Why can't men stand tears?

[Nancy]

How come men hate it when women get emotional and cry? How do you know what their limit is before they walk away?

[Sandra]

If you are feeling like she is going to walk away she probably is.

[Miss Mojo]

hi nancy,

 

not all men walk away from a girl who is crying, but i have a couple of theories on your query:-

 

1. some men are conditioned to believe that crying 'is for girls'. it is part of this conditioning that leads them to believe they should just walk away, particularly if they haven't been exposed to much crying in their lifetime.

 

2. some people cannot face a person who is crying because they feel very upset when they witness someone they care about cry. it is easier for them to walk away, because they don't know or aren't sure how to comfort someone who is so visibly upset.

 

3. you could have just cried in front of a very unsympathetic man, or a man who thinks you were being irrational.

 

i have cried and sobbed around men who are very quick to try and comfort me, which is proof that not all men hate it when women cry. of course they don't like it because of a little thing called empathy - the same thing applies to females. it generally makes another person sad to see someone cry, and most people will try to comfort them.

 

but if a boyfriend walks away from when i am crying, i personally would prefer to know why....i had an ex who used to walk because he didn't give a damn about my feelings....it wasn't long before i was the one who walked.

 

i'm not a guy, but i would only walk away if the person was hysterical or didn't want to be left alone.

[kikie]

hi!

 

i personally think crying is a lonely activity & should be done alone ... i always try to hide my tears, even though i'm a girl.

 

i've, however, cried once in front of my bf, he freaked out but did comfort me ... i think guys gets scared when a girl starts crying cuz they think it's their fault & how horrible they are & they just don't know what to do ...

 

I've talked to a guy-friend of mine whose x-gf used to cry for every PMS ... for him, it was a total turn off ... he said that being moody is okay, but crying is just too much ... shows total lack of self-control, etc. ... he's right, in a way ... but his gf also cried for almost any reason - for every little fight they had - so u know, not the best image ...

 

i guess it's also that traditionally, crying is so unmanly ... i dunna what to think when my bf cries over our fights and I don't.... it's sweet sensitivity, but it's also off-turning & shows his lack of stability or whatever's the right word ...

 

there ya go ... all my info re: guys & crying =)

[Rogue]

Well I'm a guy and but I can only speak for myself.

 

I would never turn away from a girl who was crying because she's hurt or in distress. That's not what turns men off.

 

Crying should be reserved as a call for immediate help. What turns men off is when women cry without a valid reason. For example, if a girl falls and hurts her ankle ,that's a good reason for her to cry. But after you've spent half an hour binding up the ankle, and she should be fine, if she's still crying then it really gets on your nerves.

 

Some women use crying as a way of getting attention. Some use it as an underhanded way of getting their way with men by having the men feel guilty. Some use it as a coping mechanism whenever they feel frustrated. Some women use it to feel sorry for themselves.They try to justify their self-pity by how much "emotional pain" they are in. Some women cry profusely for no reason at all. Some women cry over trivial matters. Some use it when they are feeling unloved and want attention.

 

It's really hard for a man to be patient with women under these circumstances. That's because trying to comfort someone like that just leads to a never ending cycle of more crying. Getting mad just makes you seem heartless. Ignoring them makes you seem apathetic. Sometimes all you can do is wait for the tears duct to dry out and stock up on Kleenex the next time you're at the grocer.

 

As I said earlier, there is absolutely nothing wrong with crying when you're hurt (even just emotional pain) or when you're in distress or when you truly need help. Men are NOT annoyed to see a woman get so stressed out they just burst into tears (My gosh! I nearly did when the Leafs got eliminated from the playoffs!!!). I have never thought badly of the women I've dealt with in any of those situations. Under circumstances like these, most men would stand on their heads to help.( This is true. I've handled three diffirent crying women this week alone!)