sex on the regular with a REALLY good friend...is it bad for the freindship???

[Chewybrwn]

so i have a friend that ive known for about a year now and his name is kevin. he is just a really close buddy of my best friend and i. one night we decided to get pretty drunk and we did. then resorting to kevin and I miraculously sleeping together.

 

at first i was confused on whether or not i should try something further with him but that was a bust because i never liked him further than a freind before that. I had never ever thought of the idea. but it wasnt just a one time affair. we now sleep together everytime we hang out. we confirmed with each other before continuing the fun by saying that we would be just freinds.

 

the sex is really good....but could this be a really bad idea in the long run. I genuinley consider this guy a good friend of mine and i dont want to ruin that. but i wonder how these kind of situations turn out in the long run...does anyone have a clue???

[Teag]

It just depends on the people involved. But most of the time when you start w/ FWB you start developiong feelings other than just friends. (girls anyway) But on the other hand if you think you can handle it go for it. I use to have a FWB, we actually dated & when we broke up we continued to sleep together. But we remained friends for years.

[Mary3]

The previous poster is correct : You can theoretically have sex with him and it can be amazing and you love it. But if you do it too long you might start feeling something for him but he continues to want the * no strings sex* Meaning he can sleep with others.

 

I would not sleep with him for like 5 days while you clear your head. If you dont ever think you will * feel * something then FWB works. But eventually you or he will find someone else , you know

[fundamental]

Yes... bad idea.

[Cecelius]

Yes, it is bad. One of you will start to have feelings of attachment (which may become proprietary feelings, so there will be ill will if any new people come into the mix), one of you WILL be sexually rejected by the other at some point (and that is an ego hit no matter what so there will be resentment). Lastly, either or both of you will find new, real romantic partners who are reasonably likely to object to your continued friendship (putting one or both of you in the position of having to choose love interest vs. friend).

 

I have hooked up with friends, and always regret it.

[alphamale]

the sex is really good....but could this be a really bad idea in the long run. I genuinley consider this guy a good friend of mine and i dont want to ruin that. but i wonder how these kind of situations turn out in the long run...does anyone have a clue???

yes....if you two stop having sex then the so-called "friendship" will be over. Almost guaranteed!

[JS17]

yes....if you two stop having sex then the so-called "friendship" will be over. Almost guaranteed!

 

I wholeheartedly agree with alpha

[lee25ky]

i have known this guy for about 9months. became friends with benefits, yet he always was jealous if i was just "talking" to another guy. I really loved him and still think i do, and hes well aware of that and still came around. I never pushed him into dating and so forth, but recently he decided to go out and date this other girl and he told me they are together. The thing is he hasnt dated in so long, said he never would again, and he also tells that to everyone. I know he cared about me,and others said he did to. He use to drop everything to just hang out with me. Him and I been through alot together as well, boy oh boy have we ever. But he always came back around. I always treated him with the upmost respect(except one time i blew up at him for disrespecting me). Recently since he told me he was sleeping with her, i went and got tested for everything(he was the only one i been with when i was with him). I sent him the results(they were negative) along with the brochure of STD's, i had to do it, so he knew that i was clean and couldnt throw anything ever in my face. Also to show that i respect myself to stick to one person, unlike him. I told him its not safe to have multiple partners and he should see the risks, as well as hurting others. I know he cares, maybe he was just telling me that he was with this girl to anger me, because him and i have gotten closer and he started to turn around. I dont know what to think, its been really frusterating. I havent talk to him in three weeks and im not calling him either. Has anyone been in this kind of situation before and its turned out for the better or worse? It sucks, and hurts.

[Mary3]

This is Rediculous.

 

Stop fooling yoursef.

 

He had sex with you and when someone else came along he dropped you and started having sex with them.

 

End of story.

 

You did not have a loving committed relationship. You had sex. And thats all.

 

Sure he cared....sure.....but now he is sleeping with someone else....how much does he care now ?