Husband left. What do I do now?

[FMW]

Just focus on doing your best and put everything you have in to it. It's normal to feel anxious, especially after so long out of the workforce.

 

You've landed on your feet, so now just keep moving forward!

 

Oh, and it's also normal to miss sex - but - how do I put this delicately - take the edge off on your own. Don't jump into a relationship, even just FWB, for a while. You need time to get your head straight on what you want for the future. There's a huge risk of getting even more hurt or feeling even worse about yourself and feeling used if you jump into something too soon, no matter how cool you think you can be about it. Focus on the new job right now.

[d0nnivain]

Very nervous about this job. It's all happened so fast I'm not sure I'm ready. I keep thinking I'm going to make stupid mistakes because I'm so nervous.

 

It's OK to be nervous. Just take your time. Try your best & ask lots of Qs. Your boss would rather you asked & worked slowly 'til you got the hang of it.

 

If you are still asking the same Qs or making the same mistakes 6 months from now, that will be a problem but for now just get in there & do your best.

[vla1120]

Congrats on the job!! You're going to be just fine. Every mistake is a learning opportunity! You are well on your way - and there is nothing wrong with enjoying a bit of "boy toy" fun, as long as he is a willing participant and okay with playing that role.

[Honda750]

Where do I start. Was married (common law marriage) 17 years. Was a stay at home wife. Husband had a high flying job often travelling. He has a secret family with his PA and has left me for them. I don’t know what to do now.

 

To expand a bit, we had faced some financial difficulties and declared bankruptcy. Just as that was finalized he told me he was leaving me for his PA. They have two kids together. We don’t have any as a childhood illness left me unable.

 

What do I do now? I have no money. I have no work skills. I’m living back with parents and although I’d like it be temporary I can’t see my situation improving. He has no assets for me to go after.

 

Can I go after her money? Surely my ex gave her some. I feel so useless. I feel foolish. I think of the times I cooked for both of them and they’d sit at my table when they got home from a long week travelling for work. They must have been laughing at me as they really spent the whole week ****ing.

 

Even his facebook posts are insulting. Announcing that he’s finally with his true love. He moves into a nice house with a nice car and has a partner and still has his job. I’m left with no money, no job and no hope for the future. Who would want a 39 year old broke woman with no prospects?

 

I deserve to walk away with something. I don’t know whether he set this bankruptcy thing up. If he did how can I prove it? I don’t have money to hire people. It’s just not fair. He has treated me like garbage and walked away with a new life. What do I get? Where’s my future? I have nothing to look forward to. Honestly I feel like what’s the point. I might as well just give up.

 

And words of wisdom appreciated. How do I get my life on track after this? Where do I even start?

 

Pick up the pieces , tough tough lesson learned here , but you’re still young enough you can get TRAINED to do something with your Life and move on !

Don’t waste your time trying to get even , instead at your age consider this a blessing and pick yourself up and get on with your life ! You can find another if it’s meant to be , you’re not old by any means , but your are now wiser and it’s for the better ! Make Lemonade out of lemons ?! I’m sorry you went through this , that guy is a scoundrel bu I’m a guy that understands you can do better and you can now focus 100% on you and don’t step on that mess again !

Good luck in your new endeavors at Life and relationships !

[Laura79]

Hey.

 

I spoke about revenge and honestly really was considering ignoring the advice and doing something. But it appears karma has hit him hard. Through mutual friends I know she had kicked him out. She has quit her job with him or asked and was approved for a transfer (I've heard two different stories).

 

He doesn't know that I know. He has texted and rang me for the last three days. Telling me how sorry he is, how he still loves me and heaps of other crap. This guy is a real piece of crap, obviously trying to set things up to get back with me. I only responded to one text (about the 4th one) to tell him to leave me alone.

 

I really want to meet up with him and give him a piece of my mind but everyone is telling me it's not worth it. I just think it would be good to get it all off my chest. Putting him down a bit wouldn't hurt either.

 

I'm quite proud of myself, I think a weaker me from not that long ago would have talked and texted him. I probably wouldn't have entertained the idea of getting back with him but I would have spoken. It's quite empowering knowing that I am strong and that after all he did he couldn't break me.

[Laura79]

Oh, and I love working too. A great first week. Great people. Should have done it earlier but that's behind me now, just looking forward.

[Happy Lemming]

I was just going to ask about the new job, but see you posted an update on that, as well.

 

Really glad to hear it... keep going!!

[FMW]

Wow, you have made such significant progress! That's really great.

 

You were strong and didn't fall back into old habits. That's something to be very proud of.

 

I agree with those telling you to just stay away from him. Vent to us, vent to your friends, but don't give him the satisfaction of hearing your pain and anger, it just validates his feelings of importance. I really don't think it will make you feel better, and might possibly make you feel worse. You don't need to hear anything he has to say to you either. He's nothing to you now but a dark cloud in your past.

 

You had a tough lesson forced on you and it sounds like you're handling it well. Just keep looking forward.

[vla1120]

Hey.

 

I spoke about revenge and honestly really was considering ignoring the advice and doing something. But it appears karma has hit him hard. Through mutual friends I know she had kicked him out. She has quit her job with him or asked and was approved for a transfer (I've heard two different stories).

 

He doesn't know that I know. He has texted and rang me for the last three days. Telling me how sorry he is, how he still loves me and heaps of other crap. This guy is a real piece of crap, obviously trying to set things up to get back with me. I only responded to one text (about the 4th one) to tell him to leave me alone.

 

I really want to meet up with him and give him a piece of my mind but everyone is telling me it's not worth it. I just think it would be good to get it all off my chest. Putting him down a bit wouldn't hurt either.

 

I'm quite proud of myself, I think a weaker me from not that long ago would have talked and texted him. I probably wouldn't have entertained the idea of getting back with him but I would have spoken. It's quite empowering knowing that I am strong and that after all he did he couldn't break me.

 

I’m glad you are proud of yourself! You should be! I am also glad you let karma rule instead of doing something you might later regret. You are the better person for it. Someone on here always says the best revenge is success and happiness. Your revenge is apparent not only to him, but to everyone else. Let him sit alone in the misery he created. Be happy and enjoy your life! Happy endings are what gives everyone else out here hope.