Re-branding myself...I to understand my market

[JustGettingBy]

So I've put any attempts at dating aside for the past couple of months to focus on getting my career going, and I've actually got some stuff going now, including multiple certifications, and a paid apprenticeship starting in November, with living wage work almost guaranteed afterwards. Since my field is so related to marketing, I figured I'd try to re-market myself in dating, and spin my less desirable traits into positives (living with parents become will be able to make a 40% down payment on a livable place within a year, which yes, I will within a few months have that much saved up and plan to use like that). I've checked local prices, and know which areas I'm interested in moving to.

 

I've also been focusing on my physical and mental health, as well as social and life skills, and have noticed a massive increase in confidence. I'm less irritable, my abs are back, I've learned more about cooking, my posture is improved, my career potential is much more realized, etc. so I feel I'm ready to throw myself back into the dating pool as I've become more desirable now.

 

I was hoping to brand myself (on dating sites and on early dates) as someone who is in an emerging field (digital marketing) with lots of potential, savings for a place to live, and who's physical and mental health will be maintained (ie, I'm showing myself as a long term life partner, which seems compatible with my endgame of finding a wife). I was wondering how successful such a play should be expected to be, and how I should re-word/fine tune my attempt.

[preraph]

It all sounds like good self-improvement. I would just caution you to never put on dating sites to strangers how successful you are because there are a plethora of professional prostitutes and golddiggers out there just looking for a guy with money to fleece. So just be vague about all that. Say you are happy in your career, period. Don't set yourself up for con artists.

[guest569]

How boring if your whole profile (and life) is about success and money? Maybe a cultural thing but I'm more interested in who you are than what you do and how much you might earn "potentially". A like minded woman will figure out pretty easily if you're marriage material when she gets to know you. I think its fine to "market" yourself on early dates but this on a dating profile would put me off. You also come across as insecure. No way do I boast about my career or assets on a dating profile.

[d0nnivain]

All of those are good things but few of them are profile worthy. No matter how you spin it, if you are past your mid-20s, living at home with mom & dad is a negative.

 

I'd try something like this as a profile:

 

JustGettingBy 2.0

 

Like everybody I'

m

still trying to figure out this thing called life. I've recently revamped my career and am really enjoying my new field: digital marketing. Work success has propelled me forward in other areas. My cooking has improved & I'd be thrilled to make you a meal. Better nutrition and more exercise means I'

m

toned and fit. Overall the new & improved version of me, is looking for a quality long term partner. Let's work on the next best versions of ourselves together.

 

 

That's not great by any means. What do you want from a stranger on the internet at 5:30 in the morning? But hopefully it gives you some ideas. As somebody else mentioned don't talk about getting a house or your financial success. You can discuss those things 2-3 months into dating but they donly belong in a profile.

[Imajerk17]

At the end of the day, there are plenty of terrific women devoted to guys who do not have it all figured out yet. That you have ambition and are working hard to better yourself and your situation, that is pretty much all you need.

 

 

Truly I wouldn't talk too much about your job situation on your profile, period. Just check off the box that best sums up your job when filling out the "Career" section, put "I'll tell you later" on the income and be done with it.

 

The only thing that a stranger over the internet needs to know at first is that you are gainfully employed, you can discuss your career path more with someone over the phone or in person. [i agree with the others about not trying to exaggerate your level of financial success--the lying is what could do you in, both the dishonesty and that it demonstrates insecurity.]

Edited September 7, 2018 by Imajerk17

[Veronica73]

I'm probably not the one to ask, because I want to puke every time somebody talks about their "personal brand" even when it pertains to their career. Apply it to your love life and multiply the pukiness-factor by 50.

[FMW]

I'm not big on personal marketing. Any work you do on yourself and the resulting improvements should naturally show up and be apparent when you are getting to know someone, you don't need to market yourself.

 

Just be yourself, let your confidence and positivity present themselves organically.

[JustGettingBy]

It all sounds like good self-improvement. I would just caution you to never put on dating sites to strangers how successful you are because there are a plethora of professional prostitutes and golddiggers out there just looking for a guy with money to fleece. So just be vague about all that. Say you are happy in your career, period. Don't set yourself up for con artists.

 

Thanks for the advice, will keep that in mind.

 

How boring if your whole profile (and life) is about success and money? Maybe a cultural thing but I'm more interested in who you are than what you do and how much you might earn "potentially". A like minded woman will figure out pretty easily if you're marriage material when she gets to know you. I think its fine to "market" yourself on early dates but this on a dating profile would put me off. You also come across as insecure. No way do I boast about my career or assets on a dating profile.

 

The last couple years of my life have been dominated by trying to overcome disability to get the bare minimum to make ends meat. Any passions or hobbies I've had were forced to be thrown to the side. Guest I should start dabbling back in to having a life.

