Boyfriend works in a very close work environment with ex

[moonandsun]

So I don't like to say I'm a jealous person. I have lots of friends of the opposite sex so I can understand when a guy has the same. What bothers me is when an ex is in the pic.

 

My bf of almost half a year works in the same small food start up at his ex, and the front line job is to go to festivals and sell the food. This weekend, it's just him and her working in a small booth, driving back at night, etc.

 

I worked a whole weekend with him before and so I know how a huge amount of time is spent on talking between customers.

 

I trust him. He treats me like a queen, always tells me how beautiful and intelligent I am, prioritizes me. He told me ever since he start dating me that he got over her. But, he dated his ex for two years and they had a pretty intense relationship from my understanding (see past post). And, his ex has tried to undermine me before by insulting me to him (but obviously she passed it as a joke), as well as I know she had wanted to get back together with him before. He also waited for the last minute (the morning of the event) to tell me that he is working alone with her.

 

I confronted him about it , telling him that I trust him but feel uncomfortable with the whole situation, and he said he understood and promised that he is keeping distance from her.

 

But I can't calm down. I really don't trust her, and from the things I've been told by others who knew her, his ex is capable of manipulating situations to get her way (like getting this whole weekend alone with him to work). She is also extremely flirty.

 

I've been considering going to the festival with a friend and maybe show myself so she knows her place? But not sure if it's too petty.

 

Can anyone share their wisdom, especially if they dealt with a bfs/gfs ex before?

[d0nnivain]

You can either maturely accept it because you do trust him (but it's OK to keep your eye on her) or you can break up. You can't expect him to quit his job. In a small company like the one you describe, you also can't expect your BF's boss to accommodate their break up.

[usa1ah]

You say you trust him, then do so. The ex can’t do anything your boyfriend doesn’t allow. She can flirt all she wants to. Unless your boyfriend is going to cheat her flirting won’t get her anything.

 

Also remember that after all of this is over the ex can start rumors that something did happen.

 

If your bf is trust worthy, then trust him to be.

[smackie9]

Yes that would be petty...don't be the cray cray jealous GF.

 

 

 

A bigger threat would be if they have never dated before. He's done with her. Let it go!

 

 

How old are you btw?

[Orokotikki]

What is "a small food start up"? Is this a restaurant/food truck situation? Does not sounds like a irreplaceable career, but more like a 'job' which could be easily replaced.

 

If you and him are going to get 'serious' he should find a new situation, and if you aren't going to get serious, then I think you should.

[Rockdad]

You show up doing an obvious check up at a festival would tell him you in fact don't trust him as you claim and surely give the ex plenty of new discussion material. Don't belittle yourself.

[Wookin Pa Nub]

I can be insecure and jealous at times but if it were me I would tell him it makes you uncomfortable. There's nothing unnatural about your concern. Tell him things that would be crossing the line. Ex sharing a meal, going out for drink after shift, talking about past relationship, etc.

 

 

As far as going to the festival, I don't see anything wrong with that at all. Go there and enjoy the festival, say hi to bf and give him a kiss, chat with him for 10 minutes then go about enjoying festival with your friend.

[d0nnivain]

If you would go to the festival anyway because you enjoy the subject & would go even if your BF wasn't working it, you can attend. If your sole reason for going is to check up on him, you don't trust him enough to be in the relationship

[PegNosePete]

I trust him.

I really don't trust her

See, when people say that, I really don't get it.

 

If you trust him then you trust him to say NO and act appropriately no matter what she does.

 

But if you think there are some actions or words or circumstances that she could enact which would tempt him to cheat, then you really don't trust him, do you?

 

So which is it, do you trust him to not do anything wrong, or do you think he might cheat in certain circumstances?

[Gaeta]

 

I trust him.

 

But I can't calm down. I really don't trust her, and from the things I've been told by others who knew her, his ex is capable of manipulating situations to get her way (like getting this whole weekend alone with him to work). She is also extremely flirty.

 

 

Can anyone share their wisdom, especially if they dealt with a bfs/gfs ex before?

 

 

So you trust him but you don't trust him to resist her? Is that trust?

 

 

So what she will flirt? so what she will try to get her hands on him? He's a big boy and he can reject her. If he doesn't than he's not the trustworthy man you thought and you'll kick him to the curb right!

 

 

 

Yes I have dealt with working with an ex, I have been working for my ex for 15 years I also work with his wife and we all respect each other.

 

 

 

Don't be the crazy GF checking up on her BF, just trust him and if he fails you'll find someone better.