What response could she be expecting / hoping for from me?

[lana-banana]

Yeah, that was a breakup letter. I think she might have been caught off-guard by your email and decided it was ultimately better to break ties than to keep nurturing a situation which engendered hurt feelings or confusion. It happens, and it sucks, but in some ways it's better than leaving you out to dry while you hurt. Friendships are like romances in that the vast majority of them just don't work out. In most cases friendships can be cooled or quietly dropped rather than severed this way, but it's good she was active enough to do something.

 

Also, I support everyone who chooses to take a break from Facebook, but if you really don't want to, there's always the "mute" option for specific people. And congrats on your forthcoming move

[Zapbasket]

Yeah, that was a breakup letter.

 

You think so for sure? The only possibility that gives me pause is that she's scared or doesn't know how to talk out a conflict with a friend, and to her the returning of my pants and the card were her versions of apology, while putting the ball back into my court, whether I respond to her and put the issue behind us or not. If that's at all possible, then I feel like I should offer some in-kind response that lets her go with love but tells her I had just thought we'd have a short talk after my email and all would be easily resolved.

 

I think she might have been caught off-guard by your email

This also gives me pause. I had no inkling that just sending an email saying I noticed she'd been snappish with me and while I knew she was stressed, I wanted to be sure she didn't feel I'd done or said anything and I hoped we could talk, would be the end of our friendship. She acknowledged I was a good friend to her; she also was a good friend to me; and BECAUSE of that I felt I should say something rather than sweep it under the rug.

 

It stings because I used to be someone who never called friends out, and after strings of boyfriends and friends treating me like crap, I have been working on being much more forthright about my expectations for a relationship. In this case, I don't feel bad for saying something, per se, just that I had NO idea it would end up like this. I'm pretty taken aback. I thought we had become very good friends.

 

I kind of feel like, before I disappear from her life, I should tell her that. I do get the feeling she does not have many, or even any, CLOSE female friends; most of her friendships seem rooted in grade school in the country she is from, or superficial "friendships" of the kind that are typical of where we live and the particular industry in which we both work (why I want to leave here). So maybe she doesn't realize that someone raising an issue doesn't have to instantly equal The End of a friendship?

 

I do care a lot about this person and I can't shake the feeling that we have a huge misunderstanding that could be so easily resolved.... And, yeah, only if BOTH people want to resolve it, I know. And I guess I'm just really shocked that my email bothered her so much she doesn't even want to try to discuss it. I wasn't even expecting that either of us would have to change anything, just talk to understand each other a bit better. I know it's true that people come and go from our lives, but I guess my values are that while there in my life, it's worth it to at least try to understand each other better unless the person is toxic in some way. And I know there's no way I could be called "toxic" to this or any other friend or acquaintance.

 

If I do have to accept that she really doesn't want to be friends with me, well *shrug*. Sucks but her loss, and I really feel that way. I also think if that were her intent, it's pretty lame to use the words "dearest" and "lots of love." Disingenuous to the max. [/end vent]

 

Also, I support everyone who chooses to take a break from Facebook, but if you really don't want to, there's always the "mute" option for specific people. And congrats on your forthcoming move

 

No, I LOVE being off of that thing! On Day 3 now. I'll come back to it but I think I just need a breather for now.

 

Thanks for the congrats on the move! Sad, because I love the mountains, but I know I'll be back in mountains soon enough. I'm optimistic this next chapter is going to be really good Congrats to you on the marriage!

[JuneL]

If I were you, I’d ask her to meet for a one-on-one farewell lunch before you leave the area. You’ll always wonder what if otherwise.

[Zapbasket]

If I were you, I’d ask her to meet for a one-on-one farewell lunch before you leave the area. You’ll always wonder what if otherwise.

 

No, I can't do that. I am a direct person and a terrible faker. For one, she is not a "let's do lunch" person; for two, I can imagine nothing more awkward than planning a "farewell lunch" when we never resolved or even tried to resolve the conflict that led to...where we are now. I mean, if just an email was so threatening to her, a lunch isn't going to work, either.

 

I can't tell if you guys on here are thinking I'm just dense as heck, not getting that she doesn't want to be my friend. The thing is, a few months ago there was NO sign we were headed for 100% utter friendship dissolution. I'm not crazy, here. Just stunned and not sure what she wants from me.

 

And there's a part of me that is just so over the sh*t I've been through with people where I currently live, that a voice in me is just like, "F*ck it." But at the same time I don't want to project onto this one person everything negative that's happened with so many other people.

