them. Actually, GF#2 has complained that she doesn't get enough attention.. Edited November 29, 2018 by major_merrick Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 (edited) I remember from previous posts that your "religion" strongly encourages group sex, masturbation and sex between women, but still requires the man to be the leader of the household, and the man is entitled to significant control over the women, such that you weren't sure if he would allow you to keep posting here if he knew about it. People are concerned about how effectively you can hope to reform any errant or dangerous behavior so long as your husband is the one who calls all the shots. Your "arrangement" may not harm anyone (although you've implied before it's not entirely legal, and it doesn't seem like an ideal environment to raise a child) but it does make it much harder to create change. Unless your husband admits he's an alcoholic and is willing to establish conditions or rules that will eliminate exposure to alcohol in your home, and everyone else agrees, recovery will be difficult if not impossible. Edited November 29, 2018 by lana-banana Link to post Share on other sites
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