 

All of those are good things but few of them are profile worthy. No matter how you spin it, if you are past your mid-20s, living at home with mom & dad is a negative.

 

 

Counter-point: In a year or two I'll be owning while most of my competition is renting. Owning comfortably while everyone else rents is a positive.

 

I'll try re-wording the rest of my profile though as you said in the rest of your post, so thanks for that.

 

At the end of the day, there are plenty of terrific women devoted to guys who do not have it all figured out yet. That you have ambition and are working hard to better yourself and your situation, that is pretty much all you need.

 

 

Truly I wouldn't talk too much about your job situation on your profile, period. Just check off the box that best sums up your job when filling out the "Career" section, put "I'll tell you later" on the income and be done with it.

 

The only thing that a stranger over the internet needs to know at first is that you are gainfully employed, you can discuss your career path more with someone over the phone or in person. [i agree with the others about not trying to exaggerate your level of financial success--the lying is what could do you in, both the dishonesty and that it demonstrates insecurity.

 

So less specific to protect my privacy? Thanks, I'll make sure to make those edits.

 

I'm probably not the one to ask, because I want to puke every time somebody talks about their "personal brand" even when it pertains to their career. Apply it to your love life and multiply the pukiness-factor by 50.

 

Its not for everyone, I guess.

 

I'm not big on personal marketing. Any work you do on yourself and the resulting improvements should naturally show up and be apparent when you are getting to know someone, you don't need to market yourself.

 

Just be yourself, let your confidence and positivity present themselves organically.

 

Thing is, that hasn't been working for me. Figured I have to change something.

[d0nnivain]

I understand the financial upside of saving money but don't mention it in a profile & do understand that some women will see it as a negative. It will certainly put a cramp in your dating. It's not like a lot of women are going to want to stay over at mom & dad's house.

[JustGettingBy]

I understand the financial upside of saving money but don't mention it in a profile & do understand that some women will see it as a negative. It will certainly put a cramp in your dating. It's not like a lot of women are going to want to stay over at mom & dad's house.

 

Fair enough. That one I can understand a lot better.

[iiiii]

I think it makes a lot of sense to advertise what you have to offer - and a stable career, good physical health, house savings, and potential availability as a long term partner are all attractive traits. If you don't put these things out there, women won't know about them!

 

Perhaps phrasing it that one of your "goals" is to buy a house in the next 5 years, might be better than specifically mentioning having a house deposit. Saying it's a goal is more likely to attract women with a similar goal who can see a shared future with you, rather than gold diggers wanting a free ride.

 

I agree also, don't mention living at home in your "advert" as that will put a lot of women off. Let them find that piece of information out on the first date, as if there's chemistry then the girl might decide they like you enough to disregard it.

Edited September 8, 2018 by iiiii

[guest569]

The last couple years of my life have been dominated by trying to overcome disability to get the bare minimum to make ends meat. Any passions or hobbies I've had were forced to be thrown to the side. Guest I should start dabbling back in to having a life.

 

No television, working out, cooking, house hunting? There is more to you than money and work and I think that by mentioning the other stuff you show that you're not all work and no play. What you choose to focus on tells about your personality and priorities in life and I take your point that this is where your focus is but it would put me off because it seems out of context. That is work, this is dating.

 

If you mention the serious stuff on your profile, you can do so with subtlety and let the reader fill in the gaps. Digital marketing, we know it's a growing industry. House hunting, well he has his act together. For me it might tick some boxes in my mind while I get to know the whole person. With subtlety, you get the point across, sound impressive, and avoid coming across as arrogant.

[JustGettingBy]

I think it makes a lot of sense to advertise what you have to offer - and a stable career, good physical health, house savings, and potential availability as a long term partner are all attractive traits. If you don't put these things out there, women won't know about them!

 

Perhaps phrasing it that one of your "goals" is to buy a house in the next 5 years, might be better than specifically mentioning having a house deposit. Saying it's a goal is more likely to attract women with a similar goal who can see a shared future with you, rather than gold diggers wanting a free ride.

 

I agree also, don't mention living at home in your "advert" as that will put a lot of women off. Let them find that piece of information out on the first date, as if there's chemistry then the girl might decide they like you enough to disregard it.

 

Wow, I'll try that for sure. Thanks.

 

No television, working out, cooking, house hunting? There is more to you than money and work and I think that by mentioning the other stuff you show that you're not all work and no play. What you choose to focus on tells about your personality and priorities in life and I take your point that this is where your focus is but it would put me off because it seems out of context. That is work, this is dating.

 

Going to have to re-find stuff. As I've said, I've started working out again, and the results are starting to show. I've also got a Youtube channel going (not a career investment, just for fun), and am starting to see friends more often, so that should also help in finding "passions".