 

I also can't tell if you're all just, "throw friendships away" kinds of people. I value my friendships, and if I spend time with someone it's because I really like them. Otherwise generally I prefer no company to poor or mediocre company. I really liked this friend and thought she was different from the rest, not so provincial because she's from another country very far away and I think it takes a lot of balls for people to go through the process of leaving everything behind and becoming American citizens. I respected her; I thought she respected me.

 

But I feel like you all here are like, "When is GC going to shut up about this? Doesn't she get it?" Yeah, evidently not. Maybe it's a sign I just need to leave every stitch of this place behind for a while--I just try to challenge myself not to have such a cut-and-dry perspective where people are concerned.

[preraph]

If I were you, I’d ask her to meet for a one-on-one farewell lunch before you leave the area. You’ll always wonder what if otherwise.

 

She won't ever GO to lunch. If he wants to have a one-on-one he's going to have to go to her house and pull her into the bathroom and close the door because it's full of people and she won't budge from there.

 

I would write her the short neutral note, just to not leave it in bad feelings as much. You both know what the conflict is.

 

Just so you know, I cannot imagine how I'm going to get through knee surgery down the line, so I understand. I will have to hire people. I mean, I have to go to the restroom every two hours, so....big problem. I don't see how you did it, frankly. Used to be hospitals would keep you until you could go it alone, but they kick you out right away now and expect you to have a team to care for you. It sucks.

[JuneL]

But I don’t understand how asking her to meet before you leave would be fake. You can talk through things and get some closure at least. If she gives you excuses for why she can’t meet when you’re leaving the area, then you have your answer.

 

No, I can't do that. I am a direct person and a terrible faker. For one, she is not a "let's do lunch" person; for two, I can imagine nothing more awkward than planning a "farewell lunch" when we never resolved or even tried to resolve the conflict that led to...where we are now. I mean, if just an email was so threatening to her, a lunch isn't going to work, either.

 

I can't tell if you guys on here are thinking I'm just dense as heck, not getting that she doesn't want to be my friend. The thing is, a few months ago there was NO sign we were headed for 100% utter friendship dissolution. I'm not crazy, here. Just stunned and not sure what she wants from me.

{snip}

Edited September 13, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Zapbasket]

But I don’t understand how asking her to meet before you leave would be fake. You can talk through things and get some closure at least. If she gives you excuses for why she can’t meet when you’re leaving the area, then you have your answer.

 

Oh, if it were ME on the other side of this, yeah, I think lunch is a great idea. But that's because even though I hate conflict as much as the next person, I'll still show up to try to muddle through a conflict. As evidenced by her six weeks of silence in response to my email, however, my (ex)-friend is not that way. The way I see it, if she doesn't mean her note to be a "break-up letter" like Lana-banana says, then the other option is that she's hoping I'll accept this apology and shut up about conflict and not bother or burden her in any way about any kind of problem, with us or otherwise, and THEN maybe she'll want to get together with me.

 

That's why the ONLY communication I'd consider giving her in response is something of a reassurance that truly, I was just emailing her in an attempt to bring an issue to light and ALL I thought would happen was that we'd talk it out right away, understand one another better, and all would be hunky-dory or at least, we'd understand the limits of this friendship better.

 

But I'm leaning toward just leaving all this mess behind--all of it, including her, just so that I can focus on building something stronger for myself in both work and relationships. Makes me sad but maybe that's what needs to be done. I'm really tired of chasing after people who don't want to chase after me. (Not, of course, that anyone ever should have to "chase," but you get what I mean.)

[Zapbasket]

She won't ever GO to lunch. If he wants to have a one-on-one he's going to have to go to her house and pull her into the bathroom and close the door because it's full of people and she won't budge from there.

 

Yeah, pretty much

 

I would write her the short neutral note, just to not leave it in bad feelings as much. You both know what the conflict is.

 

Honestly, I'm not sure she does. I think she thinks she knows; no doubt she has her own story of what was going on; but I can't assume we're even on the same page about what the conflict is.

 

Just so you know, I cannot imagine how I'm going to get through knee surgery down the line, so I understand. I will have to hire people. I mean, I have to go to the restroom every two hours, so....big problem. I don't see how you did it, frankly. Used to be hospitals would keep you until you could go it alone, but they kick you out right away now and expect you to have a team to care for you. It sucks.

