SavinaV Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 I understand being honest is important in a relationship but what about in this case: My older male cousin is getting married on Jan 2019. However, when he initially proposed to her in 2017, it was originally a marriage proposal prank. Upon seeing her excited and even in tears, he couldn't proceed to the prank (it was at the moment he realize what it's like to want to sprend the rest of your life with someone) and kept it real. All he did was postpone it and later on bought a better ring. This is the only single lie he kept from her. It's been for real ever since and he's really looking forward to forming a family with her. At this point, is it really necessary for him to reveal it was initially a prank that eventually turned real?? Or should he keep quiet about it and take it to his grave?? Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 (edited) Who in the world would "prank" their girlfriend about getting married Well but in the meanwhile, he IS getting married and he is happy about it. So he--and everyone else--should let this lie. Edited September 7, 2018 by Imajerk17 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 Hopefully the girl already has other indications that her fiance is so unbearably stupid. If he tells he should tell her before, not after, the marriage. Maybe he should take it to his grave - but if you know who else does? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 A marriage proposal prank is weird, and mean! Sheesh. I'm glad he realized he really meant it. He should definitely take that to his grave. Not only could it cause her to doubt his feelings, but it reveals a cruel and childish streak. Hopefully he's grown up. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 Hopefully the girl already has other indications that her fiance is so unbearably stupid. And so cowardly that he couldn't be real with her about something so important? SavinaV, to answer you question, when your GF misunderstands a misguided joke you've made about marrying her, honesty is really, really, really important... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 I think it's probably better to tell her before they get married (because you don't want it to come out someday far in the future and have her be devastated and think the whole relationship was a lie) but he can still sugar-coat the truth a little. He doesn't have to say "Haha, it was just a prank!" But something along the lines of saying that when he first proposed he "wasn't sure" it was really what he wanted - but now he is, her reaction made him realise how much he loves her, etc. That covers his bases a bit in case anyone ever tries to tell her that he was just kidding about the proposal, and emphasizes how his feelings changed and became stronger. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 I feel its better to always be honest......that way nothing ever ever bites you in the butt...or has to be dealt with...no drama.....just honesty but this is going to hurt her.....and its really childish thoughtless behavior.....which sort of makes me want to say keep it to himself.... but honesty...is the most sure route to a happy life happy wife....so i say he should be open and honest before the marriage...because if this childish behavior should possibly be a deal breaker...she surely has the right to know (before a wedding and forever after occurs) who she is marrying.....deb Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 Well.. I guess the joke is actually on him He is going to marry someone he talked himself into marrying, boy that sucks. Should he tell her, only he knows whats really in his heart, if he loves her then no.. he should forget it and make it up to her by being a better husband than he was as a BF.. If he doesn't love her and want to marry her then he needs to breakup with her... Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 Say nothing, leave it behind. The truth would only hurt unnecessarily and could cause the wedding canceled. After they have been married a decade or more, happily, maybe then. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sinbad2011 Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 ya, it might ruin the relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SavinaV Posted September 11, 2018 Author Share Posted September 11, 2018 Only me and his best friend Mike (from childhood) knows about the prank; no one else. Neither one of us are going to tell his fiancee. As mentioned, yes he loves her dearly and really looks forward for the day. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted September 11, 2018 Share Posted September 11, 2018 Only me and his best friend Mike (from childhood) knows about the prank; no one else. Neither one of us are going to tell his fiancee. As mentioned, yes he loves her dearly and really looks forward for the day. I think that's wise. A friend of mine doesn't recall his proposal, he woke up the next morning with a hangover and a fiancé...he was mortified, but kept his mouth shut and married her...he did have jitters the day before the wedding and talked about being a no show. He went through with it though and they seem happy enough. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 11, 2018 Share Posted September 11, 2018 Man is that a stupid prank. That's the way to get rid of a girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 11, 2018 Share Posted September 11, 2018 I suggest all of your engage in revisionist history: forget about the prank. Pretend it never happened. Convince yourselves it never happened. All of you take it to the grave. Sadly it will come out when then have their first bad fight, especially if there is alcohol involved. He'll scream I never wanted to marry you! It was all a prank. Then I felt sorry for you. After that they will be off to divorce court. However if he can truly keep his mouth shut & convince himself the prank never happened since he's sincere now, they have a shot. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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