I am actually "moving on".. and I feel sad. Why?

[Nachocheese]

I feel sad to the fact that I am moving on. Day by day, my feelings are fading. Day by day, I look forward to meeting another person. Day by day, I understand that she is not the one. Day by day, I am moving on.

 

We got our closure and the last time we talked we exchanged tips on how to become a better partner for the next one. We apologized and forgave each other. We laughed a lot like nothing happened and ended up being friends. (even though I have no intention of making contact anymore). Maybe that's why I'm feeling that it's so easy to move on. From being in pain to moving on almost at an instant. I still do cry whenever I delete and untag our photos together.

 

The act of moving on and forgetting our past makes me sad. Am I too detached to move on this quickly? Am I really moving on or unconsciously covering up the pain etc? Or is this what it really feels like to say "goodbye" to your past, all the good and bad, just like when you reminisce about your childhood friends. A bittersweet feeling. Your insights will be helpful, as I go through this process and understand my true feelings.

 

This is my first love and break up.. 5 years together.. 3 weeks engaged.. 1 year (of drifting apart..?)

 

THANKS.

M

[Humantk]

Seems to me you are accepting the separation and healing yourself. It is inspiring.

[Logo]

Whenever long term relationships end, there's that feeling of fading. Memories start to fade and the more they fade, the more painful it feels. It's as though we -- humans -- are disconnecting from that past that we once enjoyed and are afraid of forgetting the good time, the shared memories, the happiness. So we try to cling onto something, anything as though we were on a trip and want a souvenir, but at the same time we understand the reality that to fully heal, we must let go.

 

 

 

What you're going through is normal and natural. Let yourself feel these feelings, but remind yourself that you have to move on. Things will work out.

[Standard-Fare]

In breakups it sometimes feels natural to cling to the pain, almost to wallow in it, because that pain is the last emotional vestige of the relationship and that's the only thing you have to hold onto.

 

But truly, it's going to feel good to be on the other side of that. Keep moving toward that. You will inevitably backtrack at times, but that's a natural part of the healing process.

[Nachocheese]

Thanks for your reply guys. I will continue this journey of healing. It really helps to know that everything will be ok on the other side. I won’t rush this process. I want to make the best out of this painful experience. To accept my shortcomings and improve as a person. But i would be lying if I said I am not thinking about my next “partner” patience, patience.

 

Thanks again. Eveyrthing will be ok.