 

I had a long-distance friend who had a double knee replacement when I had my surgery and she went on Facebook and rounded up about five people to tend to her for the first 3-4 days in shifts. Maybe that could be an option?

 

How I got through it? Well, it helped that for the past several years especially, I've been super fit. Core strength and strength in the non-involved leg are critical, so if you can build those up as much as possible before surgery, it will serve you well. Lots of planks and single-leg squats (you'll need the latter so that you can lower yourself onto the toilet!--I hear you because I drink so much water I have to pee all. the. time.). Also knowing what to expect this time around was a huge help. Feel free to PM me when the time draws near and maybe I can be of from-afar help.

[JuneL]

Just curious: Did you ever meet one-on-one for a meal or an activity?

[Zapbasket]

Just curious: Did you ever meet one-on-one for a meal or an activity?

 

A few times, yes. Before her parents came to live with her. One time was an all-day thing. I understood what an enormous life change that was for all of them. That's why especially when I was down the road from her, I had no problems with going to her house. I really enjoyed it, actually. I really like her husband, and her parents. I'd bring beers and we'd all visit and it was very enjoyable.

[preraph]

Well, maybe you're trying to be friends with the wrong member of the family. Maybe you should ask her dad if he wants to go do something.

[Zapbasket]

So I had decided to just let things lie with this friend, not respond to her card and just accept that for reasons I probably will never know, this friend had decided to end our friendship and that was the meaning behind her waiting six weeks to my email to her and then finally responding with the card saying what it did (see my original post).

 

But since I last posted, it was my birthday. I received no text or call from this person, not that I was expecting one, but when another friend, let’s call her Sam, posted a photo of her (Sam) and me, my estranged friend posted a comment wishing me a happy birthday. I replied simply, “ Thanks!” And then when I posted a photo of my mom whom I just visited, my estranged friend posted that my mom looks great and to send her her love. (She met my mom when my mom last visited me.)

 

Now I am wondering what the heck? How could anyone think you can just sweep a conflict under the rug with no discussion, and comment at will on my social media posts when we haven’t spoken nor seen each other since mid-July, since I sent that email? You don’t restore a friendship via social media. I don’t know what I can do to let her know I am not on board with any of this, and if she doesn’t want to be my friend she shouldn’t comment on my posts or better yet, un-friend me.

 

I guess I will continue to do nothing, but I am beginning to think that social media has so skewed some people’s perceptions of what real friendship is, that for them social media IS friendship. I wish there were something I could do to set this right, but since she ignored my original request to talk I can’t do anything but block her from seeing future posts. I am just baffled and I will admit, a bit disgusted while wondering whether perhaps I am mis-reading the situation.

Edited September 24, 2018 by GreenCove

[JuneL]

Here’s my guess about what *may* be happening from her perspective (noting that I’m not saying she’s right or wrong)...

 

She’s probably trying to get a feel on whether you’re still upset at her. From her perspective, she has already acknowledged and apologized for the concerns you expressed in your email. She probably didn’t think those issues are so major as to warrant a serious talk, and such a talk may likely create more drama. If you think about it, what she did wrong was getting snappy at you toward the end of the friendship; the stuff about her not being able to meet you one-on-one was more about your incompatibility, in my opinion.

 

If I were you (of course you’re not me), I would ask to meet up one-on-one before you move away from the area. I would be very surprised if she refuses to meet one last time, knowing that you’re moving away. Either way, you get your closure.

 

So I had decided to just let things lie with this friend, not respond to her card and just accept that for reasons I probably will never know, this friend had decided to end our friendship and that was the meaning behind her waiting six weeks to my email to her and then finally responding with the card saying what it did (see my original post).

 

<snip>

Edited September 25, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Truncate quote

[Zapbasket]

Here’s my guess about what *may* be happening from her perspective (noting that I’m not saying she’s right or wrong)...

 

She’s probably trying to get a feel on whether you’re still upset at her. From her perspective, she has already acknowledged and apologized for the concerns you expressed in your email. She probably didn’t think those issues are so major as to warrant a serious talk, and such a talk may likely create more drama. If you think about it, what she did wrong was getting snappy at you toward the end of the friendship; the stuff about her not being able to meet you one-on-one was more about your incompatibility, in my opinion.

 

Thanks, JuneL. But here's the thing (see bolded): if she thinks the issues were not enough to warrant a serious talk, she thought they were big enough to completely close off communication for six whole weeks, and then rather than actually contact me, she left something outside my door and did not knock. To me, that all says she made this a much bigger deal than I did, because I just wanted us to talk. Note, too, that my email to her said nothing about not being able to meet one-on-one. I only addressed how she spoke to me. I could deal with her supposed "family constraints" if she weren't rude toward me and clearly thinking nothing of it.

