Feeling guilty about events during break/NC

[Frank21]

Well it sounds like things will be ok but you need to give her some space. She'll forgive you but let her be pissed off at you for a while, let her get it all out and then forgive you.

 

Try bringing her some flowers or little gesture and tell her that you love her but you understand that she's mad. Tell her that you want to respect her wishes and give her some space but you want to make it up to her any way that you can.

 

She's told me today that she's afraid - what if we get married and we get in a fight, am I going to run off to someone else? What if we have a fight that results in her not talking to me for a while, will I run off to someone else?

 

I told her that I never did anything to betray her when we were together (EVER!) and that all that can fix things now is time. Of course I said nothing like this would ever happen again, and I was only really hurt/mad when she told me I couldn't even call her (while we were broken up).

 

Of course anytime I remind or mention to her that we were on a break this just pisses her off more!

 

She's pretty hot about all this; I can't say I blame her either. We're spending the night out with a group of her friends so hopefully today will be day one of the healing process for her.

 

Honestly, I'm scared to death that she's going to leave or not be able to get past this. She's always been the type NOT to dwell on things, but I'm really worried.

[JS17]

Wait, were you broken up or just fighting?

[sundrop]

They were on a break when the "things" happened.

[Frank21]

They were on a break when the "things" happened.

 

 

Yes. I was told not to call her.

[lifeispeachy]

She probably didnt want you to call her bcos she was very hurt by what you did and probably also trying to deal with the pain. And of course she was afraid to to come back. And she had every right to be scared to come back to you.

 

There she was. Hurt but still loves you and thinking about whether she wanted to give you a second chance after YOU hurt her. And there you were, fooling around with other girls. Seems to me that she is not the one for you. She is the one is pain, and she didnt hang out with other guys, considering to give you a second chance. While you had fun.

 

Stop blaming her for asking for NC. You made the first mistake and yet you did again. Hurt her again. It didnt seem sincere. And she has every right to get mad at you and feeling scared about being with you.

 

But I do agree with the rest. You shouldnt have told her. What you dont know cant hurt you.

 

But what is done is done. And you felt guilty about it. I hope this time you will appreciate her and love her dearly bcos she clearly doesnt deserve you, she deserve better. But she is still willing to forgive you. She must be a amazing woman.

 

Pls dont screw up again. Yea, give her time. There will probably be resentment on her part. If you truly love her, you will have to work really hard. Good luck to you.

[Rocko]

You're a good man frank, hang in there.

[Frank21]

Thanks. It's been a tough weekend, but every day is getting better. She's a very special person and she's trying to move past this, but obviously it's hard. It'll take time and lots of patience on both sides, but it's only been 4 days since I confessed to everything. Do I regret telling her? Sort of, but in time I know I won't.

On a good side I'm going to see a psychologist in a week; not just about this but lots of other issues I've had in the past few years. It'll be good to talk to someone about my obsessive behavior, and I really need to fix "me" right now.

[Frank21]

You're a good man frank, hang in there.

 

Things are slowly getting better. Lots of discussions every day, but she's much more intimate now than before.

 

This will never happen again. If anything, I realized I can't keep my mouth shut about anything. I'd be a horrible MOB guy - two seconds into the torture "The code is XYZ-43!" "The microfilm is in my shoe"!