 

Personally, I think her apology card is more befitting of a teenager than a woman of almost fifty--and THAT represents more of our incompatibility than her scheduling constraints. Like I said before, I don't ask for much time spent together from my friendships. I don't myself like to "hang out." I like to have meaningful interactions periodically, and I don't mind it sometimes being with other people, e.g., this woman's parents and husband.

 

If I were you (of course you’re not me), I would ask to meet up one-on-one before you move away from the area. I would be very surprised if she refuses to meet one last time, knowing that you’re moving away. Either way, you get your closure.

 

You must be a more tolerant person than I am. This woman ignored my birthday--I don't think a comment on someone else's post on my social media represents a genuine effort at rapprochement, but rather a cowardly awareness that if she totally ignores my birthday, that's harsher than she wants to be, but she also didn't want to risk texting or calling me. And as for her comment about my mom, I also think it's more fitting for a teenager to use Facebook to try to suss out whether a friendship is all good or whether there is still a problem. The whole thing reeks of childishness and an inability to handle the complexities of a genuine friendship. And THAT is much more of a problem than the original problem I brought to her attention.

 

I finally got to talk with one of my best friends about this. She has two wee ones and the baby never sleeps so she's been a bit of a zombie these past months. But we finally had a few hours to catch up and when I told her about this woman she said, "What the heck?" and said the woman frankly sounds like either a bitch by personality, or a middle-aged woman whose hormones are out of whack due to menopause or perimenopause. I told my friend how this woman let the air out of someone's tires who had pinned her car into its parking place, and my friend advised that i forget about her. She's just ornery and bitchy, she said, and she sounds like the kind of person who doesn't care if she's bitchy to her friends and if they don't like it, she's fine to let the friendship go. My friend said these kinds of women never are good bets for friends.

 

And of course as I always feel with this friend, she's most likely right, and I feel like an idiot for not figuring it all out sooner. I will not be calling her for lunch or anything else. If she wants to talk to me like a grown adult, I'd be open to hearing what she has to say, but my gut tells me such a discussion is too threatening for her. I really want friends going forward who are adult enough to show up to solve conflict, and take ownership of their part in it--which her high-school-isn apology did not do.

 

The other thing my good friend said is "what the heck" to her never having any time for a friendship outside her family. She tsk tsk'd over the phone and concluded, "This lady sounds like she has problems."

 

I'm tending at this point to agree.

[JuneL]

Okay, good that you’ve made up your mind. I suggested trying to meet up one last time because I got the impression you would want some closure. You know, you can still choose to not be her friend afterward.

 

The 6-week silence was likely because she was caught off guard by your email and didn’t know how to react; she probably thought it’d be best to let you cool down first. Again, I was simply trying to provide one possible scenario given your descriptions. I agree that she’s conflict-avoidant; but I also got the feeling your friendship was not that deep anyway.

 

Thanks, JuneL. But here's the thing (see bolded): if she thinks the issues were not enough to warrant a serious talk, she thought they were big enough to completely close off communication for six whole weeks, and then rather than actually contact me, she left something outside my door and did not knock. To me, that all says she made this a much bigger deal than I did, because I just wanted us to talk. Note, too, that my email to her said nothing about not being able to meet one-on-one. <SNIP>

Edited September 26, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Zapbasket]

 

The 6-week silence was likely because she was caught off guard by your email and didn’t know how to react; she probably thought it’d be best to let you cool down first. Again, I was simply trying to provide one possible scenario given your descriptions. I agree that she’s conflict-avoidant; but I also got the feeling your friendship was not that deep anyway.

 

This is what I don't get, though: if she was trying to let me "cool down," how is then not responding for six whole weeks going to achieve that? While I'm sitting there stunned that someone would completely ignore an email like mine? And it wasn't like I barked at her in an email. I said simply that I'd noticed several instances where she was short with me and wondered if anything was up, and that I'd prefer direct, honest communication over someone taking their emotions out ON me. All I can say is that if someone pointed out that I'd been short or rude, even if I didn't know what they were talking about I'd quickly jump in to clarify and apologize.

 

Maybe she took the six weeks because SHE had to cool down.

 

I thought our friendship had more depth to it than any of her other "friendships" I'd been able to observe. And she was the first person where I live who seemed genuinely interested and invested in getting to know ME. So, yeah, pretty disappointed but this whole thing is just so juvenile in my eyes I just want to be done with it. I don't get conflict-avoidant people. Instead of making things better, they make it much worse...and they lose friends because of it. And in my experience they make everyone else miserable in the process. Just have it out, address things, and be done with it. I'm so sick of cow-towing to conflict-avoidant people I could scream (which I guess would then scare those people off for good, so, there's that )

[guest569]

Oh dear. The way she spoke to you when you last met was awful. Maybe it's a flaw of mine but I don't have time for people like that and don't hesitate to lose them and their negativity. Friends don't treat each other that way. So she took you to the surgery.. And then just left you well alone and then dismisses your problems in a really insensitive way. Screw her. Why are you so upset to lose someone so callous and immature? It sounds like you have some other lovely friends.

[elaine567]

When you lived close by and dropped in to her house for chats everything was hunky dory, as the friendship was easy for her, she stays at home you do all the running around.

Once you moved away, the entire dynamic of the friendship changed.

She had to do some of the running, and she didn't like it.

Your friendship wasn't that important to her, she has a busy life and she doesn't want to make it any busier by keeping up a long distance friendship with you.

She knew that being a good friend meant she was going to have to put in some legwork whilst you were incapacitated, she no doubt resented that, so instead of making you feel cosy and warm for weeks, she fired off a few "comments" and left you to it...

Many women who accumulate friends are happy to open up their home and the home becomes the hub of activity, they do not go to other people's homes unless they really need to. They usually have family and responsibilities so it makes sense that any friends they have will come to them.

 

As you have unfortunately found out, neighbour friendships like work friendships can quickly crumble, when it takes actual effort to keep them going.

 

"A friend in need, is a friend you don’t need".

[Zapbasket]

I woke up this morning super-pissed--but then the way the flame on the end of a match is hot and potent but ultimately small and quickly snuffs out, I then felt super over it, and over people like this, and sh*t like this. (Note, JuneL and others, that any anger or scorn expressed is towards this woman, and people like her, and not towards any of you or your helpful comments / interpretations.)

 

 

She’s probably trying to get a feel on whether you’re still upset at her.

 

Well, duh. Of course I am. Mature people reach out to communicate when there has been a conflict or misunderstanding. They don't hover pathetically on Facebook dropping little bits on someone's Timeline to "see if someone is still upset with them." Holy crap. Is this the kind of stupidity social media enables for us? Twenty years ago, if you wanted to communicate with someone, you actually had to compose a fairly cogent email at the least, or you had to pick up the phone and actually utter a few cogent sentences.

 

I mean, I'd have more "respect" for her if she firmly decided she did not want to be my friend, and therefore outright unfriended me on social media or just never bothered to post on my wall. This half-arse sh*t just shows that she has contented herself with slurrying around in pathetic teenaged behavior...at the age of 48. I have NO respect for people who don't know how to grow up.

 

From her perspective, she has already acknowledged and apologized for the concerns you expressed in your email. She probably didn’t think those issues are so major as to warrant a serious talk, and such a talk may likely create more drama.

 

That perspective (the woman's) sounds arrogant beyond belief. "Drama"? Respectfully bringing up an issue with a friend is not "drama." It's an adult trying to forge a healthy relationship with another adult.

 

And I wouldn't begin to be able to explain to her how her "apology card" did not remotely make the mark as a proper apology. All it looked like to me was someone not really wanting to be bothered, but not wanting to be labeled the "bad guy" for failing to return my pants and permanently ignoring me. Again: F her.

[Zapbasket]

When you lived close by and dropped in to her house for chats everything was hunky dory, as the friendship was easy for her, she stays at home you do all the running around.

Once you moved away, the entire dynamic of the friendship changed.

She had to do some of the running, and she didn't like it.

Your friendship wasn't that important to her, she has a busy life and she doesn't want to make it any busier by keeping up a long distance friendship with you.

She knew that being a good friend meant she was going to have to put in some legwork whilst you were incapacitated, she no doubt resented that, so instead of making you feel cosy and warm for weeks, she fired off a few "comments" and left you to it...

Many women who accumulate friends are happy to open up their home and the home becomes the hub of activity, they do not go to other people's homes unless they really need to. They usually have family and responsibilities so it makes sense that any friends they have will come to them.

 

As you have unfortunately found out, neighbour friendships like work friendships can quickly crumble, when it takes actual effort to keep them going.

 

"A friend in need, is a friend you don’t need".

 

Much as I cringe to admit it, I think you are spot-on, Elaine567. I cringe because it's all just so...UGH. You know? I mean, the stuff I bolded: How can ANY decent person think like that? Why resent someone for having an injury and being unable to get around?

 

This all represents why I would rather suffer at home with no help than ask for any help in times like this. The world seems to be full of "helpers" who then martyrize themselves for helping while then resenting the person who needed the help simply because they needed help and then being too conflict-avoidant, too passive-aggressive, to admit to those feelings. They are horrid little harpies, because yes they usually are women, and they are the kind of women that make me wish I were a man solely in the company of men. I swear.

 

It goes back to what I have observed with this woman: fine that she chooses to live this way, but she does NOT have many, or any, friends. People like her because she has a cute accent and is feisty with a fun sense of humor (that's why I was drawn to her), but no one seems to be close to her. How can they, when everything is all on her terms? I'm sorry but over the years I've met plenty of woman with families who still manage to make time for friends. Again: F her.

[Zapbasket]

Oh dear. The way she spoke to you when you last met was awful. Maybe it's a flaw of mine but I don't have time for people like that and don't hesitate to lose them and their negativity. Friends don't treat each other that way. So she took you to the surgery.. And then just left you well alone and then dismisses your problems in a really insensitive way. Screw her. Why are you so upset to lose someone so callous and immature? It sounds like you have some other lovely friends.

 

Thank you. I think your "flaw" is a virtue and I strive to be the same. I am finished with her unless she comes to me saying, "Let's talk," and doesn't try to do so over Facebook. And even then, it will just be to put some closure on the whole thing.

 

And my hunch says she will never say, "Let's talk." She has too much pride, too much arrogance, and doesn't care enough. What's it to her to lose someone like me, who where we live is a bit of an outsider, anyway? I'm sure if I were more "important" around here, she'd be kissing my arse. I have no use for people like that.

 

You know, this woman always whined about how her parents never sent her to college. Where we live there are FOUR community colleges within 30-45 minutes' drive. In fact, I am taking a class at one of them tonight But this is the way I see a lot of people who never went to college act: they aren't curious. I know people who never went to college and then spend their lives taking classes, reading books, hungry for information any way they can get it, and I have HUGE respect for that. Why did I chance anything on this woman who is just content to stay at home, feel sorry for herself for her own ignorance, and then exercise ignorance in the way that is absolutely RUINING this country: by just deciding she's right about things and therefore no need to talk about issues with a person. Why I continue to give people chances who don't begin to hold up to my own values is something I need to fix, and now. I am ashamed of myself. I'm always trying to learn and grow; why would I ever settle for someone who is not, who at close to age fifty still whines about how she didn't get to go to college?

 

What my best friend said about how this woman letting the air out of the guy's tires who pinned her into a parking space was the real cincher for me, and I am ashamed I didn't make the connection sooner. My best friend said that people like that just don't tend to make very good friends. You don't go around ruining someone else's day just because someone messed with yours. It shows bad character and I am going to have to do a little self-examining to understand why I didn't see it, and to my best friend it was so obvious she didn't even have to burn a calorie cogitating over it.

[BC1980]

I also think the comment on Facebook is a way to gauge where the relationship is. I think the card was her attempt to say sorry for what happened, but she doesn't want to talk about it any further. If you are moving soon, I'd probably just let it go. You might never see her again, so it's more trouble than it's worth.

[Zapbasket]

I also think the comment on Facebook is a way to gauge where the relationship is.

 

That's just so stupid I can't even...

 

I think the card was her attempt to say sorry for what happened, but she doesn't want to talk about it any further.

Well, good for her, because she won't have to. I'm pretty certain that had she not had to deal with returning my pants, she'd just have permanently ignored my email and therefore, me. It's pretty unbelievable and I'm pretty upset, but whatever.

 

If you are moving soon, I'd probably just let it go. You might never see her again, so it's more trouble than it's worth.

 

Yeah, I'm done. I HOPE I never see her again.

[BC1980]

That's just so stupid I can't even.

 

I agree. Social media has done a lot of weird things to relationships.

[Zapbasket]

I agree. Social media has done a lot of weird things to relationships.

 

And how! I think there's a whole bunch of people who basically live their relationships entirely through and inside social media--and what's terrifying is that they don't even know it. That's a whole